We returned from ACSD on Thursday. Even though I tuckered out a bit after a 9 hour car ride, my body in general was more tired of sitting and eating, so I decided to go to step class.
I sweated my pants off and felt so relieved to be in motion! At the end of class we always pray and recite a motto together while holding hands. :) I've kinda always wanted to volunteer to pray but didn't want to be presumptuous since I am the new kid in the group. This time though Sharon looked at me and asked me to pray! Probably I am more mushy about this than most people would be, but it felt like an initiation of sorts- that now I belonged somehow. What a joy that this place and people I love so much showed (in this small way) that they don't think I'm bad either!
Feeling exhilarated, I walked out to the heifer with my swagger tight. I passed a guy in the window of one of the clinic buildings cleaning. Let me re-phrase: I passed a real good looking man in the window of one of the clinic buildings cleaning. He waved at me and I got all excited to wave back...let's be honest, a little too excited! Somehow instead of waving I stabbed myself right below the lip with my super long nails. It was bleeding and I was wrenching in pain... what a hot first impression right?
With head now out of the clouds, I went home to care for my flirting injury, shower and do laundry.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
ACSD in the Ozarks
June 6th I woke up at 4:30am. 11 hours and alot of quality time in the car with my coworkers later, I was in Springfield, MO for the ACSD conference. This is the first year that my position has been a part of this conference and I was geek-tastically excited about it.
It was so good to be out in the Ozarks and the campus we stayed on was beautiful. The plenary sessions were interesting and even if just personally I was encouraged. I could see it being a really great networking place in the future too for work related things...I just wasn't quite brave enough to mingle apart from my group this year.
I did meet some great people from another college at the opening banquet though. I liked them so much I decided to attend their session held over lunch a few days later. The opening slide flashed up and I knew I was in the wrong place... "being a single RD" hahaha. I am not an RD. oops! At least the single part was right. :)
The planning of the conference tried to incorporate the arts. I am a huge fan of this, but unfortunately I was too immature for some of it. A radio personality man read an excruciatingly descriptive poem about nature... I don't know if it was the bellow of his voice or all the frogs hippity hopping; but I just picked a spot, bit my lip and focused on not chuckling.
One of my fave plenary session speakers was Donna Feitas. She was so interesting and candid and funny- pretty much I want to be her when I grow up. :)
It was so good to be out in the Ozarks and the campus we stayed on was beautiful. The plenary sessions were interesting and even if just personally I was encouraged. I could see it being a really great networking place in the future too for work related things...I just wasn't quite brave enough to mingle apart from my group this year.
I did meet some great people from another college at the opening banquet though. I liked them so much I decided to attend their session held over lunch a few days later. The opening slide flashed up and I knew I was in the wrong place... "being a single RD" hahaha. I am not an RD. oops! At least the single part was right. :)
The planning of the conference tried to incorporate the arts. I am a huge fan of this, but unfortunately I was too immature for some of it. A radio personality man read an excruciatingly descriptive poem about nature... I don't know if it was the bellow of his voice or all the frogs hippity hopping; but I just picked a spot, bit my lip and focused on not chuckling.
One of my fave plenary session speakers was Donna Feitas. She was so interesting and candid and funny- pretty much I want to be her when I grow up. :)
Thursday, June 2, 2011
I feel happy of myself!
It is incredible how happy this video has made me today.... This child is beyond precious!
<a href="http://www.msn.com/?from={from}&amp;videoId=8742ea06-7cae-4c02-983e-69790aa88d0f&amp;from=mmv_mmv_en-US&amp;fg=hub_hpvideo2" target="_new" title="Kid Conquers Challenge And Thinks You Can Too!">Video: Kid Conquers Challenge And Thinks You Can Too!</a>
Friday, May 20, 2011
You Sexy Thing!
Sara and I spent a good portion of our afternoon walking around Grand Rapids’ eastown district. We browsed through cooking stores and thrift shops and grabbed a latte. We went to a bookstore and visited a few art galleries. The sun was out and we were just slightly warm- it was fantastic!
As we were making our way home, a handful of men on bikes passed us. Once we made eye contact, they tooted their horns at us. Something about the whole experience made me laugh for about a block…bike horns are not usually what I imagine the “smooth operators” using.
I’m excited to spend a few days here on vacation with such a good friend who knows me well. Already we are building a wealth of stories!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Red Badge of Courage
In general, I like to think of myself as a brave person, but what I am about to tell you pushes the limits even for me…
Sunday was Elizabeth & Sean’s wedding. I was the bridesmaid in a watermelon colored dress that was a bit to snug and I was feeling uncomfortable. BUT a journey song started playing and I really wanted to dance. This scenario presents 2 problems:
1. I don’t know how to dance… and
2. I had no one to dance with
So I marched over to the group of groomsmen standing on the edge of the dance floor and asked if any of them would dance with me….cuz I really loved the song. And, one of them did! We rocked back and forth in a circle a couple times- talked while I gestured wildly with my hands- pretty much as good as one can hope for right?
I know it might sound pathetic, but there was a part of me that was expecting an awkward rejection based on my well endowed thighs and was relieved to find that wasn’t the case. It took more courage than I’d like to admit, but I’m adding it to my list of reality vs. hypothetical fears. Check!
Sunday was Elizabeth & Sean’s wedding. I was the bridesmaid in a watermelon colored dress that was a bit to snug and I was feeling uncomfortable. BUT a journey song started playing and I really wanted to dance. This scenario presents 2 problems:
1. I don’t know how to dance… and
2. I had no one to dance with
So I marched over to the group of groomsmen standing on the edge of the dance floor and asked if any of them would dance with me….cuz I really loved the song. And, one of them did! We rocked back and forth in a circle a couple times- talked while I gestured wildly with my hands- pretty much as good as one can hope for right?
