Vocab Words

2012-02-09T11:31:00.000-06:00

Remember the show, Recess? It’s one of the only cartoon shows I will admit to enjoying. (I’m also pretty fond of Arthur the Aardvark) TJ Detwhiler makes up the word “Whomps” partially because he’s cool and partially because he can’t get in trouble for the meaning of a made up word. Anyway, it totally made me laugh and made me think of it when I heard these new vocab words recently.

TTU: Too Turned Up

One Wednesday, the girls and I are in the Heifer and the answer to every question was “TTU”. How was school? TTU How was your weekend? TTU How about Taco Bell for dinner? TTU You get the idea!:)

So Happenly... : The new form of “It so happened”

On the way home from Taco Bell, the girls were telling stories and one of them kept starting with “So happenly”. It has a nice ring to it right? I think will start using it.

Clutch: Means to come through under pressure in an important moment

My AZ friends say this all the time.I think basketball people might say this too. Urbandictionary.com says that the term is “derived from the clutch mechanism in a manual car, where perfect timing can mean the difference between a launch and a stall”.

B-boy: Short for “break-boy” refers to guys who break dance

A few weeks ago I went to a winter block party at The Metro with my neighbors. Their friend Joseph “Sentrock” was in town from AZ and got to jump into the b-boy competition. It was pretty great to see so much culture and art and strength in these guys (and girls)! Not my scene at all, but I loved it and secretly felt like I was in Step Up 3. :)

Cipher: It’s b-boys freestyling- no formal competition

Just learned the correct spelling of this one now… Was totally searching for “sypher”…Oh well!

That’s all I got for now, but I’m sure there will be more to come. You could try out one of these words this week or make up your own. :) Please comment any original words… I would love to start using them!

Grieving Outsider/Insider

2012-02-03T10:12:00.000-06:00

When I got home from work on Wednesday, there were cops everywhere and looking through the windows of parked cars with their flashlights and a tow truck picking up a van. I didn't know what happened, but I knew it was something bad. I later found out that a man had been shot and killed just across the corner of 19th and Troy.

I felt a particular grief that I live so close to the place this violence happened. A violence that not only took this man's life but also left families and friends who knew him (grew up with him) grieving. Those people are my neighbors that I say hi to in passing, wait for the el with, care about and pray for, but I don't really know them...I didn't know Johnny Henderson.

I wanted to express my solidarity with my neighbors- that this was our community's grief. At the same time though, I felt like I didn't have a right to grieve for someone I didn't know, whose life didn't intersect with mine, whose experiences didn't come from the same world. I didn't want to disrespect their deep grief by pretending I was going through the same thing- because I'm not. I also didn't want to disrespect my commitment to this place by pretending it did not affect me- because it does.

So I bought a cheesecake and walked down the block to the memorial that had been set up. There were red heart balloons and a poster board of pictures around the tree; candles and empty liquor bottles at the base of it. I offered my condolences and prayers for the family and my cheesecake. I offered to pray with a couple people, but no one took me up on it. I talked with a couple guys about their friendship with Johnny and the things that cause this kind of thing in our neighborhood. And then I left.

What does it really look like to be a caring neighbor? To be a part of a community different from the one you grew up in? How can I have any kind of relationship or make any kind of difference in the lives of these men who are aching to prove themselves? How can I demonstrate light and hope and truth? How do I remain open when all I want to do is hide from this ugly reality?

Silly as that cheesecake was, I didn't know how else to express my sadness and love for my neighbors. I didn't know how else to offer my presence and with it the hope of Jesus. I wish I would have wrote a card or Bible verse or something too, but I didn't really think of that until after the fact. I feel so small and insignificant in the midst of so many layers of pain and brokenness, but I serve a God who is more than able to do more than I can ask or think, who is enough to fill this deep sadness and give new life and hope to those who call on His name.

His name is above every name
His authority is limitless
His holiness is supreme
His love is immeasurable
His wisdom is infinite
His strength is unmatched
His truth is powerful
His healing is complete
His victory over sin and death is sure

I invite His presence here...to Chicago, to Lawndale, to 19 & Troy....
And look forward to the day when our faith shall be made sight!

LOYOLA- Fall 2012

2012-02-02T10:32:00.000-06:00

I will be attending Loyola University in Chicago this Fall!

The more involved I become in the world of Higher Education, the more I want to know about it and how to make it better. With some encouragement from my boss especially, I applied to Loyola and was accepted. I will still be working at Moody full time and taking classes part time in the M.Ed Higher Education Program.

My hope is that this degree and future opportunities can help to bridge the gap between the two worlds I am most passionate about, under-resourced communities and college. In the future, I would love to be working in minority student affairs/multi-cultural office or in enrollment management programming for first generation college students. Maybe some other things too, but we will see how long my scholarly ambition lasts. :)

The direction I am headed now feels opposite in some ways to what I came here for. I came to Chicago for a Bible education with plans to do mission work overseas. I could have never expected how much I love the city and the westside in particular. I could never have known what deep relationships I would develop with the youth here. I could never have imagined loving my job so much or having some of these key opportunities. I could never have realized how my ideas about cross-cultural ministry and incarnational living would be made realities here in Chicago.This internal conflict over what I thought my future would be and what it has turned out to be has caused me to deeply appreciate that we are called to Christ, not to a place. It would be too easy to have guilt over what I am not doing instead of delighting in the ministry He has gifted to me.

One of my favorite missionary stories is of Mary Slessor (Run, Ma, Run). I've been thinking what an inspiration she is young and doing Bible studies in a rough part of town. I love the scene when the tough boys swing a rock in front of her face and she does not flinch. If I remember right they end of attending the study and making sure no one gives Mary any more trouble. I may not be that heroic, but I do have great hope for this place. The Spirit of God is certainly at work and I look forward to seeing how all this will turn out... Maybe a few years from now I will be writing another entry where my life takes another twist. :)

The Deli

2012-02-02T09:36:00.000-06:00

Last night Kira and I went shopping. She's 14 and if I had left the shopping up to her we would have walked out of there with olives, cinnamon toast crunch cereal and cookies 'n' cream milk.

At the deli, I was so impressed with the man helping me because he got my Stella Provolone and Sara Lee Roast Beef to exactly .50 lb. Probably you're nodding your head thinking "that's cool" even though you wouldn't have blogged about it. My reaction was much more animated than that... I held the bags of deli meat and cheese up for Kira to see and announced with a big smile that they were exact. When she didn't show very much excitement, I tried to explain to her how difficult that was to do- to take slices of meat and add them perfectly up to .50 lb. She tried to act excited for my sake (and so we could move on to the cereal aisle), but I knew deep down that she was not. There are some things that are just thrilling to me and delis are one of them... If the large glass counter had not been between us, I would have slapped him on the back with as much enthusiasm as if he just roped a steer.

SIDE NOTE: It just popped in my head what a funny sitcom episode it would be if there was an aspiring deli man who was too short to see over the counter. oh the pain...! :) Although, I guess he could just get a step stool... hm. not as entertaining.

When Kira and I got up to the checkout counter, I noticed that the bag of cheese was missing. It was busy and the cashier had no interest in my story of lost cheese. So we paid and then retraced our steps through the store until we found it. :) That has never happened to me before... losing items from your cart while shopping!

Just now, I ate a delicious roast beef and provolone sandwich on a pretzel roll. Sadly, that means they are no longer exactly .50 lb.

Underground Apology

2012-02-02T09:09:00.000-06:00

To my friends & hidden fan club (only one of whom I am aware):
My deepest apologies for this drought of blog-less-ness. You can expect some stories to roll out shortly. :)

You can look forward to hearing some new vocab words I've learned, my latest adventures in breakdancing and of course a few akward moments. Love to you all!

Shhhhhhhhh!

2011-11-28T09:30:00.001-06:00

The other morning on my way to work I waited for the brown line for 15-20 minutes…When it finally arrived I boarded the train just as grumpy and annoyed as the hundreds of people waiting on the platform (I may be exaggerating about the brevity of the crowd).

The four ladies from my neighborhood behind me didn't seem to mind the delay because they had things to talk about. They talked about their business loud enough so that the whole train car could hear and not have any doubt about what these women thought about it all.

Landlord- useless
Knee pain- unbearable
Children- lazy as ever

They sat in a cluster on the outside seats, turned into a huddle in the aisle. There were some choice words peppering their commentary as well.

Sitting on the inside of one of the seats was a little thing, all of 30 and perfectly manicured. Cutting through the ladies chatter, she whipped her head around and brought her extended index finger to her pursed lips. “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” For a moment, the whole car was stunned and waited to see what would happen next.

Loud Ladies: “Excuuuuuuse me! I am not your child!”
Brazen Blondie: “You’re so loud! and you’re swearing.”
Loud Ladies: “You aint never heard swearing before? I’m not at your church!” (lots of mocking and laughing between group)
Brazen Blondie:(Looks around desperately for someone to support her assertion, but everyone is wearing their ‘city face’ pretending nothing is happening) “Well, you’re not going to get very far in life swearing and being so loud!”
Loud Ladies: “Excuuuuse me! If you don’t want to hear what I’ve gotta say you can just close your ears!”
Brazen Blondie: (shakes head defiantly, points both index fingers and inserted them to her ears)

Woah! It was like a front row seat at a theatre. I did pretty well at keeping a straight face on the train, but as soon as I exited I laughed my head off the entire 2 blocks to work. It’s a comic tragedy of sorts though really. These were real women who treated each other this way in real life on their average commute (this part I did not exaggerate at all).

Sure, I get annoyed when people are talking loudly on the train. Sure, I hate it when people play their music at an inconsiderately high volume. Sure, it’d be great if everybody kept their language PG. Sure, I’d rather not hear about people’s portfolios or sex life or health problems. But Blondie, it’s public mass transit! You can’t isolate yourself from everybody else or their business on it!

It makes me sick to think that this woman decided whether these ladies would be successful in life based on nothing more than conduct on the el one morning. These women were more than 20 years her senior and probably could have given her a much more severe life lesson in that moment. That assumption about their ability to be successful in life influenced the way she treated these ladies- as children who could learn from her sterling example, rather than as women who have weathered a hell of a lot more life than her.

I know this scene has caused me to pause since and think about my own assumptions. Daily, I so desperately need the Lord to transform my mind about what it means to be valuable, successful, beautiful even. In this country, in this city and in my own heart our heart attitudes that can produce such ugliness need to be examined. Our words have the power to bring life or death…let’s choose them wisely.

Glimpse

2011-10-28T13:20:00.000-05:00

Here's a little glimpse into what one friend has coined, my "rich inner world":

1. SPLAT! I killed a gnat buzzing around my face with my bare hands.
2. I narrated the experience (or I was talking trash to the dead gnat): "And that's why they call me fast hands Monfette!"
3. Laughed outloud at my big achievement and wondered who really calls me "Fast Hands Monfette"

Is YOU My Boo Thang?

2011-10-23T20:21:00.000-05:00

Usually I get an education on Sundays, but this last week it was phenomenal. Raven and Mika went grocery shopping and made bananna bread with me. They taught me what a "boo thang" is and it's my favorite word this week. Love this girls and all they educate me about... :)

My Purse

2011-10-13T10:10:00.002-05:00

Lately my purse has been an unruly jungle of receipts and coupons; straw wrappers and sticky notes to the point I could not even find my lip gloss! It probably did not help that there were 2 books, a brush, a cell phone, a wallet and a pair of dirty socks in there taking up space in there also.

I cleaned out my purse the other night, but left the dirty socks in there. They’re bright pink, from my Mom’s sock drawer which is a collection of socks the rest of us are too self-conscious to wear. They’re dirty from going bowling while at home a couple weeks back.

I had such a fantastic time at home! I slept and played games, went bowling and to the movies, painted pumpkins and star gazed, watched fireworks and drank a lot of frozen cokes. :) It was just the balm to my body and soul that I needed. I wish Chicago and home could be closer to each other.

Coming back to Chicago, I am very much more rested and in general in a more sane place. Coming back to Chicago, I am also feeling vulnerable.I had hoped that Memphis could undo the burdens of the inner city, but it wasn’t quite that powerful. I am so small and insignificant here. While I know there are those who care about me here, everyone seems to have to rush on to the next something. Emotionally and spiritually I need someone to sit with me awhile and be persistent. I know that’s a bit needy…but whatever mess is being worked out in my heart and mind is taking its dear, sweet time and I can’t seem to help that.

Baby, baby, baby, oooooooo!

2011-10-07T15:39:00.000-05:00

All I can say is.... there's gonna be one less lonely girl!

In case you can't make it out, it's a toothbrush that plays

2 of the Biebs best tunes....

Ridiculous Information

2011-09-22T09:44:00.001-05:00

This somehow made it on my list of things to share and yet it doesn’t really fit with anything else/is not really important at all. Since it is on the list though, it MUST be shared.

I just wanted to say that I signed up for the free month of HuluPlus with a .edu email so that I could watch the finale of Masterchef because they bogus-ly did not release that to the public. So then I watched a bunch of old Pysch episodes too. It turned out to be such a bonus though because I was able to watch the premiere of “New Girl” and “Parenthood” a week early. Huzzah!

The end. (I am embarrassed that this post exists.)

High School hair and other things I am learning about growing up

2011-09-22T09:42:00.001-05:00

It’s hard to believe but most of the junior highers have become freshman now! How and when did that happen? Even though we had talked about it all summer, the transformation seemed to happen in a weeks time and take me by surprise.

The Wednesday after Labor Day all the girls came looking about 10 years older with beautiful new weaves and styles. The girls seemed to indicate it was a rite of passage of sorts- they now have “high school hair.” (In my head at one point, I may have imagined us all in old world clothing standing around a Sabbath table singing Sunrise, Sunset- thankfully just in my head!)

They seem to be adjusting well though. I’m proud of them for jumping in to a new place with boldness. I know that there are even more voices now vying for their attention and I pray God’s protection over their hearts and minds. Sometimes I forget how much is coming with them to Bible Study- a full day of the world’s pressures and lies; a whole weeks worth of observing violence and trying to stand up for themselves. It really is a miracle and gift that their hearts are tender and open to God’s Word by His Spirit.

High school is the hardest time because you are young enough to think that your decisions don’t matter that much- “you’re just a kid!” In reality though, those high school years are so formative in terms of the direction you go for the future. I had a little heart to heart with the girls about that last week…I probably sounded like a Mom to them, but I hope regardless of how relevant they thought I was or wasn’t, that they saw how much I love them.

Truly, I cannot explain what a love I have in my heart for these girls and for the Westside of Chicago. It is supernatural and I think this might be my mission field for a while.

Introducing….

2011-09-21T20:43:00.005-05:00

My new upstairs neighbors:
Malissa, Nate, Elliot and Aldyn (plus Nelson)

They moved here from Arizona because Malissa received a scholarship at UIC to do doctoral studies in urban planning. Hopefully they will be around a while because I pretty much love them already. (When Nate quoted Arrested Development it sealed the deal!)

Malissa and I have gone for coffee and studying at the Knock Box a couple times. We like to eat and play games together like Monopoly Deal. It’s fun to hear the pitter patter of feet upstairs (especially in the morning when I need motivation to get up). Sometimes I play “Guess the Sound” with other things that go bump on the floor. I love to have conversations about urban ministry and their life experiences. They are pretty involved at their church even though they are new. Malissa gets to wear a stellar orange vest because she is the parking attendant! Elliot and Aldyn are totally creative and fun kids. I love hearing about their day or overhearing them playing in the backyard. They have a cute dog named Nelson who had a stroke so his tongue hangs out one side of his mouth- it’s pretty endearing. We also had 2 ‘adorable’ brown mice living in the building, but they have recently moved on. Bottom line, I’m so thankful that they are my new “roommates”.

