Adventure on Madison

SETTING THE SCENE
On Wednesday I was driving the Jr. High gals home after Bible study. One lives pretty far out and so we started heading west down Madison. Just past Cicero (you know, right where the road is significantly sketchy) there is this loud KNOCK on the bottom of the van. Poor Fillup the Heifer.  :( It was so loud and jarring I thought maybe we dropped the transmission or something, but we still had power, so really I had no idea what happened. I pulled over and told the girls to stay in the van while I walked around and looked under it. I couldn't see anything strange---no fire, no smoke, no hanging parts, no flat tires....hmmm.

THE PLOT THICKENS
I hear a man behind me shouting "It's back here!" and pointing at the ground. He picks up a chunk of steel and holds it up for me to see. Ohhhh... the muffler finally fell off. So I start walking limping toward him and the muffler. Thankfully he had gloves on and was able to pick it up even though it was hot. He offered to bring the muffler to the van since I didn't have gloves on... how kind, right?

THE PLOT TAKES A TERRIBLE SPIRAL DOWNWARDS
As we are walking back to the van, the "kind Samaritan" says to me: "Normally I would ask for money for something like this..." (REALLY!?!?!) "But I'm a real nice guy, so you know I won't ask you for anything" (Well that's good, cuz I don't have any money to give you) As soon as that was done, he said to me "So, are you alone?" (Creepiest question I have ever been asked, any chance I could outrun him in this boot....?) As he set the muffler down in the van in slow motion he told the girls to put his number in their phone. AND YOU'RE DONE!

Facts of (my) Life:

1. I met a man named Attila this week. Like the Hun! CRAZY!
2. The fire alarm at work started going off and I got excited to wear my safety vest, but then it stopped suddenly. What a tease!
3. I am on the CTA’s hot list. No seriously…apparently requesting a new card automatically deactivates your current card and the attendant assumes you have stolen it. I was going to make up an elaborate story about how I jumped the turnstiles, etc to get on CTA’s “most wanted” list, but I couldn’t come up with anything to be the etc.
4. The is an alarm clock called the Wake N’Bacon that you put a piece of frozen bacon in the night before and then you wake up to the smell of freshly cooked bacon. Who loves bacon? AWESOME!
5. I travelled the distance to visit my friendly podiatrist today. All I could do is shake my head as I mapped out the way to get there. How did I end up there last week?
He removed the cast. WOOHOO!
He also told me to leave the boot on a few more days. BOOHOO!
6. COUNTDOWN TO SEEING ALLI: 4 DAYS!
7.  I went to prayer meeting the other night with Joscey. (Note: She is really spiritual and influenced me to do that instead of go to Sweet Tomatoes with a coupon. Good woman!) We left the heifer at home with Dave so he could put antifreeze in it while we were gone. One the way home I text him a little reminder asking if he got a chance to “fill up” the van. I read it aloud and Joscey thought I was referring to the van as Phillip the Heifer. I really think that name should stick….but spell it Fillup. I do love to name things.
8. The boots really are waterproofed! Let me know if you need anything waterproofed. I am a master at it- apparently!
9. Today is Noelle's birthday and I just love that girl! A true friend is one that loves you through all those crazy life stages- Noelle had had the "joy" of seeing me through some rough ones...oversized Winne the Pooh t-shirts and American flag culottes with matching scrunchie...you know! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!

Snow Globe

Laying on my bed with my left foot propped up on a stack of blankets with the window blinds open, I feel as though I am in the midst of a snow globe. So I put on Rosie Thomas’ Christmas album and am enjoying the winter wonderland pretty well.

In preparation for this snowy time of year I bought waterproofing spray for my fake ugg boots from Payless. (BOGO!) This morning I put on the first coat – I think it was a success. I’ll let you know on Monday.  

At the end of summer, I started reading through Anne of Green Gables series. Though I love the movies, I never took the time to read the books. They have been DELIGHTFUL! I am now on book 5… looking forward to this wedding.

Since being in the boot, Hyacinth and I have watched 2 seasons of HGTV’s DesignStar and some of Samantha Who? on Hulu. Yes, I am so bored….out of my mind!

Now, I am convinced what a gift mobility is- one that I am determined not to take for granted for a long time after this  experience. It takes a million times more effort to haul yourself places and so much longer to get around on CTA. It is teaching me quite a bit about patience – which I could stand to learn a few things about I admit- so that’s a plus.

COUNTDOWN TO GETTING THIS CAST OFF: 7 DAYS!

COUNTDOWN TO SEEING ALLI: 11 Days!

Feet

I came back from Thanksgiving in Michigan with my family on Monday and I was a hot mess. Now, I know people say that all the time, but really I was the epitome of this description. 2 suitcases, a purse and a Christmas tree is alot to juggle on public transit... and I'm sure watching me made more than one person's day on the el platform. You're welcome. Despite running into posts and persons and moving my gear to my spot on the train 1 piece at a time, I made it home and was never happier to sit on my bed with Hyacinth and catch up on the latest Internet happenings. Sometime between that blissful moment and the one when I decided to go grocery shopping in a downpour my left foot started killing. I pushed through the pain and hauled all my groceries in but found myself hobbling more and more throughout the night.

