Smooth Operator

From the outset of this post I will unashamedly admit that it WILL be embellished. :) They happened, but the souped up sitcom version of them in my head is definitely a better story.

Today on my lunch break I went to see Dr. Hockey. I was calm, cool and collected as usual. (relatively...you know) Besides the fact that I can't breathe out of one side of my nose and it makes me sound huskier than normal, I was feeling fine. When I got there, I got taken to the "B" room. You know- the one where they put the act that's opening for the main act. The one that doesn't have all the right stuff and paper towels are on the headrest- yeah... that one. The Asian Receptionist got me started on the stim machine. I got the party started by cracking a joke about having swine flu. Very predictable. He wanted to know if I had seen any good movies recently. For a moment I considered telling him that I had already seen the latest Zac Effron flick and I only go to the theatre for him. Instead I told him about Netflix-ing Selena. He couldn't remember anything about the movie except that J-Lo played the lead--- what is it with guys and J-Lo anyway? Then I asked him if he had seen any good movies. I was guessing he had one in mind he wanted to talk about. And he did. Star Trek! REWIND..... one more time...... Star Trek! The conversation ended with me making a joke about dressing up and being at the opening show- hopefully that was not seen as an invitation because I will not be there. So he left me to the stim machine... there was this music playing in the background that inspired me to look into ballerina school and I could hear that Blondie in the hall trying to act like she couldn't figure out her appt. for next week. "Oh Dr. Hockey- Help me... I am so dumb...Could you explain this calendar thingy to me?!" The music and the head cold won out though and in a moment, I was out! My own snoring woke me up about 8 minutes later. My face was hot and there was a curious drip...dripping on my hand. I realized it was FROM MY NOSE. Just call me Josie Gross-ie. Dr. Hockey came in just as I was using the paper towel to clean up my face. I actually had a ton of things I could've said to him: about Nova Scotia and the church getaway and the smell being gone in our apt (I will post more about this later). He was stressed though and not real talkative- he only asked an obligatory "How's it going?" and started cracking. Since the room didn't have the table that tilts he asked me to "follow him into the next room." Doesn't he know that I would follow him anywhere? :) The other room had a mirror in it and I could now see that I had a red ring on my face from being stuck in the hole of the table. Awesome! When I tried to tell him that I got information about Nova Scotia, my voice cracked and it sounded like I was drowning in phlegm. Probably too much information. He told me as I left that I should really go to Nova Scotia- I think that means he secretly wants to come with me. Maybe I'll bring along a netti pot though. Just in case.

Golden Girls

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatrice_Arthur

Well, I arrived at Fleet Feet totally intimidated, and with good reason. The smell of rubber smacks you in the face as you walk through the doors and all these people are walking around buying mini water bottle belts. I told Amy that if I ever get in good enough shape that I consider wearing one of those...TACKLE ME!Amy told me that right before I came in the "perfect" woman from work was there- Of course she was!Darren helped me find a shoe that fit comfortably. He has "princess and the pea" feet I guess. His shoes feel like he's "walking on pillows" he told us. He also told me that I slightly over-pronate... whatever that means. At the end he thanked me by name for shopping there. That's what you're paying for really; Twinkle Toes to remember your name! And no one found me out as an impostor... maybe I was born to be the next Mata Hari.... maybe... OR maybe no one cares if I don't know what I am doing because they all started like that too. Even Darren. :)

Amy and I had a great conversation over dinner mostly about holiness and the fear of God and some other things the Lord has been working over on both of us. So good. There was this really cute waiter.... wish Darren could have been there to help me remember his name. Here's a new strategy for flirting with your waiter: drink lots of water- like a camel- so that he has to come back and refill it all the time. Sadly, "thank you" is about as far as we got. He'll remember me though... of that I am sure- the most polite, thirstiest girl he ever served.

There was this olive oil and balsamic vinegar store that caught our eye so we went in to browse. They had 18 year old balsamic vinegar to sample-it was so sweet. This place with make great unique gifts if you are ever looking for that sort of thing. We also stopped in to an art gallery where everything was 50% off. The prices were still $500-1200, but it was fun to walk through and dream. It started pouring just before we were going to walk back, which suddenly made me regret how much water I had consumed. Apprently I am not a camel. Good to know. :)

When I got home, some fun was had. Mail was waiting for me addressed to DR. HOCKEY! Woah- how creepy is it that I am getting his mail now right?? Sorta. Actually, it was a copy of mail that my insurance company had sent Dr. Hockey about me. I recounted the Lady Liberty story to Joe. How he never heard that one- I don't know! And we watched Selena. Yes, that's right- the one with J-Lo. Don't be jealous- I know you love her too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTgxHJMdvoI

So overall, not a bad day--- even if Bob Carlisle did kick it off with "Butterfly Kisses."