My new roommate, Judith:

The Lord provided Judith from what I thought was a magical land because I had never heard of it before. She was born in the Faroe Islands (owned by Denmark) and cam to the states for college. She graduated from John Brown University this year and did an internship this summer in Chicago. After so much anxiety about who I would find to replace Aubrey on short notice, she moved in on September 1st and left me totally humbled at God’s providing hand. She is clean and likes to play games and loves pumpernickel bread and has great style and a cool boyfriend, Josh. She and Josh introduced me to 2 new games- Blockus and Sequence. I am no good at either… yet! So excited to get to know her more in the coming months. God is good to me- all the time!

A Man in a Mexican Wrestling Mask Walks Into a Game Stop…

2011-09-21T20:43:00.003-05:00

It reads just like the beginning a fantastic joke, but at the time it was so not funny. Jodecai and Zyleke went to Game Stop in Cicero last week so they could exchange some games for a new one. I had never even been to Game Stop so I was already getting quite an education about how these sorts of things work.

A man walks by the window. With a Mexican wrestling mask on…

I pause and ponder how strange that is.

The same man walks back by the window and into the store- still wearing his mask.

I inch toward the door motioning for the boys to come with me because my imagination has gone into overdrive about this man robbing the store, holding us hostage and my Mom hearing about it all on the evening news. The boys are too absorbed in their game selection to notice my subtle movement.

The employees tell the man that in order to shop there he has to take off the mask.

The man grunts and growls and aggressively shakes a shelf of games.

I walk back toward the boys envisioning myself heroically shielding them from bullets with my body….

The man walks out of Game Works.

Me and the boys go to Taco Bell.

Overheard

2011-09-21T20:43:00.001-05:00

1. A sweet 19 year old Moody male student in the plaza:
“My grandma is a blessing to me!”

2. A confused and mentally disturbed man on the el at 7am:
”Oh shit! I’m on the pink line? I got on the girly line? Oh Shit! How did I get on the girly line? I can’t believe I’m riding the pink girly line! Shit!”

3. Yakira in the van on the way to Bible Study:
”Rachel treats us like we are her own kids.”

4. The neighbor girl (8 years old) on the back porch through my bedroom window: “Insert the words of a praise and worship song she was making up without knowing anyone was listening” (This is BY FAR the sweetest way to wake up on a week day!)

5. Zyleke at his baptism on Sunday:
“I know that when I mess up Jesus is always with me and will forgive me.”

6. A Moody Student headed to her dorm room:
“Going to watch Korean Dramas… I am obsessed and have to find out what happened.”

7. A text from my neighbor after telling her I would bring the pot (of Chili) upstairs for dinner:
“Bring the chili too, we might get the munchies!”

8. Me (a bit to loud) to a friend in a public area at work recounting the story of unexpectedly saying goodbye late at night to a friend moving out of state:
“I wish I was wearing more clothes right now.”

A-U-B-R-E-Y .C. M-A-R-T-I-N

2011-09-21T20:42:00.001-05:00

Aubrey was pretty much the greatest roommate I ever had (don’t tell my other roommates I said that though). She decided to move back to California though in August. I’ve never been to the LA area but I imagine the weather and views to be a bit more appealing than Chicago, so I guess I can’t blame her too much.

Top 5 fave things done with Aubrey C. Martin:

1. Sit on the floor on opposite sides of the kitchen and laugh, then cry about life.

2. Going to see Glee the Concert in 3D. Better than renting the Justin Bieber documentary only because of the cool glasses you can keep.

3. Sitting on the front porch reading.

4. Getting our oil changed at Quick Oil.

5. Eating pizza we ordered (ALWAYS a good idea!)

By far one of Aubrey’s greatest contributions to my life is teaching my how to use itunes. If you could have seen me grasping the concept of playlists and podcasts, you may have confused me with a 60 year old woman. I asked her questions like: “It’s really free?” “You don’t have to have an ipod to use it?” “Then where do you click?” “Are you sure it’s free?” “Why should I load my music to itunes if I already have it on CD?” “It’s free right?” hahahaha. It was one of those things I knew about for a long time but was too embarrassed to say I had no idea what to do with it, so now I know.

Aubrey’s patience paid off however and now I am an avid itunes user. I have made a playlist of songs about God’s love to go along with this season in life. I have plans to make as many playlists as possible for ordinary things (workout playlist, washing dishes playlist, blogging playlist, brushing my teeth playlist, doing my laundry playlist, cooking playlist- you get the idea). Also, I listened to a podcast about how you can sweat colors- it’s an actual medical phenomenon.See how important this addition is to my life?!

I’m thankful for all our times together, Aubrey– I will miss you most when I’m watching guilty pleasure television. Many blessings on your new job at camp!

Mid-afternoon Train to Memphis

2011-09-21T19:03:00.001-05:00

It’s been awhile since I’ve been home. More importantly it’s been awhile since I’ve been out of the city. In time, too much concrete can make your soul weary…

In the past 2 months I have felt wearier (if that’s a word) than even college all nighters and the days thereafter. Mentally and physically the hours at work were demanding. Emotionally I was over invested in my new role at work and in the pain of girls in Bible study. I was anxious over finding a new roommate and there was violence on my block. Spiritually, I felt conflicted about what it means to be loved by God and wrestled with if I had enough courage to believe the truth. There’s a lot more that could be said with all these, but suffice it to say…I am in need of a renewal of sorts. And I’m hoping to find it in the next 6 days at home.

It’s so glorious to sit on the train and watch the city fade and the endless fields come into view. The colors are just beginning to change on the trees, so there are these surprising bursts of red scattered across the landscape. Every single tree seems like a grace from Heaven… so thankful for these good and perfect gifts from the Father.

A list

2011-09-19T22:58:00.000-05:00

Also, for those of you kind enough to check this blog even though I haven't updated it over the summer- please know it is not for want of material that I have been blog-less recently.

Be assured I have a list and will use my ample time on the amtrak Wednesday to fill you in on all the details. :) I don't want to spoil anything but the list may include a shopping trip where I terrorized the sales lady regarding percentage of polyester in pants...and the junior highers going to high school...and a man singing opera on the bus at 9pm (there's not really anything more to that story actually)...and so much more. :)

Squeeze

2011-09-19T22:50:00.001-05:00

Do not be alarmed by the title of this post! This is not the embarrassing tale of bathroom advice your mom gave you, that malfunctioned at a family reunion while wearing Raggedy Ann culottes. (That's a true story for another time). It's actually the title of a song I hadn't heard in awhile by Eric Peters.

The first time I heard this song was in 2006 at my very first "Behold the Lamb" concert. Everything about that concert rocked my world and I am forever indebted to the Spirit's work in those songwriters life and their courage to share that with a bunch of strangers. I remember this man getting up and sharing about a crisis of faith and what it meant to him to know with certainty that God could handle his doubts. Maybe you have already figured this out about life, but at 20 and in bible college wrestling with so much knowledge; this felt like a brand new truth. It spoke a freedom into my life I cannot fully express.

I've often thought of this song and even find myself making a fist and squeezing tight as a symbol of holding on to truth when it feels the most untrue. It is a powerful reminder of the refining work God is doing in our hearts and minds and souls- grinding away the rock to reveal the diamond inside.

Even though I don't know that I would have remembered the artists name (sorry Eric!), I did recognize it when I saw posters at work that he was coming to do a concert. And the timing could not be short of divine.

On Wednesday, I'm leaving for a 6 day vacation. A very necessary vacation. There has been a tremendous amount of dissonance in my life this summer, primarily in the past 2 months. I'm so thankful for the ways God is shaping me through that, but all that grinding is painful and exhausting as well. It is so good for me to be reminded that this grinding I feel is not to destroy me, but to form me more clearly into the image of His Son. That is a hope my soul has been desperate to know!

It would have been cool to hear him sing it tonight, but it wasn't on his playlist and I was too chicken to call it out. :) I did talk to him after the concert though and I hope the story of how God has, and is using his music is encouraging. Take a listen- good stuff!

(And if you like that, check out him and other artists at Under the Radar)

4th Annual Lawndale 5K Walk / Run

2011-09-09T08:34:00.000-05:00

4th Annual Lawndale 5K Walk / Run

The God of Peace

2011-09-07T08:29:00.003-05:00

Please pray for my neighborhood... we are broken. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-cops-man-shot-killed-in-lawndale-neighborhood-20110906,0,6541481.story

Inspiration Kitchens

2011-07-17T11:49:00.000-05:00

Last Friday our church helped out at HomeCourt. (The highlights included managing kids in a moon bounce and collecting tickets for hot dogs.) I took the green line to the Conservatory stop and walked down Lake Street to the court. I passed a restaurant that I remember someone telling me about, but I didn't realize it was open. Aubrey and I went last Sunday for Brunch and it was incredible and I plan to go alot more now. (you should too!)

Inspiration Kitchens has delicious food and a great mission. Make sure to check the hours before going because there are certain times it is closed for training, but it is so worth going!

Lois' Lawn

2011-07-17T11:39:00.000-05:00

My neighbor Loris really likes to keep her lawn looking nice. She is dedicated to water it every day and sweep the sidewalk. She and her son were out the other day working on their lawn- she called me down to meet him. I asked if I could help her with one thing and the an hour later we are still sweeping, going right down the street because she is a little embarrassed of all the leaves in front of our place.

I was teasing her that she was like a hurricane coming through. She even had us grabbing branches and garbage out of the yucky black water at the edge of the street. (I think I may have got some kind of rat disease from that... hahaha).

She has high standards though- I was sweeping for a bit, trying to get everything perfect so that my work would pass inspection. It checked out OK, but was too slow for Ms Lois, so she took the broom back. :)

Some high school boys made the mistake of throwing trash on her lawn... They heard and earful from her about it! They respect her though which is cool. I look forward to the day when I can be a grandma figure like that... It really is such an honor! I have a long way to go before then though to perfect my sweep stroke.

HOMIE

2011-07-17T11:25:00.000-05:00

If you thought I was estatic before when I had a homie, you can imagine how it is now that I AM A HOMIE!
On 4th of July, Aubrey and I were making our way back from the park watching fireworks and saw some neighbors that I've known the most hanging out on the porch. One of the guys said, "what's up, little homie?" and hugged me and I was just thrilled. :)

Hairy Scarys

2011-07-17T11:12:00.000-05:00

This was in my bed..... it runs fast and it scared the everything out of me. Bleh!

I chased it around my room for about 30 minutes because I HAD to kill it. Maybe that sounds diabolical when it is just a little bug, but there's no way I could sleep if that was on the loose to crawl back into bed with me. It got away for awhile, hiding under my window seat. But I waited for it to come out and when it did, I stomped on it. Then I left the dead one there so all the other bugs would know their fate if they tried to get in bed with me. It hasn't really worked though....a cricket and a spider have both tried to get in my bed... unsuccessfully! What is up with all the recent inscet activity in my bed? It's kind sicking me out.

I found some info online that refers to these guys as "hairy scarys" and claims that they are "harmless, but scary looking."

Nervous Nelly

2011-07-13T00:12:00.000-05:00

Highschool boy:
"This water tastes like bleach!"
(laughter by everyone around)
Me:
"City water... ick!"
Kind man I just met who is attractive enough to make me nervous:
"You don't drink city water?"
Me:
"Well, I guess, but we have a Brita"
Kind man I just met who is attractive enough to make me nervous: (jokingly)
"Oh, you're one of those?!"
Me:
"haha. Yeah... Speaking of Britas, I almost drank a whole one yesterday after this Cardio Punch class I went to at the gym...My abs are so sore and I could hardly get out of bed today."
Me (to myself):
"Oh Wow, smooth transition there killer! You just really wanted him to know you go to the gym...didn't ya?"

LAME! hahaha.

I belong!

2011-06-16T11:51:00.001-05:00

We returned from ACSD on Thursday. Even though I tuckered out a bit after a 9 hour car ride, my body in general was more tired of sitting and eating, so I decided to go to step class.

I sweated my pants off and felt so relieved to be in motion! At the end of class we always pray and recite a motto together while holding hands. :) I've kinda always wanted to volunteer to pray but didn't want to be presumptuous since I am the new kid in the group. This time though Sharon looked at me and asked me to pray! Probably I am more mushy about this than most people would be, but it felt like an initiation of sorts- that now I belonged somehow. What a joy that this place and people I love so much showed (in this small way) that they don't think I'm bad either!

Feeling exhilarated, I walked out to the heifer with my swagger tight. I passed a guy in the window of one of the clinic buildings cleaning. Let me re-phrase: I passed a real good looking man in the window of one of the clinic buildings cleaning. He waved at me and I got all excited to wave back...let's be honest, a little too excited! Somehow instead of waving I stabbed myself right below the lip with my super long nails. It was bleeding and I was wrenching in pain... what a hot first impression right?

With head now out of the clouds, I went home to care for my flirting injury, shower and do laundry.

ACSD in the Ozarks

2011-06-13T11:32:00.001-05:00

June 6th I woke up at 4:30am. 11 hours and alot of quality time in the car with my coworkers later, I was in Springfield, MO for the ACSD conference. This is the first year that my position has been a part of this conference and I was geek-tastically excited about it.

It was so good to be out in the Ozarks and the campus we stayed on was beautiful. The plenary sessions were interesting and even if just personally I was encouraged. I could see it being a really great networking place in the future too for work related things...I just wasn't quite brave enough to mingle apart from my group this year.

I did meet some great people from another college at the opening banquet though. I liked them so much I decided to attend their session held over lunch a few days later. The opening slide flashed up and I knew I was in the wrong place... "being a single RD" hahaha. I am not an RD. oops! At least the single part was right. :)

The planning of the conference tried to incorporate the arts. I am a huge fan of this, but unfortunately I was too immature for some of it. A radio personality man read an excruciatingly descriptive poem about nature... I don't know if it was the bellow of his voice or all the frogs hippity hopping; but I just picked a spot, bit my lip and focused on not chuckling.

One of my fave plenary session speakers was Donna Feitas. She was so interesting and candid and funny- pretty much I want to be her when I grow up. :)

I feel happy of myself!

2011-06-02T12:18:00.000-05:00

It is incredible how happy this video has made me today.... This child is beyond precious!

<a href="http://www.msn.com/?from={from}&amp;videoId=8742ea06-7cae-4c02-983e-69790aa88d0f&amp;from=mmv_mmv_en-US&amp;fg=hub_hpvideo2" target="_new" title="Kid Conquers Challenge And Thinks You Can Too!">Video: Kid Conquers Challenge And Thinks You Can Too!</a>

You Sexy Thing!

2011-05-20T19:47:00.001-05:00

Sara and I spent a good portion of our afternoon walking around Grand Rapids’ eastown district. We browsed through cooking stores and thrift shops and grabbed a latte. We went to a bookstore and visited a few art galleries. The sun was out and we were just slightly warm- it was fantastic!

As we were making our way home, a handful of men on bikes passed us. Once we made eye contact, they tooted their horns at us. Something about the whole experience made me laugh for about a block…bike horns are not usually what I imagine the “smooth operators” using.

I’m excited to spend a few days here on vacation with such a good friend who knows me well. Already we are building a wealth of stories!

Red Badge of Courage

2011-05-18T20:20:00.000-05:00

In general, I like to think of myself as a brave person, but what I am about to tell you pushes the limits even for me…
Sunday was Elizabeth & Sean’s wedding. I was the bridesmaid in a watermelon colored dress that was a bit to snug and I was feeling uncomfortable. BUT a journey song started playing and I really wanted to dance. This scenario presents 2 problems:
1. I don’t know how to dance… and
2. I had no one to dance with
So I marched over to the group of groomsmen standing on the edge of the dance floor and asked if any of them would dance with me….cuz I really loved the song. And, one of them did! We rocked back and forth in a circle a couple times- talked while I gestured wildly with my hands- pretty much as good as one can hope for right?