The next day it was excruciating and close to impossible to walk on. I stayed home from work and attempted to get medical help for my foot and my cold- did I mention I had a cold...? HOT MESS. I told you. I took the heifer (my affectionate name for our 15 passenger church van) to the community clinic. They were so kind, but the woman I saw did not leave me convinced she knew what the problem was or how to fix it. so I called a podiatry office or two to make an appointment. The problem was they were booked to Christmas.

I was frazzled that my problem could not be fixed in 2 seconds- that's about my patience level for things like that. I need progress and facts and treatment plans and solutions- not rest and pain meds. I was determined to go home and find some place where I could see a foot doctor. I tried hard to get home...SO HARD, but somehow I got super turned around and before you knew it I was so far from home and had no idea how to get back there. See my route below: A= Doctor's, B=Point of hopelessness and anger and tears and construction, C= my home


View Larger Map

At point B, in the midst of all my chagrin.... an impressive amount of it too I might add... I saw a sign for a foot doctor's office. Feeling aggressive from all the chagrin, I turned in the parking lot in front of the steam roller working on the road and went to the office to see if they happened to be seeing new patients and if they had any openings.... right now. :) Can you believe they did? And that the staff LOVE Jesus and Moody? And they took my pain really seriously and did x-rays and gave me a soft cast and a boot to wear around for a week or so? And the office is super old school and the doctor tapped my foot before leaving and I felt like one of his grandkids? How does that even happen?
I felt a considerable amount of relief from the pain and should have been elated with this development; which I was...for awhile. But I felt discouraged by all the extra work lugging this boot around would be, and suddenly didn't find feeling like a hot mess very amusing and  the next thing I knew I was laying on my bed in the "depths of despair". bleh!

Joscey called me just then and offered to come over later that night. It might sound silly, but I felt so incredibly loved and like I belonged that she would do that in the midst of her busy family life. That she would come and bring me dinner and a hug and listen to me drone on about all my fears and failings and pray with me. I was reminded by her kindness that this is how God cares for me...  Too often I find myself wallowing in self pity because I don't have a spouse or a family and am alone in life.(wah.wah. wah.) But really that is such a pathetic and ungrateful attitude because in every moment I need someone, God provides me with a member of His body; sometimes a hand,other times ...a foot. :) 

All Things New

I ate a juicy delicious cantaloupe for dinner tonight. Thinking of and loving Grandpa....SO MUCH!

Hope Floats

At some point in my life I have seen this movie, but all I remember about it is Sandra Bullock line dancing while Harry Connick Jr. twitches his lip in sync with his eyebrow. The title is applicable to my thoughts tonight even if I have no idea what it has to do with boot scoot boogies in Hollywood.

There is something poetic about hope…it undoubtedly keeps us afloat at times; keeps us from throwing in the proverbial towel. In the spiritual arena we have such grand hopes- heaven, glory, righteousness, calling, salvation, eternal life, light, justice, etc. I have my list of frivolous earthly hopes too- a husband, children, a guesthouse with paned windows,  trim down 50 pounds, etc.  Though I know the only ones guaranteed to me are the spiritual ones, there is a quality in all of them that causes me to look forward and press on toward the future.

These hopes feel like a double edged sword at times to me though. Waiting for faith to be made sight seems to take FOREVER and I find myself losing heart that they will ever be realities after all. It makes me feel impatient and weary to imagine keeping that flame of hope flickering any longer.

Ever since my grandpa died 2 years ago I have had this uncanny ability to choose really great cantaloupes. He had a knack for choosing a good one himself. He also used to torment the old women at the fruit market, doing everything short of a dance to test out the melons while watching them copy his “technique” out of the corner of his eye. It’s nothing superstitious, but a gift nonetheless to cut into one and be reminded of what a great grandpa I had. Last week I bought a cantaloupe from Pete’s market. I cut into it to find it was hard and dry and terrible. It may seem silly but it devastated me. 

When I came back to Chicago from a family fun weekend in Kalamazoo, my house was here waiting for me. Everything was in the exact spot I left it, it was silent and there was no one to welcome me home. I felt so small and insignificant….and forgotten. Being spoiled with affection around my family for a couple days and then coming back to all my stuff was a stark contrast. Don’t get me wrong, I have a very full and meaningful life but sometimes the loneliness makes me anxious about the future.

Walt Disney, Sandra and Harry failed to mention that hoping is hard work; that it takes grit and determination and the power of the Holy Spirit. It is a beautiful thing that I cling to even though on some nights it is only by a thread. God’s promises are secure and one day we will not need hope any longer. Our longing and waiting will be over and we will see Him face to face!

This thirsty soul drinks in the comfort of that surety.

2 Corinthians 4:16| Therefore, we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

SAFETY FIRST

Practicing blowing my whistle

 That's right.... you should all be jealous. Today at work I was appointed FLOOR MONITOR! If there is a fire...or a fire drill I have to put on this vest, blow my whistle and make sure all in my office complex vacate to safety.  

Can't hide from saftey

 My new role reminds me of this video

"Be where you should be, not where you shouldn't!"

This.Is.Amazing!

David Crowder Band-SMS (Shine)

You dropped your pants!

Imagine me running after a man down Wells street with a mega soda from Subway in one hand and a copy of Anne of Avonlea in the other shouting, "Excuse me! Sir! Sir! You dropped your pants!"

