Petition

A friend recently interviewed me about my educational experience for a paper. I do have a varied educational experience- private school, public school and home learning. :)

As I talked stream of consciousness about my time at Armada Elementary School, I was struck with what a terrible child I was and how many schemes I came up with there. You all my not believe it because I am so great now (hahahaha), but my poor mother. I wonder if she knew what she was getting into by teaching me at home. :)

Here are a few favorites, terribly embarrassing favorites: 
1. In 2nd grade, buying a recorder from the 4th grade class while I was supposed to be "in the bathroom." I didn't know how to sneak it back into my classroom, so I shoved it down a pant leg. Yeah, the ones with the stirrups on the feet. I had gotten $3 from my Mom for it- told her it was a requirement for school. (Which it was for the 4th graders) I came home and showed her what I had "learned" about playing the recorder. I think I tried to keep up that act for about a week. :)
2. In 1st grade, throwing an absolute tantrum while my mom tried to bundle me into a snowsuit. I still remember the sobering conversation my Mom had with me about being a bad testimony. I wish Mrs. Holleweg could see how well behaved I am now.
3. Offering to clean the gym at recess for a couple weeks straight and was really just playing in there with Jean Marie Belvedere instead. How did I pull that off?
4. Going to the music lab for the last time slot of the day. I wanted to keep playing that interactive musical computer game for more than my allotted 15 minutes, so I kept turning the timer back. Apparently while I was do-ra-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do-ing the whole school was looking for me & the bus was waiting on me. oops!

All time favorite terribly embarrassing memory from Elementary:
I hated recess. Isn't that sad? I never knew what to do or who to hang out with though so it was always awkward for me. Most times I stood and talked to the adult monitor. A few times I remember doing something with a group- like pretending to be newscasters or eating bark. Yeah, some kid named Daryl convinced us it was very nutritious. Once I got in trouble for saying the word "hell" when telling another girl about Jesus. (You should have seen my defiance when I was confronted by a teacher... you would have thought I was being marched out to the guillotine!)

Anyway, at recess one day I noticed some rust on the swing set and suddenly I had this bright idea of what I could do at recess. I started a petition for the swings to be replaced. I was sure that the rust was evidence of a million safety violations and I was determined to right this injustice! :) hahahahaha. Despite the passionate and convicted speech I offered, my classmates were less than concerned. I was sure they were just afraid of getting in trouble though- apparently I was the only one with enough guts to zealously stand against the administration...to fight the system...to defend the cause of the weak! I promise I am not exaggerating how noble an endeavor I thought this was.

Knowing that "the man" who was actually a woman would not take me seriously on my own I devised a plan to work the audience- for their own benefit of course. I started offering candy bars to everyone who would sign my petition and suddenly my page was filling up with names. Next to their name they wrote their candy bar choice. :) I was all politician in my youth though and had no intention of giving anyone a candy bar.

I left the petition for Principal M and went back to class. At the end of the day, she came to my classroom and took me to the hall for a chat. She asked me if I really thought the swings were a danger. I told her solemnly that I did. She told me that she would send the maintenance men out to inspect them regularly. She seemed to be taking this as seriously as I had hoped. She even put me in charge of reporting any swings whose condition was getting worse to her right away. A smart woman.

The next week I got so many demands from my classmates for candy bars, I decided I would have to follow through. So I went home and told my Mom very matter of factly I needed 50 candy bars. :) haaaaaaaaaaa! If you know my Mom you know how she responded. After an initial "WHAT?" and my explanation of things; she marched me through Sam's club muttering under her breath about how I was giving her gray hair and was going to be the death of her and next time I should think before making promises and no daughter of hers was going to not keep her word. She put a giant bag of assorted fun size candy bars into the cart. I opened my mouth to argue that they were supposed to be full size and give the list of the kinds I needed. I closed it right away though because I saw that look in my mom's eye. I knew I had a better chance of talking Jean Marie into a Snickers than persuading my Mom to get something else. Si se puta!