I know it might sound pathetic, but there was a part of me that was expecting an awkward rejection based on my well endowed thighs and was relieved to find that wasn’t the case. It took more courage than I’d like to admit, but I’m adding it to my list of reality vs. hypothetical fears. Check!

Oooooohhhhhh….

2011-05-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

Tonight the Jr. Higher’s were asking if there was a different God for each country- an India God, an Africa God, etc. When I told them that there is only one God they wanted to know what color he was. We talked about how God is a Spirit, but Jesus had a body. I explained that Jesus was born in Israel so he probably had some of those common middle eastern features…..

In a moment of innocent revelation, one of them exclaimed, “Oooooooooooohhhhh…… so he looked like the people that work at Subway!”

GLUM

2011-05-18T15:00:00.001-05:00

Most things in my life have been great- my job, my family, my new roommate, step class, Bible Study with the Jr. High girls, etcetera, etcetra….

Despite all those good things I’ve been enjoying, I have also been battling with this inner turmoil since Christmas. (Probably why my posts have been anecdotal and overall lame this year…sorry friends).
This inner turmoil largely has to do with trusting that I am loved (or a lack of trusting would be more appropriate). It all started with a sticky situation with a friend, but has ended with me realizing that this fear is a symptom of a more foundational need.

The love of God is a fairly basic theological assumption and truth, I realize, but it’s also something that I come back to again and again with difficulty. Even though I wouldn’t own up to this on a statement of faith, the Lord has revealed a deep mistrust of the enduring faithfulness and affectionate nature of His love for me.
For far too long I have been translating the love of God as His pity for my finite spiritual state and attributing His generosity to His “fair” nature – that He only loves me because He is God and He loves the whole world. That His love would fade and be revealed as just an obligation- an obligation He would resent and grow weary of. I didn’t want to depend too much on the security of His love if He was only going to remove it once He saw my lack of improvement. I’ve harbored this terror of being abandoned by God and by others for such a long time that it started to seem true and normal. And yet in His graciousness, God painfully revealed this dark place in me.

My theology convinces me that the Lord is not the one I need to be concerned about – instead I need to learn to believe and trust His truth in a way that goes beyond the facts. I need to experience His love in my real life and be assured that these significant eternal truths are not just for the future or the spiritual realm only, but they are a part of my everyday reality. I’ve been asking the Lord to replace the fear and expectation I have of being abandoned with His delight instead.

Awhile ago I blogged about being at a coffee shop doing a word study about “delight”. I can say that the results were so different from what I expected but also caused a swelling of hope in me. I expected to find fluffy words about how the Lord thinks I’m beautiful and great and made me special…. but instead I found that the Lord delights in His Word, in His Law, in blamelessness, in the prayer of the upright, in loving-kindness and righteousness. Those who put their delight in the Lord are not put to shame. Over and over again these verses demonstrate the value of delighting in God above anything else. The themes of obedience, truthfulness and waiting on Him have been transforming my perspective lately of what it looks like to delight in God.

Learning on this topic and receiving the healing offered is FAR from over, but I feel in a less fragile enough place to share these words and experiences. God has not failed me….instead through this pain and struggle, I have found the hope and security I am always longing for!

The drought of 2011

2011-05-17T23:18:00.001-05:00

So.... it has been awhile. Sorry about that- I know that at least one someone out there has been missing new posts. As a token of my sincere appreciation to her patience and perseverence in following my adventures (even through this recent drought) I would like to dedicate this post to the one and only mother of my roommate.... CHRISTIE MARTIN!

Disclaimer: Aubrey Martin had no part in choosing the photos for this post... hehehe maybe I'm lying...

Thanks for being a supporter and generally fun Mom. Thanks for coming to step class and Sweet Tomatoes with us and writing articles about whooping cough that inform the masses not to panic. Thanks for being married to Rob and both praying me through to a larger shower. Thanks also for giving birth to Aubrey C Martin; I'm a fan of her.

There's been alot going on in my heart and mind that I haven't been quite ready to release yet. The LORD is ever faithful and teaching me to trust His steadfast love. Many more posts are on their way....pinky promise. :)

April Fools!

2011-04-01T15:32:00.000-05:00

Today is April Fools day. And it is also a Weight Watcher's weigh in day.
It's sadistic I know, but I cannot get over what a funny combination that could be. :)

Hyacinth On-The-Go

2011-03-26T17:42:00.000-05:00

I am writing this post from Caribou Coffee in Oak Park. And yes, that's all this post is about.

The first 2 years of college, I didn't have a laptop and the second 2 years of college the one I was given was too fragile to cart around. So, it may seem really silly, but sitting at a coffee shop and connecting to the wireless internet is a big thrill for me. :) hahaha.

Doing a Word study about delight... more to come....possibly from other locatons. :)

Hey Batter, Batter!

2011-03-17T15:39:00.001-05:00

One night I was traveling on the Pink Line later than the work crowd rush.... Joe and I had tried to go see Louder Than A Bomb but it was sold out. SAD! I still really want to check it out next time it's in the area. Anyway, on the way home I had a conglomeration of strange experiences.

1.) I lost my earring. I was too sad because they were the sparkliest pair I owned.

2.) This man was yelling on his cell (not cool, sir) in a language I could not understand. All the sudden he broke into English accentuating each syllable loudly, "I. HAVE. MONEY. IN. MY. POCKETS!" All I gotta say is, this is the wrong line to be shouting that stuff on.

3.) It was a crowded train and I did not have the best spot for reaching the pole to hang on to. I decided I was seasoned enough at riding the train to just lean up against the car wall and balance. When the train pulls out of the stop it usually jerks once....I was prepared for that one jerk, but this time it jerked twice. I tumbled....TUMBLED! and ended up steadying myself by unknowingly putting my hand into this little old man's lap. How do you even recover from that?! "Sorry" doesn't seem to cut it when you've just gotten to 2nd base with a total stranger on the commute home, you know? (Is it 2nd base or 3rd...I was too afraid to search it on the Internet. There seems to be some discrepancy in the public knowledge pool. Who decides these things anyway?)

PS- I found my lost earring when I got home. SPARKLES forever!

Good Luck!

2011-03-17T09:23:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a bad day.... work was funky, jr. highers were extra hyper, and I wore nylons all day. So it wasn't the end of the world, but it was enough to discourage me.

This morning I wanted everything to be fresh and new- maybe it was...I didn't have time to pay attention to it. Forgot to set my alarm last night...(Usually I am on the train by 7:15am) Today I woke up at 7:23. oops.

Sitting at work now feeling a little grungy cuz showering was not an option. As I left the office to grab a muffin and some chocolate milk for breakfast I ran into a door. Not like the "whew! I just caught myself and I hope nobody saw that" kind of ran into the door; the "Shoot! I just slammed my toes and nose against this wooden plank and I know everybody saw that" kind of ran into the door. hahahahaha. awesome.

Cyril told me I should have wore green clothes- Maybe that would've helped my luck this morning.
At least there is step class tonight. hallelujah!

New Snack of Choice

2011-03-16T12:33:00.001-05:00

Found this the other day on my way home from work. It made me laughed the whole block home. Enjoy!
RAP SNACKS:

I love everything about this!
Stay in School
Bar-b-quin' with my HONEY


"The official snack of hip hop"

Zipitty Zipcar!

2011-03-16T11:46:00.000-05:00

HAPPY PACZKI DAY!

(Yes I may be posting this after the fact, but my joy is as full now as then.)

I haven't been able to find my camera in awhile...otherwise you would see a picture of just how amazing Paczki Day was. For now, imagine me and Joe at 6:30am (it's not pretty I know, but this day improves my mood that early- promise!) standing beside a Sentra that is "orange" (really really extremely burnt orange) with 4 boxen of Paczki!

Those 4 dozen paczki were gone pretty quick here at work. One of the women even referred to me as 'the paczki fairy!' hahahaha. I am totally embracing that high calling and cannot wait to do it again next year. Thinking that a few more boxes will be necessary.

BTW, Zipcar was so great.... I love that their cars all have names! It was no coincidence that "my" "orange" Sentra was named SERENDIPITY! We love each other...pretty much. If you don't own a car, but you like to have one sometimes, you should join. It is super easy! Next year, let's all drive our zipcars to get paczkis. We will need the extra cargo space. :)

TAP, CHANGE!

2011-03-16T11:13:00.000-05:00

I'm hooked... obsessed...in love...cannot get enough of STEP CLASS!

It's been about a month now and seriously - it is making all my fitness dreams come true. I have truly always wanted to go to a step class but never got up the courage or had the right time available. Now that I've started though I don't think I can stop.

I like how basic it is, but also varied so I am never bored. And, let's be honest- it kicks my butt EVERY TIME.I like the lingo....and the signs....and the counting....and the music...and the instructor's headset mic...pretty much everything!

My new fave thing to do is look up step class videos on youtube. This one is my fave right now. hahahaha. Not only is it entertaining (like the ones from the 80's), but it also gets me excited for all the advancing you could do on it. There are an endless amount of combos of moves you could do... it is fantastic!

My goal is to add a riser to the board by the end of the month... it is ridiculous how giddy I am about the thought of this. :) hahahaa. Everyone, go join a step class! Or at least watch some youtube videos of it! :)

Been a Minute

2011-03-15T12:18:00.000-05:00

So it's been a awhile since I posted on here. Oops! Sorry Mom.

The new developments this month were minimally epic:
1. Joscey and I introduced Aubey and Mariah to Andrew Peterson & the Captain's Courageous. Pretty much our BFF's. hahaha. We're counting on Elmhurst Christian Reformed to bring "Behold The Lamb" back to the Chicagoland area in 2012. Bless them if they do!

2. The Agave plant at the Garfield Park Conservatory is blooming. It may not sound like a big deal; but this plant only blooms ever 50 years. It is pretty awesome- as well as their show room full of blankets of colorful Spring flowers.

3. I am wearing a new scent of deodorant. Shower Clean and I have been together for many years now and I was hesitant to switch, but after visiting 3 Walgreens with no success; I was desperate. Fresh Oxygen and I are getting along really well. What if I go to Walgreens next time and they have both scents? What will I do? Will I go back to the familiar or stick with the exotic?

4. My parents visited and we had a blast. We spent a significant amount of time in Cicero at the Home Depot, Menards and Target. My bedroom has curtains, the armoire has doors and the living room has a rug now! It's pretty fantastic and homey and really generous of my parents to spend their vacation days helping me out. The parents came to Girls Got Game with my on Saturday and it was fun to have my Dad run the games. He is such a ham- the girls loved him. Additionally, I will need a few weeks (at least 1) to recover from the eating frenzy that was this weekend. It was just like being home... in a good way... a really good and delicious way!

5. Bowling is my new favorite pastime. I have to say that I have improved much since the days at Strikers in high school. I bowled above 100 both times which is probably a world record or something for me. (Let's not pretend like I don't know my exact scores: 153 and 139. XXX!) Dad would be incredibly proud of all the "shaking hands" I was doing.

6. The final touches have been put on the online housing process. And I am so excited for the students to use it in 2 weeks. I told a coworker the other day that I felt like I was birthing this! Blood, sweat and tears have gone into this year long project and I am DELIGHTED to have it accomplished. I am such a nerd that work made my updates. :)

7. I can now say that I have done a Beth Moore Bible study like all the other good Christian women out there. I kinda laughed when I came up with that as a solution, but this workbook is NO JOKE. It is packed with truth that I am so grateful for...still finding places of healing and disbelief the Lord is working on in my heart. Thankful He is doesn't see how long this sanctification process is taking and give up on me. He is wonderfully patient and faithful.

The Return of Joe Bob

2011-01-14T15:44:00.001-06:00

Remember this guy? he's baaaaa-aaaack! (cue horror movie music)

It's been a minute since our last encounter and I'm thinking he probably got the point after his attempt at courtship failed. As my Dad would say though, "You can't think, you gotta know!" Well, now I do....too well in fact.

ME & JOE BOB: polite chit chat (good morning, cold out here, just going to work, etc.)
JOE BOB: You have a cute little pug nose.
ME: thanks? (really seriously again?!)
JOE BOB: I love little pug noses. You got a boyfriend?
ME: No (Completely stunned by this unpleasant deja vu)
JOE BOB: I better watch myself, right? You know, I get turned on by pug noses
ME: Sir, I am not interested. That is enough (WTH!?!?!?! Someone get this man a pug nose dog so I can make a quick escape)
JOE BOB: Not interested. Why not? I could make you interested. I know how to do that- I can fix TV's if their broken and I'm a very smart person.
ME: (Silence, trying to stare off into space hoping he will get the hint)
JOE BOB: You got any kids? I have 3 (Yes, I know, we've had this conversation before little guy- and all 3 are older than me)
JOE BOB: You like to cook.
ME: (I was weak and just nodded my head in affirmation trying not to give in, but feeling so rude for ignoring him completely)
JOE BOB: ooooohhhhhh... girl don't tell me that! Do you make biscuits?
ME: (Nodding my head again-negative, trying not to laugh because I was already planning this blog post)
JOE BOB: (20 more uncomfortable minutes of riding the train being "complimented" on my little pug nose, people around were beginning to take notice, why didn't anyone save me?!?!)

Friendly reminder to self: make sure not to get on the later train. It is at a shift change....bad news
Friendly reminder to gals with cute little pug noses: Avoid the Kedzie Pink Line stop in the AM. :)

Points Plus

2011-01-14T13:18:00.001-06:00

It's a new year and with it a new go around with Weight Watchers for me.
I re-joined online while eating a Butterfinger this morning. Classy, right? I know.

I'm expecting big things....and you should too. (or small-ER things may be more appropriate)Ask me how it's going so I don't flake out. And do not let me near Butterfingers.

Adventure on Madison

2010-12-11T20:47:00.002-06:00

SETTING THE SCENE
On Wednesday I was driving the Jr. High gals home after Bible study. One lives pretty far out and so we started heading west down Madison. Just past Cicero (you know, right where the road is significantly sketchy) there is this loud KNOCK on the bottom of the van. Poor Fillup the Heifer. :( It was so loud and jarring I thought maybe we dropped the transmission or something, but we still had power, so really I had no idea what happened. I pulled over and told the girls to stay in the van while I walked around and looked under it. I couldn't see anything strange---no fire, no smoke, no hanging parts, no flat tires....hmmm.

THE PLOT THICKENS
I hear a man behind me shouting "It's back here!" and pointing at the ground. He picks up a chunk of steel and holds it up for me to see. Ohhhh... the muffler finally fell off. So I start ~~walking~~ limping toward him and the muffler. Thankfully he had gloves on and was able to pick it up even though it was hot. He offered to bring the muffler to the van since I didn't have gloves on... how kind, right?

THE PLOT TAKES A TERRIBLE SPIRAL DOWNWARDS
As we are walking back to the van, the "kind Samaritan" says to me: "Normally I would ask for money for something like this..." (REALLY!?!?!) "But I'm a real nice guy, so you know I won't ask you for anything" (Well that's good, cuz I don't have any money to give you) As soon as that was done, he said to me "So, are you alone?" (Creepiest question I have ever been asked, any chance I could outrun him in this boot....?) As he set the muffler down in the van in slow motion he told the girls to put his number in their phone. AND YOU'RE DONE!