If you had been walking down Wells street at lunch time today you would not have had to imagine... A pair of jeans fell out of this dedicated jogger's unzipped backpack and landed right at my feet. Obligated by sympathy I scooped them up and tried to catch him since the ipod was impairing his hearing. (Apparently he was not expecting anyone running after him shouting about pants.)

So a lesson for all of you... a word to the wise... zip up your pants before running at lunch otherwise, you'll drop them!

Aragorn Strumming on the Old Banjo

When I started the last post I had no intention of writing about men. Not sure how that happened...(wah!wah! Bring on all your witty reasons.)

What I meant to write about the concert, was that Andrew Peterson was talking about hope and despair. He was describing a scene from Lord of the Rings (forgive me for not remembering exactly which one… they are ALL so epic). Long story short: someone almost gave up but then didn’t because something/someone intervened and then everyone was victorious.

Andrew pointed out that to despair is to assume that we know the end of our story, but we really don't. At any moment something could happen or someone could show up and it could totally change the course of things. And so despite the dire circumstances or the darkness or the hurt, there is ALWAYS cause to hope.I know the details are a little hazy, but the point stands out in my mind. 

I was reading through some old journals a few weeks ago and was struck with how many times I said the same old things.... every time thinking they were original or groundbreaking. Oh well- at least I am consistent. :) I wished somehow that from my current place in life could have spoken to the Rachel who penned some of those hopeless words; wished in those moments of despair and loneliness I could have told her what hope and light was coming round the mountain (with Dinah...haha).

Also, quote from my journal Summer 2008 after seeing Lord of the Rings for the first time: "How did I ever live without this epic narrative in my life?" 

For the love of the weekend...and men

Last weekend rocked my face off… no seriously, there were so many favorite things packed into one weekend that my little heart could hardly contain it all:

Fall colors and a walk through the park – check!

Derek & Sandra concert – check!

A drive to Naperville at sunset – check!

Girls running club – check!

The marathon – check!

Spending time with so many good friends – check!

Tastee Freeze – check!

The Amazing Race – check!

Andrew Peterson concert – check!

Tag team story telling – check!

Praise and worship with the church – check!

Deep sleep – check!

My heart may burst just from reading this list back!

Saturday night’s Andrew Peterson concert was such a gift. Andy Gullahorn and Ben Shive came too and all three were wearing plaid. 

3rd row seats courtesy of the most generous Dave & Joscey!

 I don’t know these men personally, but there is something so rare about them that comes through in their music.  Their love of the Gospel, of Jesus is so apparent and I find myself thirsty to know the Word more. Their humor and honesty about themselves leaves you with no doubts that they are regular guys- though more poetic than most.

Oh dear- I feel like this is turning into a fan post and that’s not really what I want it to be at all.

The media and the world is so quick to exalt and measure men by their harshness of power;  and I just appreciate that these guys manage to avoid the trappings of that mentality and focus on the cross instead. Don’t get me wrong, I love a strong man as much as the next gal, but I think there is something skewed about the expectations men feel; whether it’s from women or the church or the world or even themselves. I couldn’t really explain to you why men are always such a passion subject for me. For what it’s worth though: I really want to see men have the freedom to glory in their Redeemer; to serve and speak and love and lead from that place.

In every ministry I have been a part of, in every brokenness I have experienced or witnessed, there is a unique role in healing that only men can play.  Sadly, too often men of God are absent from this process. I’m not sure why that is… Men, don’t you know how vital you are?  Have you never considered how cool you are? You hiking, biking, money making, bicep curling men out there? (lest this list exclude you, please insert your –ing activity of choice)Seriously, the church needs you, the family needs you, the Westside of Chicago needs you, the world needs you! Please don’t hide. We think you are really great. REALLY GREAT!

I’m pretty sure only women read my blog, so this is not a very effective medium for my gushing. Maybe I should go climb a mountain and shout this…or the rooftop perhaps? :) [insert Fiddler on the Roof song here!]

Petition

A friend recently interviewed me about my educational experience for a paper. I do have a varied educational experience- private school, public school and home learning. :)

As I talked stream of consciousness about my time at Armada Elementary School, I was struck with what a terrible child I was and how many schemes I came up with there. You all my not believe it because I am so great now (hahahaha), but my poor mother. I wonder if she knew what she was getting into by teaching me at home. :)

Here are a few favorites, terribly embarrassing favorites: 
1. In 2nd grade, buying a recorder from the 4th grade class while I was supposed to be "in the bathroom." I didn't know how to sneak it back into my classroom, so I shoved it down a pant leg. Yeah, the ones with the stirrups on the feet. I had gotten $3 from my Mom for it- told her it was a requirement for school. (Which it was for the 4th graders) I came home and showed her what I had "learned" about playing the recorder. I think I tried to keep up that act for about a week. :)
2. In 1st grade, throwing an absolute tantrum while my mom tried to bundle me into a snowsuit. I still remember the sobering conversation my Mom had with me about being a bad testimony. I wish Mrs. Holleweg could see how well behaved I am now.
3. Offering to clean the gym at recess for a couple weeks straight and was really just playing in there with Jean Marie Belvedere instead. How did I pull that off?
4. Going to the music lab for the last time slot of the day. I wanted to keep playing that interactive musical computer game for more than my allotted 15 minutes, so I kept turning the timer back. Apparently while I was do-ra-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do-ing the whole school was looking for me & the bus was waiting on me. oops!