Shot to the Heart

Nature! The great outdoors! What a gift! I was gone for Church Retreat this weekend. I can be such a fuddy duddy sometimes. Before I leave for a trip it is with much apprehension. I gotta pack a bag and sleep someplace new and blah, blah, blah. It always seems like such a hassle until I get to the destination and then I'm good, so glad I went, blah, blah, blah. :)

This weekend despite my apprehension I sucked it up, packed my bag and went on Church Retreat. It was such a blast! Saturday night we played the Amazing Race. My team had the worst cheer... well, we liked it but the judges sure didn't. In the end though we emerged victorious!!! I have always wanted to be on the Amazing Race so that was a dream come true to win. The only sad part was that Phil wasn't there at the end to tell us we were the first team to arrive and "as the winner's of this leg of the race we had won a trip from Travelocity to" someplace exotic. :) We also had a crazy fun campfire where the director came to make us popcorn from this big black kettle over the fire. We sang worship songs for awhile and some of the teens were dancing. It was such a refreshing time! There is just something about going to bed smelling like campfire, something about washing my hair with bar soap all weekend, something about staying up so late playing Spades, something about being constantly barefoot that really does it for me! :)

Dave shared his heart for us to fall in love with Jesus as individuals and as a church. We discussed as a body what that means and doesn't mean. After each session there was a time for us to be alone and spend time in the word. It felt like I was at Jr. high camp- you know, that one time I didn't do CEF in the summer. Even at CEF camp though, we would have scheduled time to be alone with Jesus. Usually I found myself annoyed that someone was telling me when to do that or balking at the idea of being forced to do what everyone else was doing. Man, I was a brat! hahaha. This weekend though I was so grateful and really viewed it as a gift. Hooray for growing up! I even found myself loving the idea that we were all simultaneously in the LORD's presence.

As I sat on the steps of the back porch of the lodge, similar moments started to drift back to me. Moments with my Bible and Journal spending time with Jesus out in nature. Moments at Jr. high camp when I was freaking out over whether I was saved or not because I didn't know if I "meant my prayer enough." Moments at CEF Camp when I thought I would be too consumed with fear to do anything. Moments at RA retreat when I thought I would die if I couldn't be with this one man. There were more, but you get the idea. I have truly, known the Lord's faithfulness to me. I have stories upon stories of school bills being paid and children being saved and fears being conquered and idols being smashed and protection being granted and healing experienced, etc. I love these stories and yet this weekend I felt the Lord nudging me that there was more to Him than His faithfulness. No doubt a fave, but still there is more. There is His holiness. OUCH! Yeah- the implications of that truth ... not so fave! Do I really fear God as I should? I don't think so. So often I think about God the way I do about Baloo from The Jungle book. He's a big bear I should be afraid of at first glace, but then you get to know him and so you're not because you know He's a big softie. Oftentimes, it seems I think that because I am God's child and have His favor through the blood of Christ Jesus, I don't know to recognize His power except to help me, to rescue me, to protect me, to make my life path clear to me.... How incredibly dense to think that God's power is for my convenience alone! This is still in process... any of your thoughts on the topic would be welcome.

This morning I woke up with "Butterfly Kisses" playing in my head. ICK! Pretty sure the only thing that could possibly make 7am worse is if Bob Carsile is singing a sappy song to you. Wonder what I was dreaming about.... Hm. I thought that was a sign that today was gonna be rough, but as it turns out- it's been fine.

I have felt a bit nauseous all day though. In just a few minutes I am going to meet some friends at Fleet Feet. It's a store I have walked by many times and yet never (like never ever ever ever ever ever ever times infinity) planned to darken the doorstep. It's an athlete's store. One where you can buy things for running specifically. I don't belong in a store like that! I have been panicking thinking of me walking in and everyone somehow "knowing" that I am a fake, an impostor, a spy. What they would do to me if I was to be discovered ... I don't know! But the thought of being exposed for what I "really am" is enough to scare me. Every lie I've ever believed about my weight and how that affects my identity has resurfaced today. Every shirt I tried on this morning seemed to cling to me in the wrong places. It will be OK. I am not going there with the intention of becoming Jackie Joyner Kersee or anything crazy like that. I just want to be more active and that's hard to do in flip flops.... I want to invest in something so I have no excuses about following through with what I should be doing.

I'll let you know how it goes...

Gays, Lesbians and Nova Scotia

Today I am having an Amelia Bedelia kind of day. Seriously, just now I was standing at the elevator and pressed the down button accidentally because I was thinking "I want the elevator to come down to me!" O Dear.

Yesterday there was a giant envelope stuffed in my mailbox. The constant optimist; I immediately thought it was Kaitlyn's and when I saw my name, I was certain it was fashion bug coupons or something. :) I didn't open it right away- it was just sitting there on our table while I rushed around putting away laundry and talking to Megan. (Megan came over to make cookies, do homework and burn incense. Our apartment now smells like a mixture of sewer and Native American burial ground. Awesome. Well, we tried!)

Megan and I had a great conversation about gay and lesbian friends. When I first came to Chicago I can honestly say that I was afraid of people who were homosexual. Not afraid they would do something to me-- but afraid to interact with them, to love them. Maybe it's because I grew up in a small town/farm community where that was not OK to talk about, maybe because I just like hairy rugged men so so much, maybe because I thought my sin was better than anyone else's, maybe I thought that's what God would do to preserve His reputation...I don't know. Anyway, I had this one friend pray for me specifically that I would get over it. Thanks, Jaimie!