Facts of (my) Life:

2010-12-11T19:12:00.003-06:00

1. I met a man named Attila this week. Like the Hun! CRAZY!
2. The fire alarm at work started going off and I got excited to wear my safety vest, but then it stopped suddenly. What a tease!
3. I am on the CTA’s hot list. No seriously…apparently requesting a new card automatically deactivates your current card and the attendant assumes you have stolen it. I was going to make up an elaborate story about how I jumped the turnstiles, etc to get on CTA’s “most wanted” list, but I couldn’t come up with anything to be the etc.
4. The is an alarm clock called the Wake N’Bacon that you put a piece of frozen bacon in the night before and then you wake up to the smell of freshly cooked bacon. Who loves bacon? AWESOME!
5. I travelled the distance to visit my friendly podiatrist today. All I could do is shake my head as I mapped out the way to get there. How did I end up there last week?
He removed the cast. WOOHOO!
He also told me to leave the boot on a few more days. BOOHOO!
6. COUNTDOWN TO SEEING ALLI: 4 DAYS!
7. I went to prayer meeting the other night with Joscey. (Note: She is really spiritual and influenced me to do that instead of go to Sweet Tomatoes with a coupon. Good woman!) We left the heifer at home with Dave so he could put antifreeze in it while we were gone. One the way home I text him a little reminder asking if he got a chance to “fill up” the van. I read it aloud and Joscey thought I was referring to the van as Phillip the Heifer. I really think that name should stick….but spell it Fillup. I do love to name things.
8. The boots really are waterproofed! Let me know if you need anything waterproofed. I am a master at it- apparently!
9. Today is Noelle's birthday and I just love that girl! A true friend is one that loves you through all those crazy life stages- Noelle had had the "joy" of seeing me through some rough ones...oversized Winne the Pooh t-shirts and American flag culottes with matching scrunchie...you know! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!

Snow Globe

2010-12-04T12:39:00.001-06:00

Laying on my bed with my left foot propped up on a stack of blankets with the window blinds open, I feel as though I am in the midst of a snow globe. So I put on Rosie Thomas’ Christmas album and am enjoying the winter wonderland pretty well.

In preparation for this snowy time of year I bought waterproofing spray for my fake ugg boots from Payless. (BOGO!) This morning I put on the first coat – I think it was a success. I’ll let you know on Monday.

At the end of summer, I started reading through Anne of Green Gables series. Though I love the movies, I never took the time to read the books. They have been DELIGHTFUL! I am now on book 5… looking forward to this wedding.

Since being in the boot, Hyacinth and I have watched 2 seasons of HGTV’s DesignStar and some of Samantha Who? on Hulu. Yes, I am so bored….out of my mind!

Now, I am convinced what a gift mobility is- one that I am determined not to take for granted for a long time after this experience. It takes a million times more effort to haul yourself places and so much longer to get around on CTA. It is teaching me quite a bit about patience – which I could stand to learn a few things about I admit- so that’s a plus.

COUNTDOWN TO GETTING THIS CAST OFF: 7 DAYS!

COUNTDOWN TO SEEING ALLI: 11 Days!

Feet

2010-12-01T22:57:00.000-06:00

I came back from Thanksgiving in Michigan with my family on Monday and I was a hot mess. Now, I know people say that all the time, but really I was the epitome of this description. 2 suitcases, a purse and a Christmas tree is alot to juggle on public transit... and I'm sure watching me made more than one person's day on the el platform. You're welcome. Despite running into posts and persons and moving my gear to my spot on the train 1 piece at a time, I made it home and was never happier to sit on my bed with Hyacinth and catch up on the latest Internet happenings. Sometime between that blissful moment and the one when I decided to go grocery shopping in a downpour my left foot started killing. I pushed through the pain and hauled all my groceries in but found myself hobbling more and more throughout the night.

The next day it was excruciating and close to impossible to walk on. I stayed home from work and attempted to get medical help for my foot and my cold- did I mention I had a cold...? HOT MESS. I told you. I took the heifer (my affectionate name for our 15 passenger church van) to the community clinic. They were so kind, but the woman I saw did not leave me convinced she knew what the problem was or how to fix it. so I called a podiatry office or two to make an appointment. The problem was they were booked to Christmas.

I was frazzled that my problem could not be fixed in 2 seconds- that's about my patience level for things like that. I need progress and facts and treatment plans and solutions- not rest and pain meds. I was determined to go home and find some place where I could see a foot doctor. I tried hard to get home...SO HARD, but somehow I got super turned around and before you knew it I was so far from home and had no idea how to get back there. See my route below: A= Doctor's, B=Point of hopelessness and anger and tears and construction, C= my home

View Larger Map

At point B, in the midst of all my chagrin.... an impressive amount of it too I might add... I saw a sign for a foot doctor's office. Feeling aggressive from all the chagrin, I turned in the parking lot in front of the steam roller working on the road and went to the office to see if they happened to be seeing new patients and if they had any openings.... right now. :) Can you believe they did? And that the staff LOVE Jesus and Moody? And they took my pain really seriously and did x-rays and gave me a soft cast and a boot to wear around for a week or so? And the office is super old school and the doctor tapped my foot before leaving and I felt like one of his grandkids? How does that even happen?
I felt a considerable amount of relief from the pain and should have been elated with this development; which I was...for awhile. But I felt discouraged by all the extra work lugging this boot around would be, and suddenly didn't find feeling like a hot mess very amusing and the next thing I knew I was laying on my bed in the "depths of despair". bleh!

Joscey called me just then and offered to come over later that night. It might sound silly, but I felt so incredibly loved and like I belonged that she would do that in the midst of her busy family life. That she would come and bring me dinner and a hug and listen to me drone on about all my fears and failings and pray with me. I was reminded by her kindness that this is how God cares for me... Too often I find myself wallowing in self pity because I don't have a spouse or a family and am alone in life.(wah.wah. wah.) But really that is such a pathetic and ungrateful attitude because in every moment I need someone, God provides me with a member of His body; sometimes a hand,other times ...a foot. :)

All Things New

2010-11-22T21:54:00.000-06:00

I ate a juicy delicious cantaloupe for dinner tonight. Thinking of and loving Grandpa....SO MUCH!

Hope Floats

2010-11-21T22:18:00.001-06:00

At some point in my life I have seen this movie, but all I remember about it is Sandra Bullock line dancing while Harry Connick Jr. twitches his lip in sync with his eyebrow. The title is applicable to my thoughts tonight even if I have no idea what it has to do with boot scoot boogies in Hollywood.

There is something poetic about hope…it undoubtedly keeps us afloat at times; keeps us from throwing in the proverbial towel. In the spiritual arena we have such grand hopes- heaven, glory, righteousness, calling, salvation, eternal life, light, justice, etc. I have my list of frivolous earthly hopes too- a husband, children, a guesthouse with paned windows, trim down 50 pounds, etc. Though I know the only ones guaranteed to me are the spiritual ones, there is a quality in all of them that causes me to look forward and press on toward the future.

These hopes feel like a double edged sword at times to me though. Waiting for faith to be made sight seems to take FOREVER and I find myself losing heart that they will ever be realities after all. It makes me feel impatient and weary to imagine keeping that flame of hope flickering any longer.

Ever since my grandpa died 2 years ago I have had this uncanny ability to choose really great cantaloupes. He had a knack for choosing a good one himself. He also used to torment the old women at the fruit market, doing everything short of a dance to test out the melons while watching them copy his “technique” out of the corner of his eye. It’s nothing superstitious, but a gift nonetheless to cut into one and be reminded of what a great grandpa I had. Last week I bought a cantaloupe from Pete’s market. I cut into it to find it was hard and dry and terrible. It may seem silly but it devastated me.

When I came back to Chicago from a family fun weekend in Kalamazoo, my house was here waiting for me. Everything was in the exact spot I left it, it was silent and there was no one to welcome me home. I felt so small and insignificant….and forgotten. Being spoiled with affection around my family for a couple days and then coming back to all my stuff was a stark contrast. Don’t get me wrong, I have a very full and meaningful life but sometimes the loneliness makes me anxious about the future.

Walt Disney, Sandra and Harry failed to mention that hoping is hard work; that it takes grit and determination and the power of the Holy Spirit. It is a beautiful thing that I cling to even though on some nights it is only by a thread. God’s promises are secure and one day we will not need hope any longer. Our longing and waiting will be over and we will see Him face to face!

This thirsty soul drinks in the comfort of that surety.

2 Corinthians 4:16| Therefore, we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

SAFETY FIRST

2010-11-04T15:40:00.000-05:00

Practicing blowing my whistle

That's right.... you should all be jealous. Today at work I was appointed FLOOR MONITOR! If there is a fire...or a fire drill I have to put on this vest, blow my whistle and make sure all in my office complex vacate to safety.


Can't hide from saftey

My new role reminds me of this video

"Be where you should be, not where you shouldn't!"

This.Is.Amazing!

2010-10-29T08:46:00.000-05:00

David Crowder Band-SMS (Shine)

You dropped your pants!

2010-10-27T13:40:00.000-05:00

Imagine me running after a man down Wells street with a mega soda from Subway in one hand and a copy of Anne of Avonlea in the other shouting, "Excuse me! Sir! Sir! You dropped your pants!"

If you had been walking down Wells street at lunch time today you would not have had to imagine... A pair of jeans fell out of this dedicated jogger's unzipped backpack and landed right at my feet. Obligated by sympathy I scooped them up and tried to catch him since the ipod was impairing his hearing. (Apparently he was not expecting anyone running after him shouting about pants.)

So a lesson for all of you... a word to the wise... zip up your pants before running at lunch otherwise, you'll drop them!

Aragorn Strumming on the Old Banjo

2010-10-19T14:38:00.003-05:00

When I started the last post I had no intention of writing about men. Not sure how that happened...(wah!wah! Bring on all your witty reasons.)

What I meant to write about the concert, was that Andrew Peterson was talking about hope and despair. He was describing a scene from Lord of the Rings (forgive me for not remembering exactly which one… they are ALL so epic). Long story short: someone almost gave up but then didn’t because something/someone intervened and then everyone was victorious.

Andrew pointed out that to despair is to assume that we know the end of our story, but we really don't. At any moment something could happen or someone could show up and it could totally change the course of things. And so despite the dire circumstances or the darkness or the hurt, there is ALWAYS cause to hope.I know the details are a little hazy, but the point stands out in my mind.

I was reading through some old journals a few weeks ago and was struck with how many times I said the same old things.... every time thinking they were original or groundbreaking. Oh well- at least I am consistent. :) I wished somehow that from my current place in life could have spoken to the Rachel who penned some of those hopeless words; wished in those moments of despair and loneliness I could have told her what hope and light was coming round the mountain (with Dinah...haha).

Also, quote from my journal Summer 2008 after seeing Lord of the Rings for the first time: "How did I ever live without this epic narrative in my life?"

For the love of the weekend...and men

2010-10-19T11:11:00.000-05:00

Last weekend rocked my face off… no seriously, there were so many favorite things packed into one weekend that my little heart could hardly contain it all:

Fall colors and a walk through the park – check!

Derek & Sandra concert – check!

A drive to Naperville at sunset – check!

Girls running club – check!

The marathon – check!

Spending time with so many good friends – check!

Tastee Freeze – check!

The Amazing Race – check!

Andrew Peterson concert – check!

Tag team story telling – check!

Praise and worship with the church – check!

Deep sleep – check!

My heart may burst just from reading this list back!

Saturday night’s Andrew Peterson concert was such a gift. Andy Gullahorn and Ben Shive came too and all three were wearing plaid.

3rd row seats courtesy of the most generous Dave & Joscey!

I don’t know these men personally, but there is something so rare about them that comes through in their music. Their love of the Gospel, of Jesus is so apparent and I find myself thirsty to know the Word more. Their humor and honesty about themselves leaves you with no doubts that they are regular guys- though more poetic than most.

Oh dear- I feel like this is turning into a fan post and that’s not really what I want it to be at all.

The media and the world is so quick to exalt and measure men by their harshness of power; and I just appreciate that these guys manage to avoid the trappings of that mentality and focus on the cross instead. Don’t get me wrong, I love a strong man as much as the next gal, but I think there is something skewed about the expectations men feel; whether it’s from women or the church or the world or even themselves. I couldn’t really explain to you why men are always such a passion subject for me. For what it’s worth though: I really want to see men have the freedom to glory in their Redeemer; to serve and speak and love and lead from that place.

In every ministry I have been a part of, in every brokenness I have experienced or witnessed, there is a unique role in healing that only men can play. Sadly, too often men of God are absent from this process. I’m not sure why that is… Men, don’t you know how vital you are? Have you never considered how cool you are? You hiking, biking, money making, bicep curling men out there? (lest this list exclude you, please insert your –ing activity of choice)Seriously, the church needs you, the family needs you, the Westside of Chicago needs you, the world needs you! Please don’t hide. We think you are really great. REALLY GREAT!

I’m pretty sure only women read my blog, so this is not a very effective medium for my gushing. Maybe I should go climb a mountain and shout this…or the rooftop perhaps? :) [insert Fiddler on the Roof song here!]

Petition

2010-10-18T12:17:00.000-05:00

A friend recently interviewed me about my educational experience for a paper. I do have a varied educational experience- private school, public school and home learning. :)

As I talked stream of consciousness about my time at Armada Elementary School, I was struck with what a terrible child I was and how many schemes I came up with there. You all my not believe it because I am so great now (hahahaha), but my poor mother. I wonder if she knew what she was getting into by teaching me at home. :)

Here are a few favorites, terribly embarrassing favorites:
1. In 2nd grade, buying a recorder from the 4th grade class while I was supposed to be "in the bathroom." I didn't know how to sneak it back into my classroom, so I shoved it down a pant leg. Yeah, the ones with the stirrups on the feet. I had gotten $3 from my Mom for it- told her it was a requirement for school. (Which it was for the 4th graders) I came home and showed her what I had "learned" about playing the recorder. I think I tried to keep up that act for about a week. :)
2. In 1st grade, throwing an absolute tantrum while my mom tried to bundle me into a snowsuit. I still remember the sobering conversation my Mom had with me about being a bad testimony. I wish Mrs. Holleweg could see how well behaved I am now.
3. Offering to clean the gym at recess for a couple weeks straight and was really just playing in there with Jean Marie Belvedere instead. How did I pull that off?
4. Going to the music lab for the last time slot of the day. I wanted to keep playing that interactive musical computer game for more than my allotted 15 minutes, so I kept turning the timer back. Apparently while I was do-ra-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do-ing the whole school was looking for me & the bus was waiting on me. oops!

All time favorite terribly embarrassing memory from Elementary:
I hated recess. Isn't that sad? I never knew what to do or who to hang out with though so it was always awkward for me. Most times I stood and talked to the adult monitor. A few times I remember doing something with a group- like pretending to be newscasters or eating bark. Yeah, some kid named Daryl convinced us it was very nutritious. Once I got in trouble for saying the word "hell" when telling another girl about Jesus. (You should have seen my defiance when I was confronted by a teacher... you would have thought I was being marched out to the guillotine!)

Anyway, at recess one day I noticed some rust on the swing set and suddenly I had this bright idea of what I could do at recess. I started a petition for the swings to be replaced. I was sure that the rust was evidence of a million safety violations and I was determined to right this injustice! :) hahahahaha. Despite the passionate and convicted speech I offered, my classmates were less than concerned. I was sure they were just afraid of getting in trouble though- apparently I was the only one with enough guts to zealously stand against the administration...to fight the system...to defend the cause of the weak! I promise I am not exaggerating how noble an endeavor I thought this was.

Knowing that "the man" who was actually a woman would not take me seriously on my own I devised a plan to work the audience- for their own benefit of course. I started offering candy bars to everyone who would sign my petition and suddenly my page was filling up with names. Next to their name they wrote their candy bar choice. :) I was all politician in my youth though and had no intention of giving anyone a candy bar.