I know it might sound pathetic, but there was a part of me that was expecting an awkward rejection based on my well endowed thighs and was relieved to find that wasn’t the case. It took more courage than I’d like to admit, but I’m adding it to my list of reality vs. hypothetical fears. Check!
Oooooohhhhhh….
Tonight the Jr. Higher’s were asking if there was a different God for each country- an India God, an Africa God, etc. When I told them that there is only one God they wanted to know what color he was. We talked about how God is a Spirit, but Jesus had a body. I explained that Jesus was born in Israel so he probably had some of those common middle eastern features…..
In a moment of innocent revelation, one of them exclaimed, “Oooooooooooohhhhh…… so he looked like the people that work at Subway!”
In a moment of innocent revelation, one of them exclaimed, “Oooooooooooohhhhh…… so he looked like the people that work at Subway!”
GLUM
Most things in my life have been great- my job, my family, my new roommate, step class, Bible Study with the Jr. High girls, etcetera, etcetra….
Despite all those good things I’ve been enjoying, I have also been battling with this inner turmoil since Christmas. (Probably why my posts have been anecdotal and overall lame this year…sorry friends).
This inner turmoil largely has to do with trusting that I am loved (or a lack of trusting would be more appropriate). It all started with a sticky situation with a friend, but has ended with me realizing that this fear is a symptom of a more foundational need.
The love of God is a fairly basic theological assumption and truth, I realize, but it’s also something that I come back to again and again with difficulty. Even though I wouldn’t own up to this on a statement of faith, the Lord has revealed a deep mistrust of the enduring faithfulness and affectionate nature of His love for me.
For far too long I have been translating the love of God as His pity for my finite spiritual state and attributing His generosity to His “fair” nature – that He only loves me because He is God and He loves the whole world. That His love would fade and be revealed as just an obligation- an obligation He would resent and grow weary of. I didn’t want to depend too much on the security of His love if He was only going to remove it once He saw my lack of improvement. I’ve harbored this terror of being abandoned by God and by others for such a long time that it started to seem true and normal. And yet in His graciousness, God painfully revealed this dark place in me.
My theology convinces me that the Lord is not the one I need to be concerned about – instead I need to learn to believe and trust His truth in a way that goes beyond the facts. I need to experience His love in my real life and be assured that these significant eternal truths are not just for the future or the spiritual realm only, but they are a part of my everyday reality. I’ve been asking the Lord to replace the fear and expectation I have of being abandoned with His delight instead.
Awhile ago I blogged about being at a coffee shop doing a word study about “delight”. I can say that the results were so different from what I expected but also caused a swelling of hope in me. I expected to find fluffy words about how the Lord thinks I’m beautiful and great and made me special…. but instead I found that the Lord delights in His Word, in His Law, in blamelessness, in the prayer of the upright, in loving-kindness and righteousness. Those who put their delight in the Lord are not put to shame. Over and over again these verses demonstrate the value of delighting in God above anything else. The themes of obedience, truthfulness and waiting on Him have been transforming my perspective lately of what it looks like to delight in God.
Learning on this topic and receiving the healing offered is FAR from over, but I feel in a less fragile enough place to share these words and experiences. God has not failed me….instead through this pain and struggle, I have found the hope and security I am always longing for!
Despite all those good things I’ve been enjoying, I have also been battling with this inner turmoil since Christmas. (Probably why my posts have been anecdotal and overall lame this year…sorry friends).
This inner turmoil largely has to do with trusting that I am loved (or a lack of trusting would be more appropriate). It all started with a sticky situation with a friend, but has ended with me realizing that this fear is a symptom of a more foundational need.
The love of God is a fairly basic theological assumption and truth, I realize, but it’s also something that I come back to again and again with difficulty. Even though I wouldn’t own up to this on a statement of faith, the Lord has revealed a deep mistrust of the enduring faithfulness and affectionate nature of His love for me.
For far too long I have been translating the love of God as His pity for my finite spiritual state and attributing His generosity to His “fair” nature – that He only loves me because He is God and He loves the whole world. That His love would fade and be revealed as just an obligation- an obligation He would resent and grow weary of. I didn’t want to depend too much on the security of His love if He was only going to remove it once He saw my lack of improvement. I’ve harbored this terror of being abandoned by God and by others for such a long time that it started to seem true and normal. And yet in His graciousness, God painfully revealed this dark place in me.
My theology convinces me that the Lord is not the one I need to be concerned about – instead I need to learn to believe and trust His truth in a way that goes beyond the facts. I need to experience His love in my real life and be assured that these significant eternal truths are not just for the future or the spiritual realm only, but they are a part of my everyday reality. I’ve been asking the Lord to replace the fear and expectation I have of being abandoned with His delight instead.
Awhile ago I blogged about being at a coffee shop doing a word study about “delight”. I can say that the results were so different from what I expected but also caused a swelling of hope in me. I expected to find fluffy words about how the Lord thinks I’m beautiful and great and made me special…. but instead I found that the Lord delights in His Word, in His Law, in blamelessness, in the prayer of the upright, in loving-kindness and righteousness. Those who put their delight in the Lord are not put to shame. Over and over again these verses demonstrate the value of delighting in God above anything else. The themes of obedience, truthfulness and waiting on Him have been transforming my perspective lately of what it looks like to delight in God.
Learning on this topic and receiving the healing offered is FAR from over, but I feel in a less fragile enough place to share these words and experiences. God has not failed me….instead through this pain and struggle, I have found the hope and security I am always longing for!
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