About 3 years ago I met this man, William, who was homeless at the time. He asked for money to get something to eat. I was hungry anyway so I asked him to have lunch with me. We had Whoppers at Burger King (which is now a 5/3 Bank- sad!) and talked. He told me openly that he was gay and had AIDS and had trouble finding a job or a place to live partly because of that. By the time that lunch was over, I had grown in compassion and then we went our separate ways. About a week later, I was walking from the "el" and this man in front of me started convulsing. He was a big man- 6'5" and stocky build. He fell to the ground and was foaming at the mouth. People just kept walking by, looking at this man like he was a spectacle and when I called for someone to help- the only person that responded was William! For some reason that blew my little black and white brain to smitherines. Here I had been casting him as this "bad man" character and then he was doing a good thing. I was/am totally humbled. Lesson learned? Life is more complex... people are much more complex than the one dimensional, black and white world I would like to live in that only makes sense on paper.

I still believe that God intended romantic relationships, marriage and sex to be between and man and a woman. But I refuse to let my fear make homosexuals out to be monsters. I refuse to forget 1 Corinthians 6:9-11: "Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."

So finally, I remembered about the envelope and ripped it open. Inside was a guide to visiting NOVA SCOTIA! Giddy is not doing my emotions justice. I spent a large portion of the rest of my night planning a trip- or 12 trips to that glorious land where Anne of Green Gables is from. I'm gonna go- I know I always say that I'm gonna do things and often don't, but I have never wanted to go someplace so badly in my life. Here's my dream place. Part of me thinks it would be so fun to go with a friend (or my chiropractor :) hahaha just kidding!)- someone to share in all that beauty. Another part of me thinks it would make a great retreat- to get away on my own and allow the Lord to draw me close through His fantastic creation. I'm going though..... as soon as I save up some dollars.

Always Surprised

Somehow I am always surprised at how opinionated I am.

Today there was this luncheon with employees who are alum of the Institute. The Student Development Audit Committee brought us together to ask us about our experience with Student Development in our time as students.

Maybe this makes me a total nerd but I live for this kind of think-tank/question and answer environment. Especially when it comes to making systems run well- and helping improve them. Words like 'discuss' and 'process' are my friends. It seems that the better an understanding you have of something (or someone for that matter), the more you can be flexible and make wise adjustments. Anyway- maybe it's vain, but I love thinking that my input can help.

Today around the table in the Northfield room, eating my turkey and cheese from a boxed lunch, trying not to chew louder than the guy next to me was talking- I was in my glory. The Audit Committee asked a question about the vision for the institute. It was interesting to hear several of the other alums say that they were waiting to hear the President's vision for the school. And then there was me. hahahahha.

As I started to speak, the camera lens softened, swelling patriotic music started playing and by the end of my speech my arm was raised like the statue of liberty declaring, "I want to see bravery! I want to see radical obedience!" The committee was probably thinking, "uhhhhh...... Cut!" I wasn't taking myself super seriously- like I really am not the vision everyone should listen too. But I did have one... and I had thought about it before this meeting. I don't think that's normal. :)

Other things I never cease to be surprised by:

1. How memorable my trips to the chiropractor are usually.
This week I wasn't feeling well when I went and was having trouble with making small talk. The Asian Receptionist came in get me started and this is about how it went:
Asian Receptionist: Did you have a good weekend?
Me: Yeah
Asian Receptionist: What did you do?
Me: I cleaned. Tried to find this mystery smell in our apartment. Maybe something died in the wall.
Asian Receptionist: Is that all you did?
Me: Oh no. I did some fun stuff too. (blanking on what I did at all)
Asian Receptionist: Like what?
Me: Ummm. Went to a movie with a friend (not anticipating his obvious next question)
Asian Receptionist: What movie?
(Long pause as I try to come up with how to spin the fact that me and my old college roommate went to see Zac Effron in "17 Again")
Me: 17 Again (sheepishly)
Asian Receptionist: oh. (shocked and slightly amazed- probably not really, but...)
Me: Yeah, I took some little girls I know....
THIS IS A TOTAL LIE! Ridiculous! I am not proud of this, but it is a funny story. I totally panicked and that's what came out and then I had to stick with it because- who lies about Zac Effron movies?? Seriously. I then coached myself for when Dr. Hockey came in. "Rachel, when he asks you how your weekend was... DO NOT under any circumstances mention the movies or Zac Effron or phantom little girls... !!!!!!"

2. How much fun it is hanging out with Justin, Joe and Liz.
Last night we went to Justin's new place. It is incredible! I tried real hard not to be impressed, but alas- I was. It was Justin's 25th birthday. We sang him Happy Birthday, he blew out the imaginary candles, ate cake and played Taboo. We had a pretty intense competition, which I am proud to report- the girls won! One very fine moment is Elizabeth trying to describe doorbell to me. I got both the words but for some reason I was having trouble putting them together. "Door knocker, ring door, ring the bell at the door, knock bell, ............!"

3. How I can NEVER get to bed before Midnight.

A Cabin Called "Are you kidding me?"

CLICK HERE and then choose the song "A CABIN CALLED LONELY"

I got this song recently from a friend. She had received it from her missions team leader. He thought she might want to curl up on a lonely night with chocolate and dream about Prince Charming coming to whisk her away. It was meant well but seemed to further illustrate the suspicions from the last post. Thought I would throw it up here not as evidence, but as pure entertainment. There's about 4 verses and with each one you think it can't get any more ridiculous------- and then it does! :)

C'mon, What could be more healthy than living solitary away from the city, having no friends except the trees and waiting for a king who will wisk her away from her lonely existence? Ladies, Not every man who gives you a ride on his brown steed is the one! Once you l.isten to the song you'll know how warranted the sarcasm is. Do people think that this may in some way reflect singles experience? REALLY? … li li li li li li li li li li li! Hahahahhahahahha

"Candlelight Dancing" is the next track on the CD- hmmmmmm. A sequel?