I left the petition for Principal M and went back to class. At the end of the day, she came to my classroom and took me to the hall for a chat. She asked me if I really thought the swings were a danger. I told her solemnly that I did. She told me that she would send the maintenance men out to inspect them regularly. She seemed to be taking this as seriously as I had hoped. She even put me in charge of reporting any swings whose condition was getting worse to her right away. A smart woman.

The next week I got so many demands from my classmates for candy bars, I decided I would have to follow through. So I went home and told my Mom very matter of factly I needed 50 candy bars. :) haaaaaaaaaaa! If you know my Mom you know how she responded. After an initial "WHAT?" and my explanation of things; she marched me through Sam's club muttering under her breath about how I was giving her gray hair and was going to be the death of her and next time I should think before making promises and no daughter of hers was going to not keep her word. She put a giant bag of assorted fun size candy bars into the cart. I opened my mouth to argue that they were supposed to be full size and give the list of the kinds I needed. I closed it right away though because I saw that look in my mom's eye. I knew I had a better chance of talking Jean Marie into a Snickers than persuading my Mom to get something else. Si se puta!

Running & Hemorrhaging

2010-10-18T11:02:00.000-05:00

Only the Lord's sense of humor could have determined that girls running club would become such a huge and favorite part of my life.The season is getting close to the end and that makes me a little sad.

We ran our first 5k about a month ago. I ran with Niema and quickly learned how motivating a few silly bands can be. :) There were signs set up along the way- some with inspirational quotes, others with fun facts about the neighborhood. Niema and I welcomed the distraction to get our minds off running. One of them said that running asks of you every day if you are strong...Niema told the sign to "Shhhh!" Another one had a Bible passage on it from Romans. Something about suffering producing perseverance. Niema asked what that meant and so we ran and talked about it. When I asked her what suffering was she said, "THIS!" :) haha. It was so great to have such a rich conversation that came about so naturally. So thankful that the Word of God has everything to do with real life.

Our church started Bible studies for kids and youth this Fall. I really love the Jr. High age group, but we only had 1 Jr. Higher in our church. So we opened it up to the girls in running club and that has been a BLAST! Tamika is leading the group with me and teaching them a praise dance to perform. I tried to follow along last week and got laughed at, so I will now be in the cheering section of the dance troop. :) Right now we are talking about our image and identity. Pray for these young women who are getting so many mixed message from the media and their peers; that God alone would define them. It is such a deep lesson that I know I am still learning... pray that it would really take root in their hearts and minds.

You could also pray that they would be convinced they are not all hemorrhaging. :) Wednesday's lesson was about the woman in this condition who touched Jesus and was healed. On the way home, everyone was still very concerned they might "have that."

Peculiar Loves

2010-10-03T23:33:00.002-05:00

Tonight I told a friend that I have peculiar loves….and since then I’ve been listing them all in my brain. So here are some…feel free to add any more that you know that I have forgotten.
Nova Scotia
This place is fantastically colorful and ALIVE and I can’t wait to go there sometime!
Andrew Peterson
He is playing a show in Chicago on ~~FRIDAY~~ SATURDAY and I’m thrilled to be attending with dear friends (though I will miss Alli at my side).
Slurpees
After a 2 month hiatus, I had one of these this weekend. SO CHILL!
Barry Manilow
What can I say? The man writes the songs that make the whole world sing! Alli sent me an autobiography of his last month and I laughed and screamed with delight. There is a pictorial section with baby barry and bar mitzvah barry… AWESOME!
Literal Version Videos
Seriously fantastic and make me laugh… no matter how many times I have watched them. “I’m not afraid of heights when I wear leather pants!” bahahahaha!
Hairy, Balding MenGoogle searching this was too ridiculous… so here’s a photo instead of a link.

Chicago (the city & the band!)
Peter Cetera’s voice just cannot be replicated…glory of love….so epic!
90’s music
All of it… I love it! The end.
Smadar Livine
Favorite. artist. EVER! I especially love the bright colors she uses. The details and subtlety of the painting’s significance are such a treat to look at. Maybe someday I will inherit a billion dollars and buy an original.
The Amazing Race
This year I’m rooting for the Home Shopping Network gals… could be the winners!!! :)
Anderson Cooper
He’s serious and intelligent and hosted “The Mole” way back in the day.
Excel
I know it’s incredibly nerdy, but I do love it so much. It comes up more often in conversation than I would like to admit. :) I’m embracing it though.

SIDENOTE: I am listening to a Peter Cetera Playlist on YouTube while writing this. “Couldn’t stand to be kept away, just for the day, from your body…”

Fall
No need to explain this much… you know it’s your fave season too. :)
The Moon
I’m not entirely sure how it started…but the moon has become such a reassurance and reminder of God “seeing” me. It is wonderful to know that though I am small- I am significant enough to the Creator to be fully known.
Bridges over waterThis is how this all got started…As we were walking around Douglas Park tonight there was a bridge over water I got inexplicably excited about. I have a feeling that it has something to do with this favorite moment from Anne of Avonlea…

Hyacinth

2010-09-29T22:17:00.002-05:00

My new computer has a cool new blog program …and I am testing it out. My computer’s name is Hyacinth. She’s pretty rockin awesome.

The Commute: flirty

2010-09-29T11:48:00.000-05:00

When I first moved and was being more responsible to get on the "early" train, I would always see the same CTA worker in the mornings. We'll call him Joe Bob. He was a real jolly guy who always referred to be as Ms. Monroe, because of my remarkable resemblance to Marilyn Monroe. (hahahhaa. Yes, I am being sarcastic!And Yes, he really called me that!) Well, I thought it was cute coming from an older grandfatherly man and made me feel special on the days when I was tripping up the escalator, feeling like a hot mess, emailing Saudi Arabia and such.

UNTIL....

One morning I took the "later" train when Joe Bob was getting off his shift. So we stood on the platform chatting about the weather and other miscellaneous socially acceptable tokens. There was a lull and I took a moment to look and see if the train was coming yet. Still nothing. When I looked back to Joe Bob, he seemed more sober than I remember our conversation requiring.
JOE BOB: I've been waiting a long time to tell you this...
ME: oh... (laughing nervously and totally unable to imagine what it might be)
JOE BOB: You are beautiful. I love your hair....(reaches out and touches my hair)
ME: (Completely stunned and speechless)
JOE BOB: I'm sorry I couldn't resist. I better watch myself, right?
ME: Yeah (akwardly and slowly backing up, look for the train. STILL NOTHING)
JOE BOB: I noticed you because you have a great smile and your ass isn't hanging out of your pants like the other girls on this block. Where do you stay at?
ME: Um, over on 19th and Kedzie (A generic street corner near my house)
JOE BOB: Well, are you married, got a boyfriend or kids?
ME: No. No. No. (Wishing I could've lied...) How about you?
JOE BOB: I'm not married and I've got three kids who are grown now.
ME: How old are they? (Hoping this question would spark some measure of logic and reason)
JOE BOB: Oh, 43, 37 and 31.
ME: Oh... that's nice. How old are you? (Breathing easy because surely he realizes I am younger than his children and surely saying his own age will make everything click)
JOE BOB: I'm 65. So, do you think I could come over sometime and pick you up and we could do something together?
ME: Uhhh... (laughing nervously again) Well, I'm not anywhere near 65.
JOE BOB: It doesn't matter how old you are- it only matters how old you feel.
THE TRAIN ARRIVES!
JOE BOB: I like to do real nice things like watch TV and we could eat dinner together. Or I could come sit on the step with you. (Standing close to me on the train)
ME: No, I don't think so. Sorry, I'm not interested!
JOE BOB: No? Really? Alright well... (putting his hand over mine) Be sweet baby.(He goes and sits down)
ME: OK thanks.

So step aside all you 65 year old single ladies.... Apparently I'm what the men are looking for in that age bracket. :)

The Commute

2010-09-29T10:32:00.000-05:00

Every weekday morning I play a game of time with the snooze button and the train schedule.

This morning I won. (insert evil, victorious laughter here) Last night you would have thought I was defeated though.... I forgot to set my alarm. oops! At 7:01am, I woke up. To my credit; I did not panic, just did what needed to be done and was at the train station by 7:14am. The train came by 7:15am! Somehow I managed to get on the "early" train to work! This train should probably be referred to more accurately as the "responsible, get to work 10 minutes early" train. Instead I usually take the "just need to put on deodorant before leaving and arrive at work right on time" train.

Last week I set 2 new records for the commute home- the shortest and the longest. 25 minutes and 65 minutes. The longest commute was 40 minutes of being delayed because of signal clearance.... 40 minutes of CTA apologizing for the inconvenience...40 minutes of me imagining the previous afternoon's ride... 40 minutes of additional people watching.

To date, my favorite sight from the el was of an older man with a pet squirrel who was doing tricks on the platform to entertain those waiting. It was a kind of bizarre circus act that you couldn't look away from... a bizarrely AWESOME circus. :)

9 days

2010-09-29T10:08:00.002-05:00

We're down to single digits..... till ANDREW PETERSON!

Sat Oct 9, 2010

Chicago, IL / Christian Fellowship Free Church

Show 6:00 PM / Doors 5:00pm / Map

3425 N. Damen
Chicago, IL 60657

Free Concert / Love Offering
More Info: 312-666-4400

An Ode to CEF

2010-09-22T09:05:00.003-05:00

I was asked to write this for an upcoming banquet in my local area... and thought it might be cool to share.

At 8 years old (as I often am in stories about my childhood) I sat in Junior Church listening to Jim Wisman tell a story about a gutsy woman, illustrated in pink and white, who loved the Lord. She loved Him so much that she served Him from the time she was a teenager in Scotland to the time of her death in Calabar, (now known as the New Hebrides Islands). I admired her courage and wanted to be just like her… You may be familiar with this story as that of Mary Slessor. Though I didn’t realize it was a CEF lesson at the time, it was already influencing my mind and heart.

My parents hosted a 5 Day club (also when I was 8 years old!) and I remember singing the songs along with the Sumer Missionary, Aaron Schmuck. I invited neighbor friends and was exuberant to see some of them come to Christ.

A little older than 8 now, I remember watching Tom Bump (the director at the time) make balloon creatures and teach us a peculiar song that had A LOT of words, but none on the visual. At a youth group event a few years later, Tom shared how we could be trained to teach the Gospel at a camp called SMA. My best friend Noelle Kimberley was going, so I decided to tag along. Only the Lord could have known how that week in 1999 would change my life!

For the next 6 years, CEF and I were inseparable! I attended CYIA the next few summers as a student, student staff and then intern. I taught clubs all over Michigan, drove summer missionaries around in the white van my parents let me use- affectionately known as the “CEF-mobile”, spoke at churches, scheduled clubs, helped with VBS, taught Good News Club, worked at the fair, went to committee meetings, helped with TCE demonstrations and even went to Kenya to partner in CYIA training there. Throughout these 6 years, I was blessed to meet so many of you who are sitting here tonight!

The Lord used CEF to shape and mold me as a teenager. Whether it was a long talk with Carol Horn while we cleaned out the office basement, or prayer with Helen Stroh from the committee while we cut verse tokens, whether it was listening to a child pray in their own words to show their belief in Jesus or listening to the Summer Missionaries over lunch celebrate what God was doing; I was discipled by this ministry. I learned what the body of Christ really was as I saw families opening their homes to the kids in the neighborhood- making eternal connections with them! And as churches and individuals cared for me too- financially supporting my summer endeavors or covering me in prayer.

In August 2004, I moved to Chicago to attend Moody Bible Institute. Every student there has a Practical Christian Ministry that they are involved with each week. My PCM (for short) was teaching a Good News Club in a southwest neighborhood of the city called Lawndale. We met in the Werner family’s back yard and tried as best we could to stick to the curriculum. My partner and I found that these kids had so many questions- and lacked a foundation in the Word. They were not quite ready for the stories of Joshua and Judges; so we adjusted to the basics of Creation and Who God is and what Prayer is and we saw light in some of their eyes. The Werner family moved overseas and I got involved in some other ministries in the city. I started attending a house church on Chicago’s West side and would teach the children there every few weeks. CEF was never far from my mind though, the training of IPEAR is innately ingrained into my soul! No matter the venue (Teaching children, giving a meal and testimony to the homeless, mentoring college students as an RA), God’s truth changes lives. That’s what I learned from CEF.

Fast forward to May 2008. I graduated from Moody Bible Institute and made this crazy decision to stay in the city… where sadly you cannot see the stars shine like at home in Memphis. I was an international ministries major preparing for the foreign mission field and then found myself living downtown and working at my alma mater in the Vice President of Student Services office instead. I had a regular income and benefits and running water- all things I had been preparing myself to do without.

I am still here in Chicago, working at Moody Bible Institute (though now in the Housing Department), attending the house church and now living next door to the Werner family who has returned from overseas. Junior High girls are a big part of my life and ministry. I participate in a girls running club where we train for a 5k together, while building relationships and awareness about health issues. We are also beginning a Bible Study with the same group of girls from the community. The Lord has woven so many threads of my life (seemingly unrelated) together for His glory.

Though I am not living in Calabar and have a sparse amount of pink and white in my wardrobe, Mary Slessor and all the other CEF lessons have inspired me to live in radical obedience to Christ. Though sometimes failing, I love Him and want to serve Him…. Always.

In the future, I have a dream of managing a guest house (possibly overseas) where missionary workers or Pastors who are tired can come and rest awhile. I would love to be in charge of the daily operations of cooking and changing sheets to hear their stories in exchange. It would be my desire to share those stories with the church to drive us to prayer and service ourselves. Also, it would be awesome to partner in getting some resources to those where Gospel literature is not as readily available. So… I guess we can all wait and see how the Lord weaves those desires together! :)

Don't Panic...Eat Fresh!

2010-09-13T16:00:00.008-05:00

Sometimes for lunch I go to Subway. Sometimes after lunch (for dessert) I go to Subway. I LOVE their cookies... they have the perfect goo to crunch ratio. The guys in there know me pretty well. They shout MEGA when I get to the end of the counter because they know that is the size fountain soda I'll be purchasing. It's unnerving on my most self conscious days.... but also endearing...

When I am there, I am always struck with the panic that seems to come over people when the worker behind the counter shouts, "Welcome to Subway, what would you like?"

These are professionals, business men and women that are accustomed to stressful situations and high volume work loads. However, they seem to come unglued when trying to order at Subway! Suddenly they stammer and their mind goes blank. They ask for one bread then change their mind to another.... "6 inch, no footlong; American and Pepperjack; that costs more? Did I say toasted?" It makes me want to work at Subway just to be entertained by everyone's high strung antics. Reminds me of Brian Regan's commentary on Doughnut Day- maybe that's why I noticed it. Though I feel like if you did work at Subway you would only be able to laugh about this phenom with other Subway workers (and possibly freaks like myself who are shockingly observant as well). Can you imagine coming home every night with a punch line about tomatoes and mayo? I don't think anyone would appreciate that.... not many anyway, not many.

It's funny, but also kinda pathetic that we can be fragile enough to be sent over the edge by lunch. Though I have never lived through any slower paced period of the past, I am enjoying being a part of the fictional version found within Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. (Ironically I have so enjoyed this world that I have read through it at lightening speed).

The land and our relationship to it is a theme throughout his writing. That's the thing that has struck me most while reading this book. My love for Jewish things and the Old Testament may have created a consciousness about "the land" in a spiritual sense; a theological significance even of ownership, cultivation and rest. What I have been struck by is much more physical than all that though, yet that still intertwines with the spiritual in its way.