All time favorite terribly embarrassing memory from Elementary:
I hated recess. Isn't that sad? I never knew what to do or who to hang out with though so it was always awkward for me. Most times I stood and talked to the adult monitor. A few times I remember doing something with a group- like pretending to be newscasters or eating bark. Yeah, some kid named Daryl convinced us it was very nutritious. Once I got in trouble for saying the word "hell" when telling another girl about Jesus. (You should have seen my defiance when I was confronted by a teacher... you would have thought I was being marched out to the guillotine!)

Anyway, at recess one day I noticed some rust on the swing set and suddenly I had this bright idea of what I could do at recess. I started a petition for the swings to be replaced. I was sure that the rust was evidence of a million safety violations and I was determined to right this injustice! :) hahahahaha. Despite the passionate and convicted speech I offered, my classmates were less than concerned. I was sure they were just afraid of getting in trouble though- apparently I was the only one with enough guts to zealously stand against the administration...to fight the system...to defend the cause of the weak! I promise I am not exaggerating how noble an endeavor I thought this was.

Knowing that "the man" who was actually a woman would not take me seriously on my own I devised a plan to work the audience- for their own benefit of course. I started offering candy bars to everyone who would sign my petition and suddenly my page was filling up with names. Next to their name they wrote their candy bar choice. :) I was all politician in my youth though and had no intention of giving anyone a candy bar.

I left the petition for Principal M and went back to class. At the end of the day, she came to my classroom and took me to the hall for a chat. She asked me if I really thought the swings were a danger. I told her solemnly that I did. She told me that she would send the maintenance men out to inspect them regularly. She seemed to be taking this as seriously as I had hoped. She even put me in charge of reporting any swings whose condition was getting worse to her right away. A smart woman.

The next week I got so many demands from my classmates for candy bars, I decided I would have to follow through. So I went home and told my Mom very matter of factly I needed 50 candy bars. :) haaaaaaaaaaa! If you know my Mom you know how she responded. After an initial "WHAT?" and my explanation of things; she marched me through Sam's club muttering under her breath about how I was giving her gray hair and was going to be the death of her and next time I should think before making promises and no daughter of hers was going to not keep her word. She put a giant bag of assorted fun size candy bars into the cart. I opened my mouth to argue that they were supposed to be full size and give the list of the kinds I needed. I closed it right away though because I saw that look in my mom's eye. I knew I had a better chance of talking Jean Marie into a Snickers than persuading my Mom to get something else. Si se puta!

Running & Hemorrhaging

Only the Lord's sense of humor could have determined that girls running club would become such a huge and favorite part of my life.The season is getting close to the end and that makes me a little sad.

We ran our first 5k about a month ago. I ran with Niema and quickly learned how motivating a few silly bands can be. :) There were signs set up along the way- some with inspirational quotes, others with fun facts about the neighborhood. Niema and I welcomed the distraction to get our minds off running. One of them said that running asks of you every day if you are strong...Niema told the sign to "Shhhh!" Another one had a Bible passage on it from Romans. Something about suffering producing perseverance. Niema asked what that meant and so we ran and talked about it. When I asked her what suffering was she said, "THIS!" :) haha.  It was so great to have such a rich conversation that came about so naturally. So thankful that the Word of God has everything to do with real life.

Our church started Bible studies for kids and youth this Fall. I really love the Jr. High age group, but we only had 1 Jr. Higher in our church. So we opened it up to the girls in running club and that has been a BLAST! Tamika is leading the group with me and teaching them a praise dance to perform. I tried to follow along last week and got laughed at, so I will now be in the cheering section of the dance troop. :) Right now we are talking about our image and identity. Pray for these young women who are getting so many mixed message from the media and their peers; that God alone would define them. It is such a deep lesson that I know I am still learning... pray that it would really take root in their hearts and minds.

You could also pray that they would be convinced they are not all hemorrhaging. :) Wednesday's lesson was about the woman in this condition who touched Jesus and was healed. On the way home, everyone was still very concerned they might "have that."

Peculiar Loves

Tonight I told a friend that I have peculiar loves….and since then I’ve been listing them all in my brain. So here are some…feel free to add any more that you know that I have forgotten.
Nova Scotia
This place is fantastically colorful and ALIVE and I can’t wait to go there sometime!
Andrew Peterson
He is playing a show in Chicago on FRIDAY SATURDAY and I’m thrilled to be attending with dear friends (though I will miss Alli at my side).
Slurpees
After a 2 month hiatus, I had one of these this weekend. SO CHILL!
Barry Manilow
What can I say? The man writes the songs that make the whole world sing! Alli sent me an autobiography of his last month and I laughed and screamed with delight. There is a pictorial section with baby barry and bar mitzvah barry… AWESOME!
Literal Version Videos
Seriously fantastic and make me laugh… no matter how many times I have watched them. “I’m not afraid of heights when I wear leather pants!” bahahahaha!
Hairy, Balding MenGoogle searching this was too ridiculous… so here’s a photo instead of a link.