Split Infinity

Does anyone know this movie? It's a Christian Homeschooler classic where this girl who is self focused goes back in time only to find out what it means to be part of a family and the joy there is in giving back to others. Inspiring! :) OK, I mock a little.... you gotta love the part when the teacher keeps calling her a "brazen hussie" because she went to school in the 1940's wearing long underwear and an oversize sweater. hahahahhahaha. "Hussie..... Brazen Hussie!" Made by the same people who brought you "The Buttercream Gang." Anyway, I thought of this because I feel like a split personality today. Maybe I need a visit to "Future World" to straighten some things out!

In the past few years I have grown so much in thinking about things in a more integrated way. Watching the movie "Crash" rocked my world. Characters who are good, do bad things and; characters who are bad, do good things- what?? Reality is revolutionary! :) I feel like a split personality because I am back to thinking so black and white today. I'm sure there is a good reason why that's happening today-maybe my inability to control the stench in the apartment is coming out in my need to understand and control something else. hahahahha. Probably not, but something like that.

Last night I helped with this event for the female students at Moody. It was a night of pampering- manicures, facials, massages. It was such a great idea to have a time for the girls to relax since this time in the semester can get so overwhelming. I was at the massage station and not planning to stay for the speaker. The topic was "Love, Sex and Dating" and the Lord knows I have heard PLENTY of those in my lifetime. When it came time for the pampering to end and the message to begin, there was still a line of girls a mile long for a massage. So I stayed for the speaker and gave massages to the girls still waiting while she was speaking. I was cool with giving the massages, but grumpy about having to endure another woman telling us to be content and not give into sexual temptation. It's not that I am above temptation- but I can't even get a guy to ask me out on a date- I think my chastity is pretty safe for now! Anyway, the woman who spoke was totally different than I was expecting. She was funny and bold and honest and cool. She told her story about the Lord's faithfulness to her and consequently how she met her husband of only 6 months. Basically she made a vow of singleness for 7 years- until she was 27! Then in year 6 God brought a man into her life and they just got married in November and their first kiss was on their wedding day. It was different than the usual purity rally because her point was not, "I did this and then I got a man like I wanted all along." Instead it was more like, "Look at how God brought me through to where I am now." It was refreshing and I found myself so thankful for this story the Lord had given her; a powerful testimony of waiting on God that she can now use to share with teens and college students all around Chicago.

OK, here's the thing though... the cynic in me is crying: "OF COURSE she met him in year 6!" It is the 'perfect ending.' Obviously the Lord was orchestrating this thing perfectly because she got married at the end, right? If the story was ".... my 7 year vow ended and I am single- still waiting on the Lord," do you think it would be so popular? Probably not. Because we all wanna be her- imagine ourselves in her place... the fuel to our waiting is that in the end..... Prince Charming shows up.

This woman was in no way disillusioned- she even mentioned that it was a possibility that it would just be her and the Lord. She had wrestled and come to terms with that; so I am not saying she was feeding us with fanciful stories- she was for real. Her story was outstanding and I would not dare diminish how great it is that God showed up in provision for her at just the right moment. That is a story of God's faithfulness. It is unique and Spirit led. It ought to be told and celebrated.

But the dark twin in me is afraid of celebrating that. Why? Because I don't have a story like that? Well, I'm totally sure that's part of it. My own selfishness and impatience rising to the surface rearing their ugly heads. However, there's something else to it that goes beyond my self righteous pity. It bothers me that when we hear stories like that, we expect that things will turn out for us like that. I wonder, is that really good? Is it really good to fill your head with stories (even true ones) where there's a bride and groom on a white horse riding off into the sunset at the end? God is still the same generous, faithful God before she was married as after. And had she not met this guy- God would have continued to provide for her. It just doesn't feel like a complete story without some kind of climax. "And then I got married!" It's like the Children of Israel in the desert eating Manna. What a miracle that God provided that bread every day for them! But that's not what we talk about- we talk about that one time he struck the rock and water came gushing out. And I'm not saying that's bad------ it's a glorious miracle, but is it more glorious than the manna miracle they saw every day? Maybe this sounds like a bitter single girl, but I hope not. That's not how I feel. I just feel conflicted.

Sometimes it seems like the church is a little to black and white on this issue and needs a visit to "future world"themselves. It seems to me that in celebrating marriage we inadvertently sacrifice the value of being single. And I would say that vice versa is also true. Usually when singleness is celebrated it ends up sounding like the nicest feminist rally ever. Why do we have to celebrate one or the other? Can't they both be great? If I can steal from Brian Reagan for a minute---- "Grape or Cherry... Both favorite..." Speaking from my own experience, it would sure be great to have some women role models who are single. To hear from them how they deal with making decisions on their own, what their role is in their church, how they view their authority structure, how they deal with loneliness, what they do about their sexuality. Instead what I usually get is, "Don't worry- you'll meet someone." "The one is out there- he'll come along soon." I appreciate the effort, but is that the best we can come up with? That unfortunately that is so unhelpful. I'm concerned that we take these success stories of true love waited for and found; and then turn it into the script of our lives. We set ourselves up in a holding pattern waiting for something to happen based on a promise we have never received from the Lord- only the well meant assurances of older married women who don't know what else to tell us. And I don't claim to know exactly where that line is. I am single, but I may not be forever. I hope to get married someday- that's natural. It's a good gift from the Lord that should be desired. But it shouldn't be desired to bring "inspiration and meaning to your life" like the Chicago song puts it, you know? It doesn't dimish your effectiveness for the kingdom or undercut your beauty/character to be single. It shouldn't.