Berry's knowledge and description of the purpose and satisfaction found in farming has been convicting to me (particularly in regards to our relationship with food as a society). When I want to eat, I just go to Subway or grab something at the grocery store. There is no toil, no patience, no connection to where that food came from or responsibility to your body and community. It has become a fact of life that misses the rhythm of seasons entirely (except that this time of the year is the only one when candy corn is readily available!)

I certainly am not qualified in any way to speak to this subject- I have been avoiding seeing movies like "Food, Inc." and reading books like "In Defense of Food" because of how trendy this topic is right now. Somehow though I stumbled into it anyway and now have such an unsettled feeling about the way we consume. Who knew that the invention of tractors to ease the burden could have created a whole new one? And really am I getting out there on the land to till the soil and grow my own everything? What have our central meeting places and common life patterns deteriorated to?

There are things we can gain from going faster and farther on this earth. Lately, I've just been forced to consider the sacrifice that comes along with that "freedom" as well. Maybe if we're not careful it becomes more of a slavery...Sometimes I think it's hard to know which is which.

In my small life, I cannot restructure the economic trends; but maybe there are small ways to recover pieces of what we have lost. Maybe that's why I like sitting on my front porch so much...

Joy Comes In the Morning

2010-09-08T08:35:00.008-05:00

Physically this long labor day weekend was relaxing. I didn't DO anything demanding... And the things I did do were all totally enjoyable.

On Friday I had people over for games and ka-bobs. (My first attempt ever at making ka-bobs and it was pretty much a success. If I could do it over though I would marinade the meat first. A good trick to remember for next time.) It was such a fun time to laugh and chill together. My fave telephone pictionary phrase gone wrong was Rob's "She's buying a stairway to heaven." Somewhere between Kaitlyn and Nikki the angels in heaven transformed into butterflies.... hahahha.

Saturday the girls running club was located on the lakefront which was as fun as running can get. Lanier was my running partner and she is delightful... though I don't know how well either of us did at motivation that morning. :) I took a NAP! Then I started a new book called Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. HE IS PHENOMENAL! And is probably now my 2nd fave author; 1st in my heart will always be Chaim Potok! I used to say that I didn't like fiction books, but I am coming to realize that it is more accurate to say that I only like a certain kind of fiction book. No offense to Janette, but A Gown of Spanish Lace just doesn't do it for me anymore.

On Sunday I made cosmic brownies and ate the batter while watching the Goonies. Everyone I know loves it and was appalled that I had not seen it. I tried to like it, but I don't think I really "got" it. Maybe it is one of those things you can only appreciate in it's nostalgia from your own childhood. Admittedly though, the truffle shuffle made me laugh out loud.

Monday it was glorious to sleep in until 8:30am! (Who am I right now??? How did I ever sleep till 11am before?) I quietly read on the porch for awhile and then went to Jolanda's house for BBQ. She is an incredible host- so generous. There were ribs and potato salad and baked beans and corn on the cob and chicken and hot dogs and all was delicious! She said that she is the "Big Momma" of the family and the church and her block. I'm so thankful to be a part of her family. Also I went to the Garfield Park Conservatory for awhile. I journaled in the outdoor garden and enjoyed the cool breeze and blew bubbles. :) Don't judge me, I love bubbles! That night I was on the porch for over 2 hours... I had intended to read, but then all the craziness was going on and I found myself distracted by prayer instead.

All those details to say that I should have been rested and energized and ready for such a short week ahead, but sadly that wasn't quite the case. I was troubled and couldn't get my mind to slow down. I was anxious and worried and disappointed and fearful and angry. I had all these expectations for my day off (as if I was never to have a holiday again) and instead of enjoying it; I found myself restless to figure out what to do with myself. I was wrestling with the Lord to have peace about things that are beyond my control and understanding. I was grieving not being able to call my Grandpa on his birthday. I was needy and lonely and sensitive. The whole weekend felt like a night when you are so unbelievably tired but cannot find sleep.

The story of Jonah popped into my head when I was at the park and I read it over. God was good to convict me about how the story ends. With a plant generously provided to be a covering that shrivels and how strong Jonah responds to that. He throws a fit of entitlement out of ignorance which was much the same of what I had been doing all weekend. I'm also thankful for a good conversation with Joscey later at the BBQ and the assurance I have of her prayers on behalf of my wounded heart. The body of Christ is pretty cool like that.

Tuesday (you know, the day I had to go back to work) was such a blessing though- and nothing to dread really at all. My roommate gave me a ride to work in the morning. A totally unexpected surprise! At lunch, I heard a beautiful engagement story from this weekend. Totally an encouragement to hear how they have both walked this road so faithfully looking to Jesus! At the end of the day, Kaitlyn came by and we chatted for awhile then went swimming together. It was so much fun and I loved laughing with her and confessing some of my silliest and most profound thoughts from the weekend! I bought a coloring book on the way home- a beautiful adult one from Paper Source. I sat on the front porch eating dinner and reading. Then I colored while listening to the entirety of "Behold the Lamb." I got into bed as the last song played at 9:10pm and went to sleep overjoyed at the GOSPEL!!

Once I heard Steve Arterburn say how glad he was when he realized that not only were the things in the Bible true, but that what was true in life was in the Bible. The weight of relief from experiencing that firsthand was heavy on me last night. There really is no man's affirmation or best friend's listening ear or chocolate delight that can satisfy me in the deepest parts. It is only Jesus Who can meet me there in that brokenness. He can SEE me and UNDERSTAND me and HEAL me- all the things I am so desperately longing for and restless about. Though He may be a Spirit, He somehow in reality touches us. What a mystery! I don't know why I always am doubting this truth...and subsequently needing to re-experience it. Glory to Jesus that He is all our Hope and Peace!

I am so grateful to be free of the many things that were tangling me up this weekend. I felt a joy this morning and a rest that was so refreshing to my soul (even if it was not on my day off). This morning on the way across the plaza to my office, I passed a sprinkler with a pathetic drizzle on the lawn. I noticed a little robin playfully standing under the spray that was gentle enough for it and I laughed out loud. It looked right at me as if it knew the reason I was laughing and disapproved. I am after all the girl who was blowing bubbles in the park this weekend! hahaha
Also, 10 Million bonus points to me for beginning this post with the word "Physically." :)

INTERNATIONAL SENSATION

2010-09-07T09:53:00.003-05:00

I really don't know how I manage to do these things!
My life is one of hysterical failure. I offer this little story as evidence.

I emailed some of my friends the following:
FRIENDS! I have been wanting to do one of these tours my whole life…. Or at least since I moved to Chicago.Let’s make this the year!!!! Fall would be a beautiful time. Any look good to you?Check your calendars and let me know.
http://caf.architecture.org/Page.aspx?pid=698

My friend Shayla wrote back recommending a tour or 2 that she had been on. I heard from a couple others saying they were game for the adventure and I also received this:
I think you may be copying the wrong Donald Jordan on your emails. You have been using XXX@XXX.COM which is the wrong Donald Jordan I believe.
(NOTE: For clarification I put X's in the email address to respect the owner of it)

To which I naturally replied my apologies and got this response:
Not a problem. Normally I would just delete but these seemed like personal emails that needed to get to the intended recipient. You might get a good laugh to know your emails are winding up with me, located 8,000 miles away in Qatar. Good luck with the fall outing and tracking down the right Donald Jordan. Kind regards, Donald

QATAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kinda like that one time I called Puerto Rico.....HYSTERICAL.....DISASTER..... :)

More than a block party

2010-09-06T20:15:00.002-05:00

Things on my block have been insane tonight. I'll spare you the details (for my Mom's sake), but it was a crazy place for a couple of hours. I had intended to read, which I did a bit of, but then couldn't helped but be sucked in by all that was going on around me.

It's not a movie, it's not a game- this is real and sobering and found myself crying out to the LORD on behalf of this place. I felt helpless to do anything more than that and I am trusting that our all-wise, all-powerful God is at work on this block.

BRING YOUR FREEDOM & PEACE LORD JESUS!
Remember my block in your prayers please... we need Jesus here.

Lost and Found

2010-09-03T14:50:00.002-05:00

Most of the things I lose are not really a big deal. In fact sometimes I even forget that I had them to begin with and it's more like getting something new if I find them. On a few occasions I have lost something precious.

The Metal Momma I made in high school. My vanity compelled me to enter it in an art show I wasn't attending and the art teacher,Pastor Joe's nuttiness compelled him to lose it. I worked so hard on that piece and my Mom loved it so much and I grieve every now and then that it is gone.

A bone ring from Kenya. I gave it to a boy I thought I would love forever and every now and then I grieve that the boy and the ring are not in my life.

A boldly striped sweater. I looked pretty awesome in that sweater, but it got stolen in the laundry room at college. It probably wasn't intentional, but sometimes when I don't know what to wear I grieve that sweet little number is not around.

My balance. When I was 8.... hahaha just kidding. (For all those who don't know why that is funny- I remember everything from my childhood at age 8 for some reason. It was a really significant year apparently!) I was younger than that though when I fell down the steps at my grandparents house. I tumbled (a little less impressively than MacGyver) and broke my arm. To this day my Uncle Ted teases me if I have found my balance yet.

My Michigan license. It was a significant day when I got a Illinois license. (And not just because they print your weight on the front-ick! A man had to have thought of that)I miss saying that I belong in Pure Michigan. Maybe it wasn't my 16 year old self photo that I was so attached to, just my status as being from somewhere where everyone knew my name.... like Cheers... wow! I am so unbelievably full of cliches today.

Anyway, I started thinking about this idea of things lost because last week I lost my silver ring I bought in India. It wasn't expensive, but it was ultra symbolic of the Lord's incredible hand of protection and provision during those 6 weeks and also a replacement in a way of the ring I mentioned above. Admittedly I cried over this little guy and I dug through the women's locker room trash and I prayed about it. At the pool, I gave myself 50 versions of the same pep talk about God's promises remaining despite the physical evidence being lost. When I got back to my office, it was gleaming on the floor in front of my closet. My heart did this funny kind of flip flop and I literally shouted outloud for joy. My thanksgiving was deeply genuine and I may have included a little hop too.

This week I was also reading in Luke the parables about the coin and the lamb and the son that were lost, then found. (Flashback to a Sunday school lesson series with these stories illustrated completely in shades blue and white.) It was an encouragement to imagine the joy there is being found in Christ, especially if finding such a small trinket could cause such a stirring.

I am so grateful that IN HIM I am found and known and loved and forgiven- ETERNALLY!

Convocation of Baklava

2010-08-26T14:57:00.003-05:00

Tuesday was convocation at Moody Bible Institute. I have been to many convocation's here before- 13 actually. There is something about them that never gets old though, something timeless. Seeing professors that you love marching down the center aisles in their regalia, hearing the rousing organ tune, the crowd singing “Great is Thy Faithfulness”; it all feels like magic to me.

Magic is difficult to capture in words… It’s not fairies or “abracadabra!” It is this mingling of the richness of the past and the freshness of the new year. It is the converging of learned professors and ambitious freshman. It is the jumble of emotion that comes with your first day of classes and your last first day of classes. It is the hope growing in every person that this year will hold something new, that they will be changed for the better. It is being surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses…and keeping your eyes on the prize set before you.

Anyway, maybe that seems dramatic coming from someone so young- it’s not like I have been here for 20 years or anything. I can’t help it though- I am enamored by this place! More than that, I am indebted to the many places around this campus where the Lord’s work has transformed and stirred me in my deepest part.

Every building, every dorm room, every classroom, every plaza bench could probably tell an amazing story or two of how God has been faithful. Maybe that’s the true magic of it. We are not just a part of a beautiful story or singing a pretty song, but we are caught up in the realness of a God Who has proven Himself over and over and over again. It’s the layers of God’s faithfulness here that I savor… kinda like baklava. :)

Blogless August

2010-08-17T20:40:00.003-05:00

I have not been blogging lately because frankly my brain feels like it will explode at most points throughout the day and that kind of pressure really crowds out creative ambition.

I've never felt like a grown up as much as the last week at work- staying an extra 6 hours because literally I have to in order to be prepared instead of staying an extra 6 minutes to rewrite a color coded to do list for the next day. :) So thankful that the end of this crazy season is nearing it's end. (I leave that last sentence as further proof of my mental state at present... you know what I was trying to say!)

Kinda pathetic, but these are the highlights as of late:
1. I called someone and said "Residence Life, this is Rachel" as if I was answering the phone.
2. I put down the phone and was sure I had a conversation but had no idea what was said since I was "multi-tasking."
3. I almost got on the Orange line to Midway instead of my train home at the end of the day.
4. I ran a mile unprovoked to zen out.
5. I literally could not remember which set of keys was for home and which was for work.

Although, God is so gracious and provided such reminders of His rest and grace too.
1. Like a ride home, getting lost and laughing about it with my coworker at 10:30 at night.
2. Like reading Anne of Green Gables in it's entirety- some on the front porch, some more on my window seat.
3. Like playing banannagrams.
4. Like eating dinner and cosmic brownies on my window seat with a friend.
5. Like meeting "Jesse" in the park yesterday after running and getting asked for my number & told I "is a real good lookin woman" while sweaty.
These priceless things are truly such gifts from above!

The Mamas and the Papas (not the 70's music group, but the freshman parents with a fragmented reference to a song in the beginning of Fiddler on the Roof) continue to call with crazy pants questions. Sometimes they are such a bright spot in my day- such eagerness. I really do mean it when I say that! I remember that feeling and even now it comes over me sometimes- to think of this place you are being swept up into... this story...these people that God has been using throughout the last 150 years.

You should all buy Andrew Peterson's new CD. It's rockin awesome and I essentially listen to it 4 times a day. :) It is so good- so full of the life of the Gospel. Track 9 is my fave....

There are dishes in the sink that I should do... boo! I hate being a grown up. hahaha. not really, only grown ups can have as big a bed as me! It's huge... and finally the frame is put together!

Take this post for what it's worth and I will try to put something insightful out soon. :)

Carmine Ragusa

2010-07-31T12:56:00.002-05:00

I have been watching season 1 of Laverne and Shirley. Carmine Ragusa has got to be the best character. :) I love how he randomly bursts into song....

Once Upon a December....

2010-07-23T12:07:00.003-05:00

When I was about 8 (the age when everything seems to have happened as I reminisce), I had a dream about the floors in our house being made of mattresses. It was such a fun dream that I have always remembered it and think about it from time to time... even now.

On Monday I went to pick up a mattress from a co-worker who was selling it in the 'burbs. I was blissfully unaware of what was involved in picking up a QUEEN SIZE mattress and just assumed that since I had a truck; I was golden. Thankfully my neighbor came with me and helped- and by helped I mean pretty much just handled everything! So glad that he is a man! :)

When we unloaded the mattress into my room- it was right next to the twin and the mattresses filled my room- just like in my dream! I am not ashamed to say that I may have bounced on them for joy a few times. Hooray; dreams do come true!

Residence Life

2010-07-23T12:03:00.003-05:00

This time of year in Residence Life is one of the most stressful, but also one of the most fun.
This is dedicated to all the mom's out there of college bound students. Please call and ask your son or daughters housing department these questions! It will make their day as it has mine. :)

1. Should I mail my son a refrigerator?
2. What are the window dimensions so that I can crochet curtains for my son?
3. If orientation day is my birthday, do I have to drop my son off?
4. If I am staying in the area the first night, can my son stay with me instead of his dorm?
5. Can my son have a george foreman in his room? How about a magic bullet? How about a hot pot? How about a candle warmer? How about a toaster? How about a toaster oven? How about a blender? How about any of the appliances they sell on infomercials?
6. Can I stay with my son in his room the first night?
7. What kind of shower shoes do you recommend?
8. What are the under bed dimensions? Maybe his dad can make drawers.
9. What would be a good weekly amount to budget for our son?
10. I bought my son a humidifier. Do most guys bring one or should I return it?

