Last week a fight broke out at the end of SLAM because a kid who came from the west side flashed a gang sign at a kid from Cabrini who represents a rival gang and it erupted! Everybody’s cousin jumped in to “help.” Thankfully there were staff people outside and broke it up quickly. Anyway, in the middle of the action are 2 staff guys I really respect. As I was leaving, they were still holding kids back by their wrists. I left feeling so thankful that they were there and strong enough to handle all that. And all week through different things have been impressed to pray for men to rise up to be a part of ending this crisis of kids without dads. (anyway… that could be its own post and may be someday soon…)
So I wanted to send a email to the 2 of them in appreciation for being out there and in general all that they do at SLAM. But then because one of them (who shall be called "Manly Man" in this post) is this tall balding, hairy unmarried beast of a man, I couldn’t justify it. I didn’t want to be manipulative and try to do some ridiculous version of ‘Christian encouragement’ in an attempt to pick up a guy. (been there, done that) SO… I very maturely refused to send an email or facebook message (though I will admit I drafted several). Especially after all the thoughts I was having about needing men in this ministry though- it felt stupid to not encourage someone. I went back and forth…
THE DEED
Monday night comes and Manly Man and I pass each other in the hall. I resist for a moment, then turn back and this is what happened…
ME: Hey Manly Man! Actually I wanted to say something to you
HIM: Yeah… what’s up?
ME: I don’t know if you remember me.. I’m Rachel (pointing at my name tag!) and I go to Dave’s church
HIM: Oh yeah yeah yeah.. Rachel right, OK
ME: Well, I was thinking about the fight last week and I didn’t really see it except I was leaving at the end and saw you guys in the middle of it…(TOTALLY OUT OF BREATH because I am nervous and lost a natural rhythm so now it sounds breathy)
ME CONT’D: Maybe you will think this is cheesy (deep GASP for breath!) (Also I am needing to clear my throat but I can only hear my Dad’s voice in my head saying how unladylike that is so I continue breathy and gritty to the end. )
HIM: OK… (cocks head to side and makes interested yet apprehensive face)
ME: I was thinking a lot about what you did, being there on the frontlines and all and getting in the middle of it and I am just really glad that you are a man.
(Panicking because I realize this sounds dumb and obvious)
ME CONT’D: And by that I mean, a man of God...(Overwhelmed by my inability to recover, I turn red and start saying a lot more things I don’t remember)
HIM: Oh, well that’s not cheesy at all. I was kinda worried about what you were gonna say, but no, that’s encouraging! I humbly receive that. Thanks!
ME: oh yeah… anytime.(wanting to have an actual conversation, but not knowing where to go from that… I look at my feet and he walks away)
THE CONCLUSION OF THE MATTER
It is funny. It really really is, please feel free to laugh your head and your tail off. I have been! But it also made me feel so inept and ridiculous. He probably has a girlfriend, so in this instance it's probably not that big of a deal. But how embarrassing to not be able to form decent sentences. ah! The LORD knows my marriage will be a testimony to the world that miracles do happen! Also, I could pick apart my motives all day long, but somewhere in the midst of all that hormone was a genuine desire to appreciate his “man-ness.”(Which is what I was planning to say and so thankful the Lord did not allow it past my lips. :) CAN YOU IMAGINE?“ Hey Buddy, I’m real thankful for your man-ness!” haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Maybe I could have quoted John Eldredge while I was at it: Thanks for giving of your strength… Do you find me captivating? haha. Oh dear!)
hahahahahahahahaha - how has no one posted a comment to this yet?!!?
ReplyDeleteyeah. i'm sure that was quite the moment. and you did a great job narrating it, although i would have loved to have observed it.
and yes, i understand what you are saying, appreciating his "man-ness" hahaha. praise God for men who stand firm for Him, who pour their lives into young people, who provide protection and covering, who balance youth ministry with their strength and directness......... and who don't LAUGH OUT LOUD and girls who struggle with how to comment on their thanks!
hee hee....
Rachel. I am snickering. Alone. In my room at 11:07 PM. HILARIOUS! HILARIOUS, my friend, hilarious. Oh man, have I been there. Have I ever told you about my most embarrassing moment?
ReplyDeleteThank you both! hahahaha. It was a good time. :) I can get through anything if I know it will be a good story later. hahaha. That's just what I kept telling myself.
ReplyDeleteRay- I don't think I have heard your most embarassing moment.... DO TELL!