Ministry to singles in the church seems to revolve around getting us involved in childcare, talking about sexual purity and introducing us to other singles. Maybe the church thinks that singleness threatens the "focus on the family." Maybe in this age of child protection policy, we don't know what to do with a single man who wants to volunteer with the children's ministry. Maybe it's an issue moreso with women- what do we do with a woman who is strong, independent and opinionated; instead of one that is exhausted and chasing children around? Whatever the hold up- We need to figure it out! There's alot of singles in churches all across America right now who are missing out on living their life now because they are hung up waiting for this mysterious "One" to arrive. There's alot of singles all across America right now who are missing out on rich relationships with people in the church because they are only ever directed to meet other singles who think liek them. There's alot of singles in churches across America right now who think they are not as valuable as other married couples their age. That's not OK. Example: This is totally a personal soapbox, but showers........ seriously?? Who invented those things? I get that it helps to share the financial burden of filling a new home with stuff, but you only get one if you get married. Apparently, only couples want to eat off of nice dishes. Apparently, only couples have the privilege of matching towels. Apparently, only couples can be celebrated moving into a new phase of life.

I don't want dishes- PLEASE don't hear me saying that! What I would really love is for people to think of my life as legit without having to convince them of that. What I would really love is not to be pitied. What I would really love is to be treated like I am complete. Dating, Love, Marriage, Sex- all huge topics with people my age. It's the stage of life and I know I have alot to learn on all of these. However, if you can't tell-- I am real passionate about this singleness issue. I want girls to know that God is writing their story........... not necessarily their love story though and definitely not just their love story. I want to see single women telling their stories of God's faithfulness too. Let's celebrate the diversity of our marital status, not just the color of our skin or the difference in our age. Single or Married-- We are all necessary members of ONE BODY.

Specifically for women. We train our girls that they are princess' from an early age. And I'm cool with that-I love the princess stories. We have a ton of literature on the princess waiting for the prince storyline, but what about the princess' relationship with the King? That relationship endures whether a prince comes along or not. Just a thought.

RUFFLES

Everywhere that Rachel went; her ruffles were sure to go!

(Not sure why but apparently I am all about putting myself in to nursery rhymes lately)

Ruffles went with me to chapel:

Today was a big day.......

It was at least for this little group of people invested in the Moody Bible Institute. The 9th president was announced. The big reveal - I've been referring to it as. It was not Dwight Edwards as I had so so so hoped. Alas, God had other plans... Dr. Paul Nyquist. I don't know him at all. I haven't met him. In fact, I couldn't even really see him that well because I was sitting in the very last row of the auditorium. He seemed to be genuinely humble. Totally appreciated the way he said he was going to spend the first few months as a learner and when it was over stood back with his family to take in the moment, not in the limelight to soak up the applause. And he made a joke about Ed Cannon's hair which was enough to win my affection! kinda pathetic, I know. :) hahahaha. He will be an aggressive learner though and I am so looking forward to his coming vision and leadership. And he likes people- which is HUGE. He remembered my boss' name which we were both very impressed with.

On a comedic note: There was regularly scheduled programming (chapel) right before the announcement. So the board and the trustees and the VP's and everybody came in right before the big reveal. As the suits were filing in; all I could think was "here comes the Fuzz." And then Jerry Jenkins got up there to make the announcement and it hit me: He totally looks like Diego from Ice Age!

Do you see it?

(Disclaimer: Maybe this is too corporate for the blog, but I just want to say that I totally respect and appreciate ALL that Jerry Jenkins does for this school. His support, faithfulness and leadership is outstanding. I just couldn't help but notice there was some similarities in his face structure... that's all!)

Ruffles went with me to Dr. Hockey:

Dr. Hockey was looking so fine today- he had the scruff going for him. I was also looking fine today. Confession: maybe I spent an extra 1/2 hour getting myself together this morning. I even wore tinted lip gloss instead of clear. Serious business here folks! He was totally distracted by this blondie that came in right before me though and I spent most of my time with Dr. Asian Receptionist. S-A-D! All I can think is that maybe he had a traumatic experience with ruffles as a child........maybe.

Ruffles went with me to Lush:

No, it's not "Old Country Buffet" for alcoholics. It's a homemade soap store. I bought a 3 step facial routine and got a free lotion. The girl who helped me was the most outstandingly cheerful person ever and well she ought to be because I was in the mood to let her sell me just about the whole store. So check out my face sometime- hopefully it will be radiant.

