I'm glad you're a man...

THE PREFACE
Last week a fight broke out at the end of SLAM because a kid who came from the west side flashed a gang sign at a kid from Cabrini who represents a rival gang and it erupted! Everybody’s cousin jumped in to “help.” Thankfully there were staff people outside and broke it up quickly. Anyway, in the middle of the action are 2 staff guys I really respect. As I was leaving, they were still holding kids back by their wrists. I left feeling so thankful that they were there and strong enough to handle all that. And all week through different things have been impressed to pray for men to rise up to be a part of ending this crisis of kids without dads. (anyway… that could be its own post and may be someday soon…)

So I wanted to send a email to the 2 of them in appreciation for being out there and in general all that they do at SLAM. But then because one of them (who shall be called "Manly Man" in this post) is this tall balding, hairy unmarried beast of a man, I couldn’t justify it. I didn’t want to be manipulative and try to do some ridiculous version of ‘Christian encouragement’ in an attempt to pick up a guy. (been there, done that) SO… I very maturely refused to send an email or facebook message (though I will admit I drafted several). Especially after all the thoughts I was having about needing men in this ministry though- it felt stupid to not encourage someone. I went back and forth…

THE DEED
Monday night comes and Manly Man and I pass each other in the hall. I resist for a moment, then turn back and this is what happened…

ME: Hey Manly Man! Actually I wanted to say something to you
HIM: Yeah… what’s up?
ME: I don’t know if you remember me.. I’m Rachel (pointing at my name tag!) and I go to Dave’s church
HIM: Oh yeah yeah yeah.. Rachel right, OK
ME: Well, I was thinking about the fight last week and I didn’t really see it except I was leaving at the end and saw you guys in the middle of it…(TOTALLY OUT OF BREATH because I am nervous and lost a natural rhythm so now it sounds breathy)
ME CONT’D: Maybe you will think this is cheesy (deep GASP for breath!) (Also I am needing to clear my throat but I can only hear my Dad’s voice in my head saying how unladylike that is so I continue breathy and gritty to the end. )
HIM: OK… (cocks head to side and makes interested yet apprehensive face)
ME: I was thinking a lot about what you did, being there on the frontlines and all and getting in the middle of it and I am just really glad that you are a man.
(Panicking because I realize this sounds dumb and obvious)
ME CONT’D: And by that I mean, a man of God...(Overwhelmed by my inability to recover, I turn red and start saying a lot more things I don’t remember)
HIM: Oh, well that’s not cheesy at all. I was kinda worried about what you were gonna say, but no, that’s encouraging! I humbly receive that. Thanks!
ME: oh yeah… anytime.(wanting to have an actual conversation, but not knowing where to go from that… I look at my feet and he walks away)

THE CONCLUSION OF THE MATTER
It is funny. It really really is, please feel free to laugh your head and your tail off. I have been! But it also made me feel so inept and ridiculous. He probably has a girlfriend, so in this instance it's probably not that big of a deal. But how embarrassing to not be able to form decent sentences. ah! The LORD knows my marriage will be a testimony to the world that miracles do happen! Also, I could pick apart my motives all day long, but somewhere in the midst of all that hormone was a genuine desire to appreciate his “man-ness.”(Which is what I was planning to say and so thankful the Lord did not allow it past my lips. :) CAN YOU IMAGINE?“ Hey Buddy, I’m real thankful for your man-ness!” haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Maybe I could have quoted John Eldredge while I was at it: Thanks for giving of your strength… Do you find me captivating? haha. Oh dear!)

FAIL! EPIC FAIL!

What's NOT to love?

AIR GUITAR - the competitors have names like Sweatmaster Animal, Rocktopus, Nordic Thunder and Romeo DanceCheetah. What's not to love?

AIR GUITAR- the style is eccentric. Spandex is the first layer and then pile on top any mixture of patterns. Leopard print, pink fishnets, jean jackets, American flags, t-shirts with kitties, loin cloths; even a scalloped collar that lights up... whatever excites you. My fave from last night: jeans, bare chest (even without hair. haha.), suspenders! and a blazer. Be sure not to forget the accessories which included a sequined purple headband and belt. YES! AND SO I ASK YOU... What's not to love?

AIR GUITAR-it is pretty athletic. Lots of jumping while doing the splits and sliding on your knees. This is not for wimps my friends! In round 2 last night, Rocktopus climbed the lighting scaffolding and hung backwards while playing his air guitar. Flexibility... also important... check! And it's not just the performers either- in the audience you really have to be agile. At any moment there could be a man jumping off stage expecting to surf through the crowd or a drunken audience member who elbows you in the head.What's not to love?

AIR GUITAR - The host of this shin-dig was Bjorn Turoque (vocalized: Born to Rock). He intrigued me and if I could have made friends with someone; I would have picked him. He's a young soul, but knows his place in it all since he's older. What's not to love?