Chicago (the city & the band!)
Peter Cetera’s voice just cannot be replicated…glory of love….so epic!
90’s music
All of it… I love it! The end.
Smadar Livine
Favorite. artist. EVER! I especially love the bright colors she uses. The details and subtlety of the painting’s significance are such a treat to look at. Maybe someday I will inherit a billion dollars and buy an original.
The Amazing Race
This year I’m rooting for the Home Shopping Network gals… could be the winners!!! :)
Anderson Cooper
He’s serious and intelligent and hosted “The Mole” way back in the day.
Excel
I know it’s incredibly nerdy, but I do love it so much. It comes up more often in conversation than I would like to admit. :) I’m embracing it though.

SIDENOTE: I am listening to a Peter Cetera Playlist on YouTube while writing this. “Couldn’t stand to be kept away, just for the day, from your body…”

Fall
No need to explain this much… you know it’s your fave season too. :)
The Moon
I’m not entirely sure how it started…but the moon has become such a reassurance and reminder of God “seeing” me. It is wonderful to know that though I am small- I am significant enough to the Creator to be fully known. 
Bridges over waterThis is how this all got started…As we were walking around Douglas Park tonight there was a bridge over water I got inexplicably excited about. I have a feeling that it has something to do with this favorite moment from Anne of Avonlea… 

Hyacinth

My new computer has a cool new blog program …and I am testing it out. My computer’s name is Hyacinth. She’s pretty rockin awesome.

The Commute: flirty

When I first moved and was being more responsible to get on the "early" train, I would always see the same CTA worker in the mornings. We'll call him Joe Bob. He was a real jolly guy who always referred to be as Ms. Monroe, because of my remarkable resemblance to Marilyn Monroe. (hahahhaa. Yes, I am being sarcastic!And Yes, he really called me that!) Well, I thought it was cute coming from an older grandfatherly man and made me feel special on the days when I was tripping up the escalator, feeling like a hot mess, emailing Saudi Arabia and such.

UNTIL....

One morning I took the "later" train when Joe Bob was getting off his shift. So we stood on the platform chatting about the weather and other miscellaneous socially acceptable tokens. There was a lull and I took a moment to look and see if the train was coming yet. Still nothing. When I looked back to Joe Bob, he seemed more sober than I remember our conversation requiring.
JOE BOB: I've been waiting a long time to tell you this...
ME: oh... (laughing nervously and totally unable to imagine what it might be)
JOE BOB: You are beautiful. I love your hair....(reaches out and touches my hair)
ME: (Completely stunned and speechless)
JOE BOB: I'm sorry I couldn't resist. I better watch myself, right?
ME: Yeah (akwardly and slowly backing up, look for the train. STILL NOTHING)
JOE BOB: I noticed you because you have a great smile and your ass isn't hanging out of your pants like the other girls on this block. Where do you stay at?
ME: Um, over on 19th and Kedzie (A generic street corner near my house)
JOE BOB: Well, are you married, got a boyfriend or kids?
ME: No. No. No. (Wishing I could've lied...) How about you?
JOE BOB: I'm not married and I've got three kids who are grown now.
ME: How old are they? (Hoping this question would spark some measure of logic and reason)
JOE BOB: Oh, 43, 37 and 31.
ME: Oh... that's nice. How old are you? (Breathing easy because surely he realizes I am younger than his children and surely saying his own age will make everything click)
JOE BOB: I'm 65. So, do you think I could come over sometime and pick you up and we could do something together?
ME: Uhhh... (laughing nervously again) Well, I'm not anywhere near 65.
JOE BOB: It doesn't matter how old you are- it only matters how old you feel.
THE TRAIN ARRIVES!
JOE BOB: I like to do real nice things like watch TV and we could eat dinner together. Or I could come sit on the step with you.  (Standing close to me on the train)
ME: No, I don't think so. Sorry, I'm not interested!
JOE BOB: No? Really? Alright well... (putting his hand over mine) Be sweet baby.(He goes and sits down)
ME: OK thanks. 

So step aside all you 65 year old single ladies.... Apparently I'm what the men are looking for in that age bracket. :)

The Commute

Every weekday morning I play a game of time with the snooze button and the train schedule.

This morning I won. (insert evil, victorious laughter here) Last night you would have thought I was defeated though.... I forgot to set my alarm. oops! At 7:01am, I woke up. To my credit; I did not panic, just did what needed to be done and was at the train station by 7:14am. The train came by 7:15am! Somehow I managed to get on the "early" train to work! This train should probably be referred to more accurately as the "responsible, get to work 10 minutes early" train. Instead I usually take the "just need to put on deodorant before leaving and arrive at work right on time" train.

Last week I set 2 new records for the commute home- the shortest and the longest. 25 minutes and 65 minutes. The longest commute was 40 minutes of being delayed because of signal clearance.... 40 minutes of CTA apologizing for the inconvenience...40 minutes of me imagining the previous afternoon's ride... 40 minutes of additional people watching.

To date, my favorite sight from the el was of an older man with a pet squirrel who was doing tricks on the platform to entertain those waiting. It was a kind of bizarre circus act that you couldn't look away from... a bizarrely AWESOME circus. :)

9 days

We're down to single digits..... till ANDREW PETERSON!