Ruffles went with me all over downtown:
When I got off the "el" I couldn't bring myself to go indoors- it was such a glorious day. The kind of day I wish I had a tent, a whole lot of days off and a car to get me to someplace ruggedly beautiful.... quick! I didn't have an agenda. Just walked around exploring, letting the red hand or the white man decide where I turned. On one of the red hands, some lights were burnt out and so it looked like it was flashing I love you in sign language. I ended up at Walgreens to buy some bleach for our smelly little apartment. Seriously, the stench is KILLING me. The land-lady came up today and I showed her the cabinet and the wood where the mysterious odor is coming from. She is sure that it is tuna or cat food. Hmmm. That's strange ----- we don't have either! Any suggestions? Miracle cleaning salves? An old Polish grandma who can figure it out?

Today a girl asked me about my thoughts on the future and feeling about the present. (i.e.- what are you doing with your life and are you good with that?) It was interesting to see how my response has changed from this anxious script of it "being a temporary job" and justifying it by saying how quickly I'm outta here. The Lord has been teaching me so much in this time of my life. I know that I would hate to miss out on that. I do still want to be involved with missions in the future (just FYI for those of you I fear are judging); however the Lord has been convicting me about my tainted motives. I'm a pretty black and white person- ok, I'm a TOTALLY black and white person. So it would be much easier for me to live either a totally lavish life or a totally desolate one. Living in moderation and having self-control balanced with generosity and trust in the Lord requires walking in the Spirit. That sounds noble, but it's hard for me. What does it look like to depend on the Lord when there is enough money in my bank account? How do you trust God to meet your needs when the fridg is full? Where is your reliance on the Lord when you are walking around in ruffles?

Top 5

Top 5 reasons today was great:
5. I saw Jerry Jenkins wearing blue jeans.
4. I found a Sholom Aleichem finger puppet/magnet and bought it for my Jewish Lit. Professor.
3. Chapel with Dr. Tim Sisk. The man was on fire with the Spirit, delivering such a convicting call to compassion and prayer.
2. I went with my friend to purchase "Everybody Poops" in Japanese.
1. I got a voicemail today from Dr. Hockey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(OK, so I called the office to reschedule my appointment for tomorrow, but no one answered so I left a message and he called me back himself!!!!!!!!)


#4. Sholom.

Home Again, Home Again - Jiggity Jig!

To market, to market

to buy a fat pig

Home again, home again

jiggity jig!

Is there anymore to that rhyme???

Seems like there should be............

Tuesday night I flew home for the Easter week celebrations. I had taken a cab to the airport in Chicago. (I know I could take CTA, but given my track record with them- I was not about to mess with that.) I met the nicest old man though driving the cab. His name was Ricardo. He used to be shy but now he talks too much. He said being a cabbie brought him out of his shell and that if I wanted him to stop talking he would. He had a bunch of stories and reminded me of my grandpa- a Mexican version. He was telling me how he had not gone to school because of family problems but all of his children had gone to school and someday he would finish and get the certificates and be so proud to see his name. We talked about Moody a little and how I had studied there to teach people in other countries about the Bible. He was intrigued by this and we talked about true faith. It was encouraging. On the flight, I sat next to a man who was in his 30's and had not flown much. He was scared and I did all but hold his hand on the landing. Admittedly, it was rougher than normal, but he was holding on to the seat in front of him like it was his job. Poor little fella!

Home was fun and as always- full of delicious food and treats. (Seriously, I am afraid of Darlene and the scale tonight.... dom da dom da--- dom!) I got to see my puppies... I love them. The basement was my Mom's "newest" project. It is a project 20+ years in the making- this may be the time they finish it for real though. ;) We have an organ (don't ask me why) and a pool table in our basement that don't get a whole lot of use so my Mom decided that they were going to the curb. They are super heavy so we left them in a pile at the bottom of the stairs for my Dad and my sister's boyfriend to carry out. Seeing the strain coming up the stairs put on them my Mom came up with an alternate plan for getting the oversize items to the end of the driveway- hook them to a tow rope and drag them down with the mini-van! So that's what we did:

I have not felt like I belonged in the country more than in those moments.

This is our curb:
1 organ
1 pool table
1 toy plastic spring horse
4 cubicle walls and
4 desk chairs later
hahahaha!
You will not believe it but someone actually took the horse and pool table.
"You know you're a redneck if........"

In that same vein, we also patronized the local Sam's Club.

This is an amazing place where everything is in bulk.
It's a dream come true for my family. I am joking, but yet I am not.
Here's us with our 2 carts.... that's right 2!

Besides all the "hick"-esque things we did while I was home, it was so great to celebrate Easter with my family. It is my fave holiday! I love that Jesus conquered all that darkness and is alive... I love that He's real and here... right now! There is this Storykeepers movie that has become tradition to watch on Easter (2 of my sisters hate it, but I try to pretend they are just kidding). I have seen it alot of years but it always makes me cry. Ben the Baker is too cool. I love that he sacrifices his chance for escape just so he has the chance to tell this evil Roman soldier the "rest of the story." No matter what my sisters say-- that's the power of the gospel and it thrills me.
Not to mention I think short, pudgy bakers are super cute. :)

We colored eggs together trying a new technique with rubber bands. I saw it on someone's facebook and thought it would be a good idea- I feel like we were missing part of the skill. We were just making a mess! We played Clue and I am proud to say that I beat my Dad. Introduced my sisters to "Girls just want to have fun." They were less amused with it than I anticipated!
SAD! They just could appreciate it's raw comedic form the way Alli and I could I guess. And I bought some new clothes; a shirt with ruffles! A shirt which I had made fun of and swore I would never buy, and yet tomorrow I am debuting it at the Chiropractor's.