The opening act was a KISS wannabe girl band- If you can imagine that, congratulations. If not, I have pictures. The stage was cleared and then to kick off the event they played the theme song to Perfect Strangers! Everyone was singing it together and I was going crazy with excitement. From that point, to the end when a wet man in a loin cloth named Nordic Thunder won the championship I laughed my head off. What great time! I've heard rumors about this guy next year who is supposed to be really good. He goes by "Don of Rock." (wink!)

AIR GUITAR - It is not exactly a family friendly environment. I'm not endorsing all (or even most) of the life choices these people are making. It's the same mentality as any rock and roll musician, just without the hookup to the amp. Sex, Beer, Rock and Roll... kinda sad when you realize that's all some on this circuit are living for. Maybe I could be a missionary to the air guitar champions... or their chaplain! I say this in jest, but it really caused me to think alot (because my name is Rachel Monfette and nothing can be simply entertaining)!

Is it wrong to be so entertained and amused by the absurd? Secretly, I envy how un-apologetically they put themselves out there, how invincible they seem. It's such a fun concept, such a hysterical recreation, but unfortunately everything that gets included with it is real trashy. The glamor and the fame of it is seductive; no doubt about that. "Be your own hero" it whispers and then gives you an outrageous name and outfit to hide behind.

So maybe in a different life (with different parents) I would have been a Bjorn Turoque. Maybe I would have found myself competing on the world champion stage in FINLAND. Probably you can't see it and that doesn't offend me. I know that "hardcore" is not the first word that springs to mind when you think of me. I don't even own any version of punk clothes! In my heart though, I admit that I am so attracted to living a dual life like that; one of which is completely without rules or consequences because it's NOT REAL! For this reason, I could not be more grateful to a God Who sets some boundaries and by His grace helps me not to cross them... even if it does mean never reaching my full potential as an air guitarist! :) Also so grateful for the sense of humor He gave me to enjoy stuff like this totally sober. :) What's not to love?

Shamrock Shuffle 2010

Here's the thing...

When I came to college I packed in 6 rubbermaids and 2 suitcases. Each rubbermaid was marked with a number that corresponded to the same number list of the container contents. Granted I brought alot of the wrong things and looked like a transfer student in January when I came back to school, but the point is- I like order. And I like my life to be in order as much as my stuff. It is such a relief to know who you are and how you fit with those around you; to know where the lines are; to know what's black and what's white.

In my world without grey, I simultaneously believe that the earth is round... and that this ground is flat... OK, maybe that's a dumb example- I'll try again. I simultaneously believe that losing weight requires hard work and discipline... and A slurpee is a good way to relax after a long day at work... At first glance they don't seem related at all (and usually they don't go through my head one after the other like this anyway), but drink enough slurpees and suddenly they are very related.

It's like juggling, the trick is to keep every handkerchief moving and unaware of the others. You are mesmerized by the color and speed and pyrotechnics of the whole experience (well, there could be pyrotechnics!) Though it is complex and requires precision, juggling is much easier than the alternative.

The alternative is like making salad dressing. (Yes, you can thank me later for these killer analogies. haha) The vinegar and the oil are constantly separating and then you have to shake them back up to be of any use to your salad. It's tiring and annoying. Wouldn't it just be easier to make a dressing that stays mixed?! Sometimes my world (like the dressing) gets shook up. Suddenly all my simultaneously held beliefs are colliding. I see evil and it looks fun. I see hate and it seems noble. I see good and it looks brutal. I see hope and it looks disappointing. Or even not so extreme, I see two good choices and it is hard to pick one.

Last week I was browsing though Borders (looking at kids books, checking for any Chiam Potok books I do not already own, you know... the usual). Somehow I ended up in the religion section and found myself wondering if any of these had a better answer to this conundrum. You can {GASP!} if you like, but I don't think I am the only one who has ever been there. I am grateful to report that I walked away (tall) from any books with juggling strategies.

HERE'S THE THING: I simultaneously believe that I do not understand or at times even like this reality... and that nothing would taste better on a pecan crusted chicken and pear salad with goat cheese...

This entry is cute, but the realness of these collisions has brought me to tears on more than one occasion in the last month. And I have no solution- only that I have found comfort in the nearness of God and His people. Psalm 73 is one I have been reading alot. (Check out the link to a video by ALERT. It's real cool.)

the absurd

Drinking Dilemma. There is a drinking fountain at work that is in a main hallway. (fascinated yet? haha.) Today it was totally dismantled. Pipes and screws and o rings and every other kind of part all over it. Seems like the condition of the fountain should be simple for any passerby to deduce, yet just in case a sheet of loose leaf was marked "Out of Order" and put on top of it.

Scoping Soldier. I saw a man on the brown line platform waiting impatiently for his train. He was dressed in camouflage and looked like he had government issue backpack and boots. In an effort to see if the train was coming, he pulled out his scope and checked both directions. hahhaha. Who needs bus tracker when you have that?