Sat Oct 9, 2010

Chicago, IL / Christian Fellowship Free Church

Show 6:00 PM / Doors 5:00pm / Map

3425 N. Damen
Chicago, IL 60657

Free Concert / Love Offering
More Info: 312-666-4400

An Ode to CEF

I was asked to write this for an upcoming banquet in my local area... and thought it might be cool to share.

At 8 years old (as I often am in stories about my childhood) I sat in Junior Church listening to Jim Wisman tell a story about a gutsy woman, illustrated in pink and white, who loved the Lord. She loved Him so much that she served Him from the time she was a teenager in Scotland to the time of her death in Calabar, (now known as the New Hebrides Islands). I admired her courage and wanted to be just like her… You may be familiar with this story as that of Mary Slessor. Though I didn’t realize it was a CEF lesson at the time, it was already influencing my mind and heart.

My parents hosted a 5 Day club (also when I was 8 years old!) and I remember singing the songs along with the Sumer Missionary, Aaron Schmuck. I invited neighbor friends and was exuberant to see some of them come to Christ.

A little older than 8 now, I remember watching Tom Bump (the director at the time) make balloon creatures and teach us a peculiar song that had A LOT of words, but none on the visual. At a youth group event a few years later, Tom shared how we could be trained to teach the Gospel at a camp called SMA. My best friend Noelle Kimberley was going, so I decided to tag along. Only the Lord could have known how that week in 1999 would change my life!

For the next 6 years, CEF and I were inseparable! I attended CYIA the next few summers as a student, student staff and then intern. I taught clubs all over Michigan, drove summer missionaries around in the white van my parents let me use- affectionately known as the “CEF-mobile”, spoke at churches, scheduled clubs, helped with VBS, taught Good News Club, worked at the fair, went to committee meetings, helped with TCE demonstrations and even went to Kenya to partner in CYIA training there. Throughout these 6 years, I was blessed to meet so many of you who are sitting here tonight!

The Lord used CEF to shape and mold me as a teenager. Whether it was a long talk with Carol Horn while we cleaned out the office basement, or prayer with Helen Stroh from the committee while we cut verse tokens, whether it was listening to a child pray in their own words to show their belief in Jesus or listening to the Summer Missionaries over lunch celebrate what God was doing; I was discipled by this ministry. I learned what the body of Christ really was as I saw families opening their homes to the kids in the neighborhood- making eternal connections with them! And as churches and individuals cared for me too- financially supporting my summer endeavors or covering me in prayer.

In August 2004, I moved to Chicago to attend Moody Bible Institute. Every student there has a Practical Christian Ministry that they are involved with each week. My PCM (for short) was teaching a Good News Club in a southwest neighborhood of the city called Lawndale. We met in the Werner family’s back yard and tried as best we could to stick to the curriculum. My partner and I found that these kids had so many questions- and lacked a foundation in the Word. They were not quite ready for the stories of Joshua and Judges; so we adjusted to the basics of Creation and Who God is and what Prayer is and we saw light in some of their eyes. The Werner family moved overseas and I got involved in some other ministries in the city. I started attending a house church on Chicago’s West side and would teach the children there every few weeks. CEF was never far from my mind though, the training of IPEAR is innately ingrained into my soul! No matter the venue (Teaching children, giving a meal and testimony to the homeless, mentoring college students as an RA), God’s truth changes lives. That’s what I learned from CEF.

Fast forward to May 2008. I graduated from Moody Bible Institute and made this crazy decision to stay in the city… where sadly you cannot see the stars shine like at home in Memphis. I was an international ministries major preparing for the foreign mission field and then found myself living downtown and working at my alma mater in the Vice President of Student Services office instead. I had a regular income and benefits and running water- all things I had been preparing myself to do without.

I am still here in Chicago, working at Moody Bible Institute (though now in the Housing Department), attending the house church and now living next door to the Werner family who has returned from overseas. Junior High girls are a big part of my life and ministry. I participate in a girls running club where we train for a 5k together, while building relationships and awareness about health issues. We are also beginning a Bible Study with the same group of girls from the community. The Lord has woven so many threads of my life (seemingly unrelated) together for His glory.

Though I am not living in Calabar and have a sparse amount of pink and white in my wardrobe, Mary Slessor and all the other CEF lessons have inspired me to live in radical obedience to Christ. Though sometimes failing, I love Him and want to serve Him…. Always.

In the future, I have a dream of managing a guest house (possibly overseas) where missionary workers or Pastors who are tired can come and rest awhile. I would love to be in charge of the daily operations of cooking and changing sheets to hear their stories in exchange. It would be my desire to share those stories with the church to drive us to prayer and service ourselves. Also, it would be awesome to partner in getting some resources to those where Gospel literature is not as readily available. So… I guess we can all wait and see how the Lord weaves those desires together! :)

Don't Panic...Eat Fresh!

Sometimes for lunch I go to Subway. Sometimes after lunch (for dessert) I go to Subway. I LOVE their cookies... they have the perfect goo to crunch ratio. The guys in there know me pretty well. They shout MEGA when I get to the end of the counter because they know that is the size fountain soda I'll be purchasing. It's unnerving on my most self conscious days.... but also endearing...

When I am there, I am always struck with the panic that seems to come over people when the worker behind the counter shouts, "Welcome to Subway, what would you like?"