On Sunday after church I went to Speedway and purchased the LARGEST Fro-Co they had to offer. For those amateurs, that is Frozen Coke. What a delicious treat! Not having pop was so humbling lent. It would seem a simple task and yet I need the Lord's help- even for this small thing. I cannot even imagine the things that Christ gave up in order to make salvation free to me. Things far better than Fro-co's.

To Michigan, to Michigan
to see the family
To Chicago again, Chicago again
to reckon with Darlene!

Many Much Mornings and Bizarre Umbrellas

Today has been a strange one. I woke up at the equivalent to 2:40am Chicago time and have still not rested. This morning I got up at my house in Michigan- my Dad drove me to the airport (bless his heart).

We departed from FNT at 6:10am and arrived at ORD at 6:15am. (No typo folks... it's the time difference!) Security was pretty tight at the Flint Bishop International Airport this morning. 5:30am- Get patted down for wearing a sweatshirt. CHECK. There were two little boys on the plane- both with window seats who were so fun to watch. Twin 6ish year olds- they were pointing out everything to eachother and their parents. We touched down in Chicago before the sun had a chance to show off it's glory. Actually while the sun was dawning- I was in the tunnels of Chicago waiting for the Blue Line to get it together. There was a man who had fallen on the tracks being rescued. (He was OK, just drunk or exhausted- I couldn't tell which) They had shut down the line for safety and took a little bit to reboot. In the mean time, a man thought he would take the opportunity to "make water" inbetween the train cars. (Oh that he had been as discreet as my description!) Welcome back to Chicago Rach! I had missed it as much as it missed me- especially CTA. Later when I transferred to the bus I fell.... Not outside on the sidewalk running to catch the bus, OH NO! Much too conventional for me. I fell inside where everyone had a better view of the fact that I cannot balance a suitcase on a pair of flip-flops. I made it back to the apartment in just enough time to take a shower and get to work. OK, so I was 3 minutes late. Boss was undoubtedly happy to see that I had returned... also I think he was more amused with my morning antics than he let on about. :) That's what I'm telling myself anyway. By lunchtime I had been awake for nearly 10 hours and yet was still going strong. A bowl of oatmeal and I was headed back down the block to work. It been pretty overcast in Chicago today; dreary, cold, miserable. I saw this woman walking toward me under the shelter of a large umbrella. Each slat had a letter at the end of it- spelling something all the way around. (When I got closer, I realized that it was for PEN INSurance) but from far away the first 6 letters were a little "iffy." If you know what I mean. I'm so junior high, I know... but I couldn't help it!

Other things of significance from today:
1. As I spread my cream cheese on a bagel in Flint waiting for my flight to board, I was overcome with a desire to base an emergency escape plan on my plastic-ware knife just like MacGyver.
2. I saw a singing goat hand puppet today: "high on a hill was a lonely goat herder... yodela-hi yodela-hi, yodale-hi, hoo!"
3. There is a Snapple in one of the stalls on the third floor women's washroom of the building where I work. It has been there since before I went home for Easter last week (FYI: Blog about that to come-- with photos. Promise it's worth the wait!). The thing about the Snapple is that I swear there is some gone since last week. Hmmmm. Kinda makes you wonder doesn't it? Hypothesis' welcome.

My frenzied amusement with life is crashing into anger right now... A good time to end this post I think. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................................

The Longest Weekend ... EVER!

Friday began with my boss calling me into his office to tell me that due to "strategic reductions," he would no longer need a full-time assistant as of the end of May. Happy Friday, right?! I was totally shocked. Predictably; I had been running late and instead of taking the time to put on shoes, I wore flip flops to work. Boss was so kind to assure me that the change had nothing to do with my abilities or performance (in my head I added 'or flip flops'). I was totally teary over the news but did not cry. Hooray for being a grown-up. Boss also was beyond thoughtful in working to make another position here available to me. I still need to decide about this...more on this in a few paragraphs. It was a crazy day to get this news because I was extremely busy getting things settled for the Parent Association that was in town this weekend. So I didn't really get time to process it much.

I spent Friday night and all day Saturday with the Parent Association. It was fun... what can I say? I love taking care of details and I am a super schmoozer. Be assured; these are things my Mom is phenomenally proud of. When I am a parent maybe I will think the very same things these men and women do now, but there are a good deal of their concerns that have never even entered my mind. I think this is a good discussion- how different ages look at life and responsibilities and money and technology, etc. The spectrum is so very wide.

At each Parent Association get together, we like to have a student leader come and share about their group and perspective. This meeting an RA was going to come, but it fell through so I ended up sharing from my previous experience. That was actually such a blessing to me. Suddenly I was telling stories I had not thought of in awhile and reflecting on lessons learned that had been filed away this past year. It refreshed me not only to call to mind all the ways I saw God's faithfulness in those 2 years, but also reminded me how much passion I have for spiritual formation and student development and residence life. (I was actually looking at RS/RD positions last year before this job opportunity came up). The other position that is available to me is working more closely to this world. This vein of work also dovetails nicely with what I would love to do in the future- give people rest, coordinate details, etc. I will still be continuing to pray about it- but right now it looks like a go to me.

