Adventure on Madison

SETTING THE SCENE
On Wednesday I was driving the Jr. High gals home after Bible study. One lives pretty far out and so we started heading west down Madison. Just past Cicero (you know, right where the road is significantly sketchy) there is this loud KNOCK on the bottom of the van. Poor Fillup the Heifer.  :( It was so loud and jarring I thought maybe we dropped the transmission or something, but we still had power, so really I had no idea what happened. I pulled over and told the girls to stay in the van while I walked around and looked under it. I couldn't see anything strange---no fire, no smoke, no hanging parts, no flat tires....hmmm.

THE PLOT THICKENS
I hear a man behind me shouting "It's back here!" and pointing at the ground. He picks up a chunk of steel and holds it up for me to see. Ohhhh... the muffler finally fell off. So I start walking limping toward him and the muffler. Thankfully he had gloves on and was able to pick it up even though it was hot. He offered to bring the muffler to the van since I didn't have gloves on... how kind, right?

THE PLOT TAKES A TERRIBLE SPIRAL DOWNWARDS
As we are walking back to the van, the "kind Samaritan" says to me: "Normally I would ask for money for something like this..." (REALLY!?!?!) "But I'm a real nice guy, so you know I won't ask you for anything" (Well that's good, cuz I don't have any money to give you) As soon as that was done, he said to me "So, are you alone?" (Creepiest question I have ever been asked, any chance I could outrun him in this boot....?) As he set the muffler down in the van in slow motion he told the girls to put his number in their phone. AND YOU'RE DONE!