These are professionals, business men and women that are accustomed to stressful situations and high volume work loads. However, they seem to come unglued when trying to order at Subway! Suddenly they stammer and their mind goes blank. They ask for one bread then change their mind to another.... "6 inch, no footlong; American and Pepperjack; that costs more? Did I say toasted?" It makes me want to work at Subway just to be entertained by everyone's high strung antics. Reminds me of Brian Regan's commentary on Doughnut Day- maybe that's why I noticed it. Though I feel like if you did work at Subway you would only be able to laugh about this phenom with other Subway workers (and possibly freaks like myself who are shockingly observant as well). Can you imagine coming home every night with a punch line about tomatoes and mayo? I don't think anyone would appreciate that.... not many anyway, not many.

It's funny, but also kinda pathetic that we can be fragile enough to be sent over the edge by lunch. Though I have never lived through any slower paced period of the past, I am enjoying being a part of the fictional version found within Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. (Ironically I have so enjoyed this world that I have read through it at lightening speed).

The land and our relationship to it is a theme throughout his writing. That's the thing that has struck me most while reading this book. My love for Jewish things and the Old Testament may have created a consciousness about "the land" in a spiritual sense; a theological significance even of ownership, cultivation and rest. What I have been struck by is much more physical than all that though, yet that still intertwines with the spiritual in its way.

Berry's knowledge and description of the purpose and satisfaction found in farming has been convicting to me (particularly in regards to our relationship with food as a society). When I want to eat, I just go to Subway or grab something at the grocery store. There is no toil, no patience, no connection to where that food came from or responsibility to your body and community. It has become a fact of life that misses the rhythm of seasons entirely (except that this time of the year is the only one when candy corn is readily available!)

I certainly am not qualified in any way to speak to this subject- I have been avoiding seeing movies like "Food, Inc." and reading books like "In Defense of Food" because of how trendy this topic is right now. Somehow though I stumbled into it anyway and now have such an unsettled feeling about the way we consume. Who knew that the invention of tractors to ease the burden could have created a whole new one? And really am I getting out there on the land to till the soil and grow my own everything? What have our central meeting places and common life patterns deteriorated to?

There are things we can gain from going faster and farther on this earth. Lately, I've just been forced to consider the sacrifice that comes along with that "freedom" as well. Maybe if we're not careful it becomes more of a slavery...Sometimes I think it's hard to know which is which.

In my small life, I cannot restructure the economic trends; but maybe there are small ways to recover pieces of what we have lost. Maybe that's why I like sitting on my front porch so much...

Joy Comes In the Morning

Physically this long labor day weekend was relaxing. I didn't DO anything demanding... And the things I did do were all totally enjoyable.

On Friday I had people over for games and ka-bobs. (My first attempt ever at making ka-bobs and it was pretty much a success. If I could do it over though I would marinade the meat first. A good trick to remember for next time.) It was such a fun time to laugh and chill together. My fave telephone pictionary phrase gone wrong was Rob's "She's buying a stairway to heaven." Somewhere between Kaitlyn and Nikki the angels in heaven transformed into butterflies.... hahahha.

Saturday the girls running club was located on the lakefront which was as fun as running can get. Lanier was my running partner and she is delightful... though I don't know how well either of us did at motivation that morning. :) I took a NAP! Then I started a new book called Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. HE IS PHENOMENAL! And is probably now my 2nd fave author; 1st in my heart will always be Chaim Potok! I used to say that I didn't like fiction books, but I am coming to realize that it is more accurate to say that I only like a certain kind of fiction book. No offense to Janette, but A Gown of Spanish Lace just doesn't do it for me anymore.

On Sunday I made cosmic brownies and ate the batter while watching the Goonies. Everyone I know loves it and was appalled that I had not seen it. I tried to like it, but I don't think I really "got" it. Maybe it is one of those things you can only appreciate in it's nostalgia from your own childhood. Admittedly though, the truffle shuffle made me laugh out loud.

Monday it was glorious to sleep in until 8:30am! (Who am I right now??? How did I ever sleep till 11am before?) I quietly read on the porch for awhile and then went to Jolanda's house for BBQ. She is an incredible host- so generous. There were ribs and potato salad and baked beans and corn on the cob and chicken and hot dogs and all was delicious! She said that she is the "Big Momma" of the family and the church and her block. I'm so thankful to be a part of her family. Also I went to the Garfield Park Conservatory for awhile. I journaled in the outdoor garden and enjoyed the cool breeze and blew bubbles. :) Don't judge me, I love bubbles! That night I was on the porch for over 2 hours... I had intended to read, but then all the craziness was going on and I found myself distracted by prayer instead.

All those details to say that I should have been rested and energized and ready for such a short week ahead, but sadly that wasn't quite the case. I was troubled and couldn't get my mind to slow down. I was anxious and worried and disappointed and fearful and angry. I had all these expectations for my day off (as if I was never to have a holiday again) and instead of enjoying it; I found myself restless to figure out what to do with myself. I was wrestling with the Lord to have peace about things that are beyond my control and understanding. I was grieving not being able to call my Grandpa on his birthday. I was needy and lonely and sensitive. The whole weekend felt like a night when you are so unbelievably tired but cannot find sleep.