Friday also held a super amusing visit to Dr. Hockey. The blog could not do it justice, so ask me sometime in person and I will tell you the whole story- demonstration included. (A $50 value, absolutely free if you call in the next 10 minutes!) hahaha. :) If this is any indication, the beginning of the story involves me asking him if he makes art, him telling me he draws a little-comics and plays the guitar, and then me knocking the roll paper off it's holder and sending it rolling across the room. Awesome.

Kaitlyn had cleaned like crazy while I was working on Saturday. She made the place sparkle with her "woman's touch" however, it had not gotten rid of this mysterious odor coming from near and/or around our fridg. (PS- "mysterious odor" is an awesome thing to search for on google) This may be too graphic for those with weak stomachs, but to me it smells like urine and chicken broth. NASTY basically. Nothing smells funny in the fridg or freezer. We pulled out the fridg and Pine-Sol-ed behind it even; and still it smells. 2 thoughts I have are a dead mouse in our wall- ick! or something funky with our washer/dryer that sits on the other side of that wall. Hopefully the landlord will come look at it soon. That night Amy, Kaits and I went out to McCormick and Schmidt's. They have the best spinach and artichoke dip I have ever tasted. The three of us were all pretty impressed with our heads: my hot (high school free) hair, Kaitlyn's flower band and Amy's hat. Maybe we got hollered at by a man in a van as we walked across the street. "How you doing?" hahahahha.

Oh my word- this blog is getting to be as long as my weekend. hahahaha.

Sunday I had the little ones for church. I had prepared a lesson and stuff but didn't realize A.)how young some of them are and B.) how long I should prepare for. At one point one of the little children knocked a glass table over and a potted plant spilled all it's soil on the carpet and then all 8 children were running through it. My "helper" bit off the marker point and spit it out on the carpet also. hahaha. Teaching FAIL!

After church I had a long talk with Jolanda. She offered that if things should change now or in the future even more with my job or finances, that I could always come stay with her. She told me a bit of her testimony and how no one had ever offered her that in her younger struggling years. Can I just say that God's grace is truly incredible?! Jolanda's life is such an example of that. In the moment, I didn't realize what a big deal it was but as I left I was crying. Crying because I had just experienced from her a sense of stability and support I never expected outside of my blood relatives. I knew that if I asked my church for help in any way, they would take care of me but for her to offer independent of my desperation was more assuring than I could handle. That longing to be taken care of which I usually blame on not having a husband was suddenly completely taken care of by Christ's Body. Wow! Being a part of the church has turned my world upsidedown... How I wish everyone could experience what it means to be part of God's family. Realistically, I'm not concerned about not having a place to stay or anything right now, but just to know that somebody's got me just in case. That is so comforting. So so so so comforting.

Sunday was full of friends! I went to Alli's for a delicious lunch and time to catch up.
Then went with Scott and Joe to a burrito place for dinner. On the way we saw a man who looked like Sherlock Holmes board the bus- tweed suit, hat with feather, round glasses, red beard. Good times! We also saw a Mariachi Band. The boys totally had "pant envy."

OK, I think that's all. That's enough anyway right?... hahaha.

"so High School" no longer!

BEFORE:

It had been awhile since I got my hair cut and my friend Amy told me about a great salon in the city. When I went in, the stylist and part owner- Cora Lee told me that my hair was "so high school". I'm not sure what it is now- "so post-college" maybe, but at the very least I know that I now have a sexy bang that I'm going to try out tomorrow on Dr. Hockey. Hahahhahaa.

AFTER:

What do you think??

Filling in the Cracks

Here's some random things I have wanted to share, but at the time didn't seem long enough to blog about independently.

Movies I have watched recently:
Be Kind, Rewind-awesome movie, love Jack Black and all his extreme silliness!
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang-terrible movie, please don't watch or tell anyone I did!
Calendar Girls-sweet movie, worth watching if you are a girl!

Inventory at Lifeway made my life complete on Saturday. I was assigned the card section (with a couple other people). Imagine if you will -scanning every single card. bleep bleep bleep bleep....... BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP.......! I know to some it may sound awful but it is such a great outlet for me; a context where it is OK to be obsessed with being right! Hooray!

Sunday morning I could not get to church- I waited for the Clark bus for 40 minutes. "CTA, why do you hate me so? I am a nice girl. What have I done to offend you?" That night I played ENCORE. It is the funnest game ever. Two teams alternate thinking of songs that have a particular word in them or from a particular category (EX: Songs that have a number over 10 in them) My team was defeated in the end, but we were pretty great anyway. I took the red line as far north as I have ever been on the "el"- to the Morse stop. My friend Carol was in town and it was so fun to catch up with her in person. The phone just cannot do this woman justice! :) One of her daughter's best friends was there who looked familar to me. Later when she mentioned that she worked at Urban Oasis on Maple, I realized that she had given me a massage about a month ago! Crazy small, awkward world.

Yesterday was the text book bad day..... started off good, got paid, got some sad news, paid my bills, all my friends were busy, gained weight instead of losing it, and it was raining. However, it ended pretty well. I bought an exercise ball finally to do some stretches Dr. Hockey gave me. It is breast cancer awareness pink and so so fun! I felt like a little kid at recess rolling around my apartment.

Today I am getting my hair cut. I think we're going for long layers (ie- Jennifer Anniston in the 90's) but who knows?? I might end up going crazy (ie- Susan Powter in the 90's). Stop the Insanity!