Tanning Terror. This past weekend I found a dress for Genna's wedding. Thanks to Alli for getting me through David's bridal without crying, breaking something or making a terrible selection. ("Maybe I could just get a skit and then find something to go with it.") Anyway, the dress is clover and flowy and alot of back and arms- alot of my winter WHITE back and arms (oh-except for the cross on my back still courtesy of this past summer's burn). This caused me to want to go tanning so I went to Ultimate Exposure after work on Monday. Basically you can start laughing now, but I assure you that the name is only half the fun. After I asked the lady a bunch of questions and heard my Mom's voice very clearly in my head telling me to walk out, I got a 3 month membership. Would you believe that was cheaper that just 30 days? This super patient lady gives me goggles and a packet of tanning lotion- takes me to the room and shows me how to work the machine. I do my thing and get in the bed and then start to pull the cover closed and realize that my whole body is clenched in panic. I suddenly have visions of the lid getting locked shut, the machine burning me to a crisp like Larry and Beilke in that one episode of Perfect Strangers and dying. I left my hand sticking out a bit as a safety precaution, secure my goggles of the 50th time and turn on the bed. I am trying to relax... trying to believe Alli when she says that it will be a wonderful warm nap, but I am struggling. Now I am not only afraid of getting locked in, but also going blind- you have to admit, there are alot of intimidating signs around the place. You would have thought I was doing some kind of freaky version of the Hokey Pokey or Father Abraham- Hand out, eyes clamped shut, keep breathing, and count...
Oh yeah, I forgot to ask the lady how the timer issue works while I was still dressed so I was trying to count to the recommended 8 minutes in my head. :) I am happy to report that today was a bit better... still no day at the beach though.

Looking up that video of Perfect Strangers has caused a flood of my favorite childhood shows to surface and now I am hopelessly watching theme song videos to them:
Who's the Boss?
Step by Step
21 Jumpstreet
Growing Pains
My 2 Dads
Bosom Buddies
Night Court
Webster
Family Matters
Head of the Class
Silver Spoons
Full House
Alf
Blossom
Sister Sister
VR Troopers

I ain't no gold digger

I have a friend who is a concierge here in Chicago. A really good one too I might add! The perks that come with being a concierge are amazing and I only got a little taste of that last night. I think it would be most appropriate to tell you about the evening in song, so here goes nothing:


I ain't high class but I ain't white trash
This song was what played through my mind as I walked into Sunda. This place is classy... clean and elegant. Everyone swirling and sipping a glass of wine. Everyone is networking and adding contacts to their BlackBerry. All the women are wearing black dress boots with heels and discussing reality TV. Waiters are walking around handing out mini take out boxes of chicken salad, sushi, steak on a lemon something stick, tuna, shrimp eggrolls, miniature cookies and more wine! Here I am on the concierge's arm in the midst of all this; Sparkly shoes from payless, tan courdoroy jacket, all the items that would be in my purse in my pockets instead. The one thing I had going for me was that I had the presence of mind to shave my armpits in the shower. :) It would come up inevitably, but I was still off kilter when someone asked me what I do. Uhhhh. I work for Moody Bible Institute. haha. In the Residence Life office. hahaha. I answer nervous parent phone calls. hahahaha. "That's nice" they said and then turned to network with someone else. hahaha. I cannot blame them- I'm a nobody to them. They were nice- very nice, they could not help it I do not belong in that world!



Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..... I'm hungry (for you)
The food was delicous but came in very small portions. This left me feeling pretty hungry...I did get a gift bag upon leaving.... which included a sample size bottle of very expensive alcohol made from rice. That will be a nice regift. :)


Love me, love me say that you love me
I don't know that the lyrics as much as its association in the movie "HOT FUZZ" is why it came to mind, but this is how I felt at the play. It was Broadway in Chicago, but there was no way to enjoy it if you were over the age of 5. The actors tried- some of them had amazing voices and a few had great dance moves, but there's not a whole lot you can do with a bad storyline/script. I know it may sound harsh- like I am talking about something I know nothing of... and maybe I am. But the dialogue was so painful at times. The concierge and I spotted a few older women leaving the theatre in their FURS!!One of them which was bright red!!! Seriously, did they not know what 101 dalmations is about?!?! It felt good to laugh so hard... and try out some of the new dance moves we learned last night on the sidewalks of Chicago. :) We were inspired to "be a little bit braver... " hahahaha.


I'm Going Home (Michael Buble' or Daughtry... which ever version you prefer)
Before going home, I stopped by the friendly 7-11 and scored a hot dog and fro-co. This truly is where I belong and I wouldn't have it any other way.

It was like a Chicago Social Magazine picture come to life and it is fun sometimes to pretend you live the high life. I'm thankful to the concierge for indulging me in the pleasure of it.

HAPPY PACZKI DAY!

Some traditions, I wonder why they started and how they survived.
This one though I do not wonder about at all, ever- it is a wonderful celebration of sugar and lard and everything that is fatness. So glad to enjoy this day with friends. and make friends by bringing these to work to share. Check out this website about Paczki Day. It is so funny to me.

If you meet a Polish person, thank them for this day!

ENJOY!