New Olympic Sport: Carting

I tried to complete a simple task two days ago: grocery shopping.
In the city you have to be a little more creative about transportation than at home, but I am up for that challenge. The flawless plan was to walk to Jewel and bring along the handy cart from my Grandpa so I did not have to carry all the groceries back.

Here's the thing:
I got down on the street and could not figure out how to unfold this wire cart. I pushed and pulled and kicked it a few times, but to no avail. I would calmly lean against the brick of the building and wait for the crowd of people to get beyond me and then start my intense attempt to dislodge the cart. 15 minutes later I sat defeated and pouting on the stoop with no plan. Kaitlyn arrived just in time and saved the day- who knew that turning a cart upside down is an effective method?

So, with cart opened I was now back on track. A little later than I had hoped, but still in the plan. The walk to Jewel was very pleasant. I saw a couple of "our kids" on the lawn at Moody playing frisbee with their "Big Brothers" and thanked God for men in these boys lives. I had seen them earlier at the pool too. Somehow they can get whatever they want from me... I think I agreed to a pizza party at report card time! As I was getting out of the pool (you know that awkward moment when your suit suddenly becomes a suction cup and you realize you have not shaved in far too long?), one of the "big brothers" introduced himself. (Note: This is not the appropriate time to make small talk) I politely chatted with the bro, holding the boogie board just under my chin so as not to draw attention to how uncomfortable I felt meeting a (half naked) man for the first time in my suction suit, while dripping wet.

About an hour later; my hair still wet, and blocking out the entire poolside meet and greet, I passed the boys and their big brothers... with my cart... on my way to Jewel... to simply... grocery shop. I knew from the last time I had taken this cart to Jewel that you do not use it for putting items in it while you are shopping. Since it is made up of wide wire grids, it does not hold the groceries well unless they are bagged. Flashback: me joyfully manuvering my cart around Jewel. A woman stopping to inform me that I am "dragging my milk on the floor." Me looking back to see my 1/2 gallon of milk wedged between the floor and the bottom of my cart and then a trail of groceries from the dairy section to the deli counter that not even Hanzel and Gretel would envy. Bottom Line: It is merely a transportation tool. I know that.... now.

Here's the thing:
If you have a transportation cart and also need a shopping cart... how do you cart both? Well, after the dragging of the milk experience (DOTME as it's come to be known); I had noticed that people would put the transportation cart in the shopping cart and then at checkout would unload one into the other. Perfect plan! I tried to do this, however, my transportation cart is bigger than most and was hanging over the long side of the shopping cart. It was knocking into people. It was scaring children. And would you believe it... it was knocking over an entire salad dressing display? I recovered as I (somehow) always do and despite all the obstacles, I finished shopping in pretty decent time. The store was crowded and everyone seemed to be checking out at once. The lines were long and me and my two carts were feeling impatient. Instead of waiting in line and having some nice woman named Greta bag the items I purchased and figure out how to fit them all into my transportation cart...... I decided self checkout would be "quicker."

Here's the thing:
I don't even believe in self checkout- it steals jobs and the machines always seem to beep at you anyway or be out of something or require some kind of assistance. So normally I would avoid them, but for some reason I went there to check myself out. As I keyed in the individual codes for each kind of onion I bought and tried to make the machine believe that I really had bagged the last item (even though the PARTY STRAWS did not change the weight of the groceries much), a line formed behind me. A long long line of people who just wanted to pay for their bottle of AZ iced tea and gummy bears. They waited while I explained to the machine that I did not need assistance because the "unexpected item in the bagging area" was just my knee trying to keep the overflowing amount of groceries on the little sensor thingy. They waited as I tried to fit every bag into my transportation cart- a higher level of jigsaw then some can appreciate. I think they cheered as I took my receipt and tried ot manuever both carts at least to near the door where I could drop the shopping cart off. They waited just a moment longer as I accidentally ran into my ankle with the fully loaded transportation cart.

I will spare you the details of lugging the cartful of groceries up two flights of stairs. Suffice it to say, that as every other moment in this shopping escapade- it was PAINFUL.

Peapod. I bet whoever invented that, tried shopping once with a transportation cart.