The Commute: flirty

When I first moved and was being more responsible to get on the "early" train, I would always see the same CTA worker in the mornings. We'll call him Joe Bob. He was a real jolly guy who always referred to be as Ms. Monroe, because of my remarkable resemblance to Marilyn Monroe. (hahahhaa. Yes, I am being sarcastic!And Yes, he really called me that!) Well, I thought it was cute coming from an older grandfatherly man and made me feel special on the days when I was tripping up the escalator, feeling like a hot mess, emailing Saudi Arabia and such.

UNTIL....

One morning I took the "later" train when Joe Bob was getting off his shift. So we stood on the platform chatting about the weather and other miscellaneous socially acceptable tokens. There was a lull and I took a moment to look and see if the train was coming yet. Still nothing. When I looked back to Joe Bob, he seemed more sober than I remember our conversation requiring.
JOE BOB: I've been waiting a long time to tell you this...
ME: oh... (laughing nervously and totally unable to imagine what it might be)
JOE BOB: You are beautiful. I love your hair....(reaches out and touches my hair)
ME: (Completely stunned and speechless)
JOE BOB: I'm sorry I couldn't resist. I better watch myself, right?
ME: Yeah (akwardly and slowly backing up, look for the train. STILL NOTHING)
JOE BOB: I noticed you because you have a great smile and your ass isn't hanging out of your pants like the other girls on this block. Where do you stay at?
ME: Um, over on 19th and Kedzie (A generic street corner near my house)
JOE BOB: Well, are you married, got a boyfriend or kids?
ME: No. No. No. (Wishing I could've lied...) How about you?
JOE BOB: I'm not married and I've got three kids who are grown now.
ME: How old are they? (Hoping this question would spark some measure of logic and reason)
JOE BOB: Oh, 43, 37 and 31.
ME: Oh... that's nice. How old are you? (Breathing easy because surely he realizes I am younger than his children and surely saying his own age will make everything click)
JOE BOB: I'm 65. So, do you think I could come over sometime and pick you up and we could do something together?
ME: Uhhh... (laughing nervously again) Well, I'm not anywhere near 65.
JOE BOB: It doesn't matter how old you are- it only matters how old you feel.
THE TRAIN ARRIVES!
JOE BOB: I like to do real nice things like watch TV and we could eat dinner together. Or I could come sit on the step with you.  (Standing close to me on the train)
ME: No, I don't think so. Sorry, I'm not interested!
JOE BOB: No? Really? Alright well... (putting his hand over mine) Be sweet baby.(He goes and sits down)
ME: OK thanks. 

So step aside all you 65 year old single ladies.... Apparently I'm what the men are looking for in that age bracket. :)