That's what I'm sayin...

2010-07-23T11:52:00.004-05:00

1. Lil Liz asked me to be in her wedding! YES! I love her and Sean... so excited about their special day in May 2011!

2. My new favorite hang out near home is CICERO! It has a Target and a Taco Bell. What more could you need?

3. I was dog sitting a couple weeks ago for 2 little dogs- mostly well behaved. One got a little nervous about the fireworks and pooped all over the house... AWESOME! They had a very rigorous 4 walk per day schedule. :) The thought of all these wealthy people downtown picking up a dog's warm poop in hand (well with a baggie) just blew my mind. Think on that today huh?!

4. While I was dog sitting I got addicted to cable- ANTM and Cake Boss. Such fun shows! Pretty sure it's a good thing we don't have cable at home. I would never leave. :) hahaha. I have caught myself in the mirror several times trying to lengthen my neck and smile with my eyes... Thanks Tyra.

5. Kids Bible Study has been going well- I have really enjoyed teaching again and singing CEF songs. "Stop! and let me tell you" I think the kids are enjoying it too. We are going through the 10 Commandments and after learning about the Sabbath little Matthew said: "I am Sunday full!"

The cost of a story

2010-07-23T11:21:00.004-05:00

Stories are rarely free- they often cost me my time or dignity, sometimes both. This time however it also cost me the cold hard cash, the pesos, the dollar dollar bills, y'all get the idea.

Objective #1: Park at 441 E Erie
Objective #2: Go to Doctor at 680 E. Erie

Objective #1 was a piece of cake. I found the building. I got a parking ticket- I did a number of 3 point turns to get up the ramps because Kaitlyn's truck struggles in the turning radius department. I parked. I went out the wrong exit and had to walk all the way around the block....no problem!

Objective #2 was a little more difficult. I approach what is the right address... I confirm the sticky note I wrote very carefully. The nameplate next to the door reads: Playboy Enterprises. I look around for Candid Camera, hesitantly starting up the stairs. "Is this Dr. Evil's idea of a sick joke?" I wonder, "Is there seriously an OB/GYN in the Playboy Enterprises building? That just seems ironic."

One of the elevators is starting to close as I come in and I run to catch it. An older man is the only other passenger- he asks if I am sure I want to go to floor 12. Suddenly I am not sure and consulting my neon green sticky note- it says suite 1200. My head is swirling with visions of the elevator doors opening and seeing Hugh there in a velvet smoking jacket puffing on a cigar and a freak show of nurses and doctors...

ding ding

moment of truth

doors opening.....

It was just a bunch of Doctor's offices. :) hahahaha.

I found out a few moments later that my doctor just had to leave to deliver a baby and we would have to reschedule the appointment. I trekked back to the garage, un-parked the truck and tried to convince the woman at the booth to let me out without paying. I pleaded with her that I had only been there long enough to find out my appointment was cancelled. She was less than amused and just pointed at the sign that said 0-3 hours: $14.00

$14.00 to not even go to the doctor. $14.00 to have a panic attack in the elevator of the bunny lair. $14.00 for a real funny story about my new fave doctor office location. :)

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig!

2010-06-16T09:52:00.012-05:00

I didn't go to market to buy a fat pig, but I did move into my new home! JIGGITY JIG!

Saturday was the final move. It was rainy and humid, but Donald and I were able to get everything moved from the garage into the house. Seriously, that man is my hero- so grateful for all his hard work and keeping me from purchasing a $60 trashcan at Target. :) I stayed up until 2am that night unpacking and feel pretty settled. There are some boxes left to unpack, but still need to get a bookcase and some super organized containers before I can do that.

Here's a little mini-tour of the place:
Kitchen and cabinets. Through that window is our mud room and then the back porch!

Here's the bathroom- the fixtures in here are wrought iron and really fun.

This is the living room

And... drumroll please.....

MY ROOM WITH WINDOW SEAT!!!!!!!

It feels so wonderful to be moved in to my very own place, with my very own room and very own back porch! It has a ton of closets and a really cool toilet flusher and fans and hardwood floors and so many other great features. Please feel free to visit me anytime! I would love to have company.

It's a blessing, baby!

2010-06-11T10:45:00.003-05:00

Miracle League last night rocked my face off. I loved the job I was given... "the jersey putter outter" is the technical name. It's all about timing though and doing 3 things at once and pretty much that's what I love to do. And while some may be grossed out by the sweaty jerseys, I think it's so great that they are getting so much energy out and loving it.

On the way home I needed to stop at Walgreens for a couple essentials; TP and cream soda. A man who seemed homeless called out to me and wanted to chat. I was polite but kept walking confidently past. The rain started to come down and this man pushed his cart after me. He was finally making so much noise I paused to let him catch up to me. He tried handing me an umbrella and at first I refused. Then he shouted, "I got 12 of them in my cart, you see them? It's a blessing baby, take it!" So I did. It was the nastiest thing I have ever touched, but it kept me and my TP dry on the way home.

It was a blessing and I was certainly humbled by this man's generosity.

MEGA

2010-06-09T22:24:00.004-05:00

From dictionary.com:

mega-
prefix, often meaning "large, great," but in precise scientific language "one million" ( megaton, megawatt, etc.), from Gk. megas "great, large, mighty" (fem. megale ), from PIE *meg- "great"

Medical Dictionary

mega- pref.
Large: megacephaly.
One million (10 6 ): megahertz.

Science Dictionary
mega-
A prefix that means:
Large, as in megadose, a large dose.
One million, as in megahertz, one million hertz.

Slang Dictionary
mega definition [ˈmɛgə]
mod. large; serious. : Some mega beast boogied down to the front of the auditorium and started screaming.

No matter what dictionary you use, it means REAL LARGE. Large amount of power, large dose of meds, a whole lotta beast; it makes no difference, these are all correct. Well, under this definition, I'd like to add this picture and story of my experience on the MEGA BUS. Admittedly, I have taken the bus before and so I was not ignorant of the events that would take place, but the consistency is pretty amazing.

1. LARGE AMOUNT OF POWER: This bus is not one I would ever want to be hit by (not that I can think of another bus I WOULD want to be hit by, but if I had to be hit by one, I would especially prefer it is not this one!) Even beside it's raw size, it metaphorically has a power of messing with your plans.

We were a pathetic group of about 100 people waiting in the hot sun for a mega bus- no matter the destination. There was an older couple who was riding the megabus for the first time, appalled at the lack of station or information. Suddenly the Amtrak was getting rave reviews from them. :) 45 minutes late and we were pulling out into Friday rush hour traffic. AWESOME, PARTY BUS!

2. LARGE DOSE OF MEDS: Thankfully I got my own seat on the upper deck (and by that I mean the seat next to me as well). :) That certainly kept the whole thing in the funny stage. In general, I'd recommend a large dose of whatever kind of pain killers, muscles relaxers and numbing agents you can get your hands on. The upper deck is where all the action is at:

There was a cell phone version of "dueling banjos" between 2 gals discussing their professional careers and how they told off their male co-workers. There was a diligent cheerful working woman who kept her lights on the whole trip and pounded away at her keyboard. There was a fearful little woman who kept calling her boyfriend with the latest town sign she had seen. There was a man behind me reading the latest edition of Men's Health and the smell of his dinner was an Indian/Asian combo with a little bit of hot sauce. mmmm. :)

The air conditioning ran on high blast the majority of the trip, which for me was great. I would always rather be cold on long journeys than hot- especially when strong smells are involved. bleh. At the dinner break someone must have mentioned to the bus driver that it was a little chilly. Naturally the bus only has 2 settings high and off, so the last couple hours of the trip there was a sauna on the upperdeck.

Speaking of the dinner break... (FAVORITE PART!) It was significantly shortened due to our late start. No complaints from me about this; I would much rather be at my destination than a truck stop. It was entertaining to see people's response to this 20 minute break though. Some people about my age were striding confidently across the parking lot and street to a McDonald's knowing it would take a little bit. Those passengers about my parents age however were in a full out RUN! The married couples were holding hands and shouting instructions at each other about a bathroom rotation and food order. These people are the ones who are accustomed to travelling with children and were falling into their natural rhythm. I am happy to report we all made it back to the bus. :)

3. A WHOLE LOTTA BEAST: During this final portion of the trip; the lights were off (besides above the working woman), the humidity was creeping in from outside and it was quiet ... ALMOST. In front of me there was a huge beast of a man, with the hood of his zip up sweater over his face and his rap music blaring. It had not bothered me earlier in the trip- I like rap music, or so I thought. I realized after the bus was quiet and I could hear his lyrics, that I like Christian rap or the mild hip hop stuff they play on the radio. What he was listening to was explicit and horrible-complete with gun shot sound effects and screaming women. I figured that his seat mate or the working woman in front of him would be bothered by the music and ask him to stop. a half hour later, I realized my hope was in vain and I geared myself up to ask him to turn it down. I practiced in my head- I didn't want to sound snotty or like a goodie two shoes. Admittedly, I also was afraid that I would make him mad enough to act out one of the songs on me... no thank you. There was a part of me that wanted to lecture him about what he was listening to in the presence of women, but I'm not old enough to pull that off yet. "Umm, excuse me sir. Would you mind turning that down just a little bit? Thanks!" He never said a word to me- just pulled his hood back slightly, glared and touched a button on his music device that silenced it as far as I could tell.

We arrived only 45 minutes late- impressive! And I made sure that Tupac left before me...just in case he was angry.

Gypsy Woman

2010-06-01T14:39:00.006-05:00

Memorial day weekend.... is a great 3 day weekend for grilling, attending parades and wearing patriotic colors. Also, a good time for MOVING. :)

There wasn't too much stuff left in the florist shop apartment, just a few suitcases and random other things (that are now in my office. hahaha). There was a whole lotta cleaning to do though. :) So thankful for Alli and her help keeping my sanity that weekend. We basically ate delicious food every time it was available. Pockets, Tastee Freeze, Jamba, A cute little Italian bakery I don't recall the name of.... so much goodness and dessert! We also got our nails done and went shopping at Old Navy. Pretty much we are the champions of coping with change...there's no anxiety that can stand up to the comfort of a friend with a fro-co. :) BOOM BABY!

2 weeks ago my family came from Michigan and helped me move the majority of my things to the garage of my new apartment. I have been living out of a suitcase since then- on the floor of the little florist shop apartment and now in the guest room of a friend.

The friend's place where I am staying is actually the same place I stayed 2 years ago after graduation. It seems fitting that this would be a stop along the way to my new place. Places are very significant to me and I am thankful for the reminder of God's faithfulness in this particular place.

Moving is such an exhausting undertaking and stressful too. The moving and cleaning and many details to coordinate. It seems that I have been in the moving process for over a month now- from when I first started packing; and the more time passes, the more I find myself tired of it. The thought of moving from the garage to the house (though only 30 feet) and then unpacking seems a little overwhelming. Living out of suitcases certainly reminds you of exactly what are the "essentials." Maybe I will just join a Bedouin community instead... hmmm.

I wanted to post a song here at the end- that matched the title. Alas, I fear I was singing the wrong lyrics.... Lenny Kravitz is still working on this one I guess.

Where have all the Cowboys gone?

2010-05-19T07:27:00.007-05:00

Pastors Conference at Moody Bible Institute........... (breathe deeply) It has come to be one of my favorite things about working here over the summer. All the khaki's and cheesy jokes the world can contain, are RIGHT HERE this week.

I ate lunch in the Commons everyday this week hoping to spot my future husband but the way registration is set up this year; they just don't make it that easy. Registering by last name... tsk! That is so 2009. I propose that next year's registration be something more like this: "Single pastor's under 40 who think Arrested Development is funny" here and "Everyone Else" here. Maybe they could also have a speed dating event... hahahaa. OK, now my imagination has officially gone wild. Reigning in the horses. :)

So in all this "Pastor Watching" I have noticed a few specific types of Pastors.
#1. Hipster for Jesus
Cargo pants, tousled hair, track jacket and square rim glasses. This pastor tanned and in his 50's is easy to spot with an ambitious youth pastor right on his heels and a book about the emerging church under his arm.

#2. Biker for Jesus
These are the guys in jean and leather; usually a little hairier than the others and real heavy duty work shoes. The ones who come with a cooler of food, 3 cubes of soda and 2 cases of Dinty Moore soup. mmmmmmm... Beefy!

#3. ALUMNI for Jesus
I laugh at these guys, but I know that someday all too soon it will be me. So I laugh still, but with humility! :) They ask everyone if they attended MBI trying to make connections and be able to legitimize their time here by knowing someone that another pastor knows who went here. They are the ones who give private tours of campus of all their favorite spots and begin far too many sentences with "When I was here...". They start laughing for apparently no reason while walking through the plaza because they had a memory of their flag poling or some such thing that only "Moodies" would understand. They pretend they are lost while secretly visiting their old room and pause in reverence at the back of Torrey Gray every time they enter.

#4. Farm Fresh for Jesus
These are a great majority of the men here this week. The ones who come from a small town in the Midwest who are so excited to be a part of DL Moody's legacy and will tell their grandchildren about this week for years to come. They are ordinary men who only drink their coffee black and like their breakfast big.

#5. Joggers for Jesus
This type is tricky because sometimes the "Farm Fresh" Pastors try to pose in this role. They get out their swishy athletic pants that they usually wear to a game and go for a run in the city instead. On the way back they breathe more deeply and sweat more heavily and stop for an Egg McMuffin to celebrate their accomplishment.

The real Jogger type though is the social elite of the Pastors group. You know them... the popular kids from High School you love to hate. The ones you now can't hate because they are Pastors... the ones who eat Kashi and sip beverages. The ones who run marathons on Saturdays and preach on Sundays and carry a briefcase every other day. The ones who only use Macs and are looking for a coffee bar in the auditorium. You know the ones.

OK, I know I am making terrible fun of these men, but I really do love them! I love that they serve God so faithfully. I love that they put in so many hours for others. I love that they put their family life on display for everyone's critique and sacrifice for them anyway. I love that they smell so wonderfully of sweat and cologne. I love that they preach the truth to each other. I love that they get to come here and rest awhile. I love that they have fresh material to take home to their churches- Bible truth and jokes! I love that they cherish this place and the speakers and their gift bags so much. I just love them!

I did find one cowboy this week... there is a new street performer on Michigan Avenue these days. His cowboy outfit is complete with chaps and spurs. He lassos his rope and hollers "Giddy up!" It's good to know there is at least one still out there!

HUZZAH!

2010-05-15T19:54:00.004-05:00

I thought this was a Hebrew expression and as a result thought that I was so impressive and Bible college savvy(nerdy) for knowing it was Hebrew. The only problem is that it's not actually anything remotely close to Hebrew. The internet assures me it is more than likely PRUSSIAN! So really huzzah is merely a cool enough word to be mistaken for Hebrew.

Whatever the true origin of this word- we have been having a whole lot of them lately; a week of them in fact. Every day this past week Kaitlyn and I spent some time together doing "last" things in the city before she moved away to her summer internship. We went to Berry Chill, had dinner with church friends, ate dessert at Ghirardelli's, went to the Container Store, packed, listened (some more reluctantly than others) to country music, enjoyed dinner at the Kerryman, played massive amounts of banannagrams, got slurpees, sang along to Wicked, hung out with little B, laughed, cried, etc.

Our little apartment is filled with boxes now-though it still looks homey with furniture and decor. Kaitlyn left on Thursday to go home and then on to her internship. The emotion of it all has yet to hit me, though I know the weeping is coming.

Kaitlyn has become such a great friend over the past year and a half of living together. She is a deeply caring person who always puts other people before herself. She freely shares her time and stuff with anyone that needs it. She is patient and a good listener. She is always up for a party and is a pretty great popcorn maker. I'm thankful for our time together above LaSalle Florist and grateful she will be returning to the city in 3 months. We have both grown up so much since September 2008! HUZZAH!

Delilah, if you are reading this... please dedicate a real sappy song to the end of our roommate era.

Celebrations

2010-05-15T19:23:00.007-05:00

The list of causes to celebrate has been many as of late. Thanks for caring about these things and celebrating them with me!

North Lawndale will have a new resident in just about a month now. I committed to a 2 bedroom apartment that is being rehabbed by friends of mine. It is a beautiful place with a shared yard, back porch and decent sized shower (everything I was looking for in a place! haha) The only thing that was missing was a roommate... which in faith I trusted the Lord would provide.

Admittedly, I put a sorry amount of effort into finding a roommate. I asked people I knew, but I just kept asking myself, "Seriously? Who am I gonna find that wants to move to North Lawndale?" I am pleased to report that despite my lack of effort in faith, the Lord remains faithful to me. Through a friend of a friend and rap concert, the Lord crossed Jen's path with mine. She was already looking for a place in the neighborhood and was asking the same question. So thankful for her and excited to get to know her more in this next location and phase of life.

Because of the houses' condition at the time my friends bought it, there are some additional hoops they will have to jump through in order for the City of Chicago to grant them a certificate of occupancy. In other words, I am moving back into Houghton for a couple weeks of June. Moving back to the exact same spot I was 2 years ago after graduation- the H2 RS apartment guest room. hahahaha. I love that life is this ironic and would not have it any other way! This time around though, no storage locker. Hallelujah; I can move my stuff!

I cannot seem to keep the same job at Moody for longer than a year- though this year is the closest by far. Recently I was given a promotion within Residence Life. As of July 1, my title will be the Residence Life Housing and Administrative Coordinator. In many ways, my role will remain the same, particularly in regards to the online housing software we continue to set up for future use. In other ways my job will morph into one with more decision making responsibility in regards to our undergrad housing procedures, so that is an exciting challenge.

Numb Hope

2010-05-02T21:17:00.004-05:00

Pretty much what I am thinking is encapsulated in that title. I feel fussy and want you to just know what that means, but I guess that's asking too much.

You know that feeling when you wanna listen to Alanis Morisette and Meredith Brooks back to back? That feeling when you wanna eat until you throw up (not because you need to eat, just because you want to feel something)? That feeling of dropping mac and cheese on your "shelf" at lunch, having a 9 year old point it out to you and walking around the mall hoping no one will notice? That feeling of buying a bathing suit only to get it home and wonder if your grandma may have bought the same one (in a smaller size though of course?)That feeling of knowing you have so many things to be thankful for and still feeling pitiful anyway which only makes you feel guilty? That feeling of knowing how many people would love to have your "problems" which makes you feel even more guilty? That feeling of staring at the flowers you bought yourself with pride at being an independent woman who doesn't need a man to buy flowers for her knowing they did not do the trick? That feeling of being the only unmarried lady at church today and totally unrelateable? That feeling of having watched a lousy movie this evening instead of doing something more worthwhile like 9th grade algebra homework? That feeling of realizing how you are exposing yourself on your blog and wanting to delete it, but hating all the thought you have put into it already so you probably won't? Yeah, all of the above are me right now.

I know there is hope. just not feeling so much of it right now. I know that I am loved. just not feeling so much of that right now either. Instead. feeling like a "big fat rat... GLORIA!" (James Garner from The Thrill of it All) So glad that I get to start over in the morning. May it arrive soon!

I'm glad you're a man...

2010-04-20T10:38:00.004-05:00

THE PREFACE
Last week a fight broke out at the end of SLAM because a kid who came from the west side flashed a gang sign at a kid from Cabrini who represents a rival gang and it erupted! Everybody’s cousin jumped in to “help.” Thankfully there were staff people outside and broke it up quickly. Anyway, in the middle of the action are 2 staff guys I really respect. As I was leaving, they were still holding kids back by their wrists. I left feeling so thankful that they were there and strong enough to handle all that. And all week through different things have been impressed to pray for men to rise up to be a part of ending this crisis of kids without dads. (anyway… that could be its own post and may be someday soon…)

So I wanted to send a email to the 2 of them in appreciation for being out there and in general all that they do at SLAM. But then because one of them (who shall be called "Manly Man" in this post) is this tall balding, hairy unmarried beast of a man, I couldn’t justify it. I didn’t want to be manipulative and try to do some ridiculous version of ‘Christian encouragement’ in an attempt to pick up a guy. (been there, done that) SO… I very maturely refused to send an email or facebook message (though I will admit I drafted several). Especially after all the thoughts I was having about needing men in this ministry though- it felt stupid to not encourage someone. I went back and forth…

THE DEED
Monday night comes and Manly Man and I pass each other in the hall. I resist for a moment, then turn back and this is what happened…

ME: Hey Manly Man! Actually I wanted to say something to you
HIM: Yeah… what’s up?
ME: I don’t know if you remember me.. I’m Rachel (pointing at my name tag!) and I go to Dave’s church
HIM: Oh yeah yeah yeah.. Rachel right, OK
ME: Well, I was thinking about the fight last week and I didn’t really see it except I was leaving at the end and saw you guys in the middle of it…(TOTALLY OUT OF BREATH because I am nervous and lost a natural rhythm so now it sounds breathy)
ME CONT’D: Maybe you will think this is cheesy (deep GASP for breath!) (Also I am needing to clear my throat but I can only hear my Dad’s voice in my head saying how unladylike that is so I continue breathy and gritty to the end. )
HIM: OK… (cocks head to side and makes interested yet apprehensive face)
ME: I was thinking a lot about what you did, being there on the frontlines and all and getting in the middle of it and I am just really glad that you are a man.
(Panicking because I realize this sounds dumb and obvious)
ME CONT’D: And by that I mean, a man of God...(Overwhelmed by my inability to recover, I turn red and start saying a lot more things I don’t remember)
HIM: Oh, well that’s not cheesy at all. I was kinda worried about what you were gonna say, but no, that’s encouraging! I humbly receive that. Thanks!
ME: oh yeah… anytime.(wanting to have an actual conversation, but not knowing where to go from that… I look at my feet and he walks away)

THE CONCLUSION OF THE MATTER
It is funny. It really really is, please feel free to laugh your head and your tail off. I have been! But it also made me feel so inept and ridiculous. He probably has a girlfriend, so in this instance it's probably not that big of a deal. But how embarrassing to not be able to form decent sentences. ah! The LORD knows my marriage will be a testimony to the world that miracles do happen! Also, I could pick apart my motives all day long, but somewhere in the midst of all that hormone was a genuine desire to appreciate his “man-ness.”(Which is what I was planning to say and so thankful the Lord did not allow it past my lips. :) CAN YOU IMAGINE?“ Hey Buddy, I’m real thankful for your man-ness!” haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Maybe I could have quoted John Eldredge while I was at it: Thanks for giving of your strength… Do you find me captivating? haha. Oh dear!)

FAIL! EPIC FAIL!

What's NOT to love?

2010-04-16T15:56:00.012-05:00

AIR GUITAR - the competitors have names like Sweatmaster Animal, Rocktopus, Nordic Thunder and Romeo DanceCheetah. What's not to love?

AIR GUITAR- the style is eccentric. Spandex is the first layer and then pile on top any mixture of patterns. Leopard print, pink fishnets, jean jackets, American flags, t-shirts with kitties, loin cloths; even a scalloped collar that lights up... whatever excites you. My fave from last night: jeans, bare chest (even without hair. haha.), suspenders! and a blazer. Be sure not to forget the accessories which included a sequined purple headband and belt. YES! AND SO I ASK YOU... What's not to love?

AIR GUITAR-it is pretty athletic. Lots of jumping while doing the splits and sliding on your knees. This is not for wimps my friends! In round 2 last night, Rocktopus climbed the lighting scaffolding and hung backwards while playing his air guitar. Flexibility... also important... check! And it's not just the performers either- in the audience you really have to be agile. At any moment there could be a man jumping off stage expecting to surf through the crowd or a drunken audience member who elbows you in the head.What's not to love?

AIR GUITAR - The host of this shin-dig was Bjorn Turoque (vocalized: Born to Rock). He intrigued me and if I could have made friends with someone; I would have picked him. He's a young soul, but knows his place in it all since he's older. What's not to love?

The opening act was a KISS wannabe girl band- If you can imagine that, congratulations. If not, I have pictures. The stage was cleared and then to kick off the event they played the theme song to Perfect Strangers! Everyone was singing it together and I was going crazy with excitement. From that point, to the end when a wet man in a loin cloth named Nordic Thunder won the championship I laughed my head off. What great time! I've heard rumors about this guy next year who is supposed to be really good. He goes by "Don of Rock." (wink!)

AIR GUITAR - It is not exactly a family friendly environment. I'm not endorsing all (or even most) of the life choices these people are making. It's the same mentality as any rock and roll musician, just without the hookup to the amp. Sex, Beer, Rock and Roll... kinda sad when you realize that's all some on this circuit are living for. Maybe I could be a missionary to the air guitar champions... or their chaplain! I say this in jest, but it really caused me to think alot (because my name is Rachel Monfette and nothing can be simply entertaining)!

Is it wrong to be so entertained and amused by the absurd? Secretly, I envy how un-apologetically they put themselves out there, how invincible they seem. It's such a fun concept, such a hysterical recreation, but unfortunately everything that gets included with it is real trashy. The glamor and the fame of it is seductive; no doubt about that. "Be your own hero" it whispers and then gives you an outrageous name and outfit to hide behind.

So maybe in a different life (with different parents) I would have been a Bjorn Turoque. Maybe I would have found myself competing on the world champion stage in FINLAND. Probably you can't see it and that doesn't offend me. I know that "hardcore" is not the first word that springs to mind when you think of me. I don't even own any version of punk clothes! In my heart though, I admit that I am so attracted to living a dual life like that; one of which is completely without rules or consequences because it's NOT REAL! For this reason, I could not be more grateful to a God Who sets some boundaries and by His grace helps me not to cross them... even if it does mean never reaching my full potential as an air guitarist! :) Also so grateful for the sense of humor He gave me to enjoy stuff like this totally sober. :) What's not to love?

Shamrock Shuffle 2010

2010-03-21T16:15:00.000-05:00

Here's the thing...

2010-03-19T07:33:00.007-05:00

When I came to college I packed in 6 rubbermaids and 2 suitcases. Each rubbermaid was marked with a number that corresponded to the same number list of the container contents. Granted I brought alot of the wrong things and looked like a transfer student in January when I came back to school, but the point is- I like order. And I like my life to be in order as much as my stuff. It is such a relief to know who you are and how you fit with those around you; to know where the lines are; to know what's black and what's white.

In my world without grey, I simultaneously believe that the earth is round... and that this ground is flat... OK, maybe that's a dumb example- I'll try again. I simultaneously believe that losing weight requires hard work and discipline... and A slurpee is a good way to relax after a long day at work... At first glance they don't seem related at all (and usually they don't go through my head one after the other like this anyway), but drink enough slurpees and suddenly they are very related.

It's like juggling, the trick is to keep every handkerchief moving and unaware of the others. You are mesmerized by the color and speed and pyrotechnics of the whole experience (well, there could be pyrotechnics!) Though it is complex and requires precision, juggling is much easier than the alternative.

The alternative is like making salad dressing. (Yes, you can thank me later for these killer analogies. haha) The vinegar and the oil are constantly separating and then you have to shake them back up to be of any use to your salad. It's tiring and annoying. Wouldn't it just be easier to make a dressing that stays mixed?! Sometimes my world (like the dressing) gets shook up. Suddenly all my simultaneously held beliefs are colliding. I see evil and it looks fun. I see hate and it seems noble. I see good and it looks brutal. I see hope and it looks disappointing. Or even not so extreme, I see two good choices and it is hard to pick one.

Last week I was browsing though Borders (looking at kids books, checking for any Chiam Potok books I do not already own, you know... the usual). Somehow I ended up in the religion section and found myself wondering if any of these had a better answer to this conundrum. You can {GASP!} if you like, but I don't think I am the only one who has ever been there. I am grateful to report that I walked away (tall) from any books with juggling strategies.

HERE'S THE THING: I simultaneously believe that I do not understand or at times even like this reality... and that nothing would taste better on a pecan crusted chicken and pear salad with goat cheese...

This entry is cute, but the realness of these collisions has brought me to tears on more than one occasion in the last month. And I have no solution- only that I have found comfort in the nearness of God and His people. Psalm 73 is one I have been reading alot. (Check out the link to a video by ALERT. It's real cool.)

the absurd

2010-03-09T20:22:00.002-06:00

Drinking Dilemma. There is a drinking fountain at work that is in a main hallway. (fascinated yet? haha.) Today it was totally dismantled. Pipes and screws and o rings and every other kind of part all over it. Seems like the condition of the fountain should be simple for any passerby to deduce, yet just in case a sheet of loose leaf was marked "Out of Order" and put on top of it.

Scoping Soldier. I saw a man on the brown line platform waiting impatiently for his train. He was dressed in camouflage and looked like he had government issue backpack and boots. In an effort to see if the train was coming, he pulled out his scope and checked both directions. hahhaha. Who needs bus tracker when you have that?

Tanning Terror. This past weekend I found a dress for Genna's wedding. Thanks to Alli for getting me through David's bridal without crying, breaking something or making a terrible selection. ("Maybe I could just get a skit and then find something to go with it.") Anyway, the dress is clover and flowy and alot of back and arms- alot of my winter WHITE back and arms (oh-except for the cross on my back still courtesy of this past summer's burn). This caused me to want to go tanning so I went to Ultimate Exposure after work on Monday. Basically you can start laughing now, but I assure you that the name is only half the fun. After I asked the lady a bunch of questions and heard my Mom's voice very clearly in my head telling me to walk out, I got a 3 month membership. Would you believe that was cheaper that just 30 days? This super patient lady gives me goggles and a packet of tanning lotion- takes me to the room and shows me how to work the machine. I do my thing and get in the bed and then start to pull the cover closed and realize that my whole body is clenched in panic. I suddenly have visions of the lid getting locked shut, the machine burning me to a crisp like Larry and Beilke in that one episode of Perfect Strangers and dying. I left my hand sticking out a bit as a safety precaution, secure my goggles of the 50th time and turn on the bed. I am trying to relax... trying to believe Alli when she says that it will be a wonderful warm nap, but I am struggling. Now I am not only afraid of getting locked in, but also going blind- you have to admit, there are alot of intimidating signs around the place. You would have thought I was doing some kind of freaky version of the Hokey Pokey or Father Abraham- Hand out, eyes clamped shut, keep breathing, and count...
Oh yeah, I forgot to ask the lady how the timer issue works while I was still dressed so I was trying to count to the recommended 8 minutes in my head. :) I am happy to report that today was a bit better... still no day at the beach though.

Looking up that video of Perfect Strangers has caused a flood of my favorite childhood shows to surface and now I am hopelessly watching theme song videos to them:
Who's the Boss?
Step by Step
21 Jumpstreet
Growing Pains
My 2 Dads
Bosom Buddies
Night Court
Webster
Family Matters
Head of the Class
Silver Spoons
Full House
Alf
Blossom
Sister Sister
VR Troopers

I ain't no gold digger

2010-02-17T10:53:00.011-06:00

I have a friend who is a concierge here in Chicago. A really good one too I might add! The perks that come with being a concierge are amazing and I only got a little taste of that last night. I think it would be most appropriate to tell you about the evening in song, so here goes nothing:