The story of Jonah popped into my head when I was at the park and I read it over. God was good to convict me about how the story ends. With a plant generously provided to be a covering that shrivels and how strong Jonah responds to that. He throws a fit of entitlement out of ignorance which was much the same of what I had been doing all weekend. I'm also thankful for a good conversation with Joscey later at the BBQ and the assurance I have of her prayers on behalf of my wounded heart. The body of Christ is pretty cool like that.

Tuesday (you know, the day I had to go back to work) was such a blessing though- and nothing to dread really at all. My roommate gave me a ride to work in the morning. A totally unexpected surprise! At lunch, I heard a beautiful engagement story from this weekend. Totally an encouragement to hear how they have both walked this road so faithfully looking to Jesus! At the end of the day, Kaitlyn came by and we chatted for awhile then went swimming together. It was so much fun and I loved laughing with her and confessing some of my silliest and most profound thoughts from the weekend! I bought a coloring book on the way home- a beautiful adult one from Paper Source. I sat on the front porch eating dinner and reading. Then I colored while listening to the entirety of "Behold the Lamb." I got into bed as the last song played at 9:10pm and went to sleep overjoyed at the GOSPEL!!

Once I heard Steve Arterburn say how glad he was when he realized that not only were the things in the Bible true, but that what was true in life was in the Bible. The weight of relief from experiencing that firsthand was heavy on me last night. There really is no man's affirmation or best friend's listening ear or chocolate delight that can satisfy me in the deepest parts. It is only Jesus Who can meet me there in that brokenness. He can SEE me and UNDERSTAND me and HEAL me- all the things I am so desperately longing for and restless about. Though He may be a Spirit, He somehow in reality touches us. What a mystery! I don't know why I always am doubting this truth...and subsequently needing to re-experience it. Glory to Jesus that He is all our Hope and Peace!

I am so grateful to be free of the many things that were tangling me up this weekend. I felt a joy this morning and a rest that was so refreshing to my soul (even if it was not on my day off). This morning on the way across the plaza to my office, I passed a sprinkler with a pathetic drizzle on the lawn. I noticed a little robin playfully standing under the spray that was gentle enough for it and I laughed out loud. It looked right at me as if it knew the reason I was laughing and disapproved. I am after all the girl who was blowing bubbles in the park this weekend! hahaha
Also, 10 Million bonus points to me for beginning this post with the word "Physically." :)

INTERNATIONAL SENSATION

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More than a block party

Things on my block have been insane tonight. I'll spare you the details (for my Mom's sake), but it was a crazy place for a couple of hours. I had intended to read, which I did a bit of, but then couldn't helped but be sucked in by all that was going on around me.

It's not a movie, it's not a game- this is real and sobering and found myself crying out to the LORD on behalf of this place. I felt helpless to do anything more than that and I am trusting that our all-wise, all-powerful God is at work on this block.

BRING YOUR FREEDOM & PEACE LORD JESUS!
Remember my block in your prayers please... we need Jesus here.

Lost and Found

Most of the things I lose are not really a big deal. In fact sometimes I even forget that I had them to begin with and it's more like getting something new if I find them. On a few occasions I have lost something precious.

The Metal Momma I made in high school. My vanity compelled me to enter it in an art show I wasn't attending and the art teacher,Pastor Joe's nuttiness compelled him to lose it. I worked so hard on that piece and my Mom loved it so much and I grieve every now and then that it is gone.

A bone ring from Kenya. I gave it to a boy I thought I would love forever and every now and then I grieve that the boy and the ring are not in my life.

A boldly striped sweater. I looked pretty awesome in that sweater, but it got stolen in the laundry room at college. It probably wasn't intentional, but sometimes when I don't know what to wear I grieve that sweet little number is not around.

My balance. When I was 8.... hahaha just kidding. (For all those who don't know why that is funny- I remember everything from my childhood at age 8 for some reason. It was a really significant year apparently!) I was younger than that though when I fell down the steps at my grandparents house. I tumbled (a little less impressively than MacGyver) and broke my arm. To this day my Uncle Ted teases me if I have found my balance yet.

My Michigan license. It was a significant day when I got a Illinois license. (And not just because they print your weight on the front-ick! A man had to have thought of that)I miss saying that I belong in Pure Michigan. Maybe it wasn't my 16 year old self photo that I was so attached to, just my status as being from somewhere where everyone knew my name.... like Cheers... wow! I am so unbelievably full of cliches today.

Anyway, I started thinking about this idea of things lost because last week I lost my silver ring I bought in India. It wasn't expensive, but it was ultra symbolic of the Lord's incredible hand of protection and provision during those 6 weeks and also a replacement in a way of the ring I mentioned above. Admittedly I cried over this little guy and I dug through the women's locker room trash and I prayed about it. At the pool, I gave myself 50 versions of the same pep talk about God's promises remaining despite the physical evidence being lost. When I got back to my office, it was gleaming on the floor in front of my closet. My heart did this funny kind of flip flop and I literally shouted outloud for joy. My thanksgiving was deeply genuine and I may have included a little hop too.

This week I was also reading in Luke the parables about the coin and the lamb and the son that were lost, then found. (Flashback to a Sunday school lesson series with these stories illustrated completely in shades blue and white.) It was an encouragement to imagine the joy there is being found in Christ, especially if finding such a small trinket could cause such a stirring.

I am so grateful that IN HIM I am found and known and loved and forgiven- ETERNALLY!