Joy Comes In the Morning

Physically this long labor day weekend was relaxing. I didn't DO anything demanding... And the things I did do were all totally enjoyable.

On Friday I had people over for games and ka-bobs. (My first attempt ever at making ka-bobs and it was pretty much a success. If I could do it over though I would marinade the meat first. A good trick to remember for next time.) It was such a fun time to laugh and chill together. My fave telephone pictionary phrase gone wrong was Rob's "She's buying a stairway to heaven." Somewhere between Kaitlyn and Nikki the angels in heaven transformed into butterflies.... hahahha.

Saturday the girls running club was located on the lakefront which was as fun as running can get. Lanier was my running partner and she is delightful... though I don't know how well either of us did at motivation that morning. :) I took a NAP! Then I started a new book called Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. HE IS PHENOMENAL! And is probably now my 2nd fave author; 1st in my heart will always be Chaim Potok! I used to say that I didn't like fiction books, but I am coming to realize that it is more accurate to say that I only like a certain kind of fiction book. No offense to Janette, but A Gown of Spanish Lace just doesn't do it for me anymore.

On Sunday I made cosmic brownies and ate the batter while watching the Goonies. Everyone I know loves it and was appalled that I had not seen it. I tried to like it, but I don't think I really "got" it. Maybe it is one of those things you can only appreciate in it's nostalgia from your own childhood. Admittedly though, the truffle shuffle made me laugh out loud.

Monday it was glorious to sleep in until 8:30am! (Who am I right now??? How did I ever sleep till 11am before?) I quietly read on the porch for awhile and then went to Jolanda's house for BBQ. She is an incredible host- so generous. There were ribs and potato salad and baked beans and corn on the cob and chicken and hot dogs and all was delicious! She said that she is the "Big Momma" of the family and the church and her block. I'm so thankful to be a part of her family. Also I went to the Garfield Park Conservatory for awhile. I journaled in the outdoor garden and enjoyed the cool breeze and blew bubbles. :) Don't judge me, I love bubbles! That night I was on the porch for over 2 hours... I had intended to read, but then all the craziness was going on and I found myself distracted by prayer instead.

All those details to say that I should have been rested and energized and ready for such a short week ahead, but sadly that wasn't quite the case. I was troubled and couldn't get my mind to slow down. I was anxious and worried and disappointed and fearful and angry. I had all these expectations for my day off (as if I was never to have a holiday again) and instead of enjoying it; I found myself restless to figure out what to do with myself. I was wrestling with the Lord to have peace about things that are beyond my control and understanding. I was grieving not being able to call my Grandpa on his birthday. I was needy and lonely and sensitive. The whole weekend felt like a night when you are so unbelievably tired but cannot find sleep.

The story of Jonah popped into my head when I was at the park and I read it over. God was good to convict me about how the story ends. With a plant generously provided to be a covering that shrivels and how strong Jonah responds to that. He throws a fit of entitlement out of ignorance which was much the same of what I had been doing all weekend. I'm also thankful for a good conversation with Joscey later at the BBQ and the assurance I have of her prayers on behalf of my wounded heart. The body of Christ is pretty cool like that.

Tuesday (you know, the day I had to go back to work) was such a blessing though- and nothing to dread really at all. My roommate gave me a ride to work in the morning. A totally unexpected surprise! At lunch, I heard a beautiful engagement story from this weekend. Totally an encouragement to hear how they have both walked this road so faithfully looking to Jesus! At the end of the day, Kaitlyn came by and we chatted for awhile then went swimming together. It was so much fun and I loved laughing with her and confessing some of my silliest and most profound thoughts from the weekend! I bought a coloring book on the way home- a beautiful adult one from Paper Source. I sat on the front porch eating dinner and reading. Then I colored while listening to the entirety of "Behold the Lamb." I got into bed as the last song played at 9:10pm and went to sleep overjoyed at the GOSPEL!!

Once I heard Steve Arterburn say how glad he was when he realized that not only were the things in the Bible true, but that what was true in life was in the Bible. The weight of relief from experiencing that firsthand was heavy on me last night. There really is no man's affirmation or best friend's listening ear or chocolate delight that can satisfy me in the deepest parts. It is only Jesus Who can meet me there in that brokenness. He can SEE me and UNDERSTAND me and HEAL me- all the things I am so desperately longing for and restless about. Though He may be a Spirit, He somehow in reality touches us. What a mystery! I don't know why I always am doubting this truth...and subsequently needing to re-experience it. Glory to Jesus that He is all our Hope and Peace!

I am so grateful to be free of the many things that were tangling me up this weekend. I felt a joy this morning and a rest that was so refreshing to my soul (even if it was not on my day off). This morning on the way across the plaza to my office, I passed a sprinkler with a pathetic drizzle on the lawn. I noticed a little robin playfully standing under the spray that was gentle enough for it and I laughed out loud. It looked right at me as if it knew the reason I was laughing and disapproved. I am after all the girl who was blowing bubbles in the park this weekend! hahaha
Also, 10 Million bonus points to me for beginning this post with the word "Physically." :)