Hard Things

I hate doing hard things. I put them off until the very last. Like when I have a To-Do list, I will start with the easy projects I can quickly cross off and then there is that surge of excitement.... "LOOK! More than 1/2 my list is done. This is a jiffy of a list!" And then you are left with those 2 things... those 2 huge things that require patience and dedication and making a lot more mess before everything can be looking cleaned up again. I hate those 2 things!

When I was in high school one of them was Math. My strategy was to do double the pages in every other subject that way I could justify not doing any Algebraic expressions. That was great at the time, but by the end of the year…. No bueno. All the other subjects would be complete and I would have to labor over that algebra all day. I can remember so many tears being shed on our kitchen table over that Saxon Math book. (I have a few algebraic expressions of my own for it now- let me tell you!) Anyway- Saxon was hard but my strategy was flawed nonetheless and made it even more difficult. Knowing this you think I would pick a new strategy- like do the hard stuff first and then breeze to the finish. OH NO- I never even tried that!

Well, it seems that I have adopted this same flawed strategy for my whole life- AWESOME! This week I have had to reckon with the “final 2” on my list. I started to do the 2 things that are not quickly crossed off the list- that are going to require a lot of re-learning, probably some pain and a whole lot of patience. I joined Weight Watchers and I send a crazy honest email to a friend.
The email isn’t the sort of thing to write about in a blog- if I did you would all fall asleep I’m sure. But it has changed our relationship and that took a lot of bravery and honesty. The learning curve will be steep as I learn to play a different role and my endurance will be tested as I let go of some hopes. Yeah… that’s probably gonna be on the list for awhile.
The Weight Watchers was per the instruction of my doctor (Dr. Evil as I like to call her). I have insulin resistance which can easily turn into diabetes if not monitored. I’m sure this is a shock to none of you- I have always been the fat kid. In college, the Lord healed parts of me that were so broken from this stigma. I feel like this time in my life is such a gift to be able to learn how to live healthier. Last night was my first meeting: It’s in a hotel and as I approached the front desk the man behind it started pointing. Apparently, he has seen a lot of confused fatties. :) There was another man looking for the meeting also, so the man behind the desk told us to “go together.” This man was much older than me and looked more scared than I did. Hahahahahha. I felt like we were three years old and going to play group without our mommies for the first time. Well, we made it and while most of the people in the meeting looked like they were only 5 lbs. away from their goal, I think it will be good. There’s an online food journal where I can be a neurotic as I want about keeping track of my food intake. I am skilled at being neurotic! And I made a friend, so I feel pretty pleased about that. Here’s a little inspiration for the week from last night’s meeting: The elevator to success is broken, so you’ll have to take the stairs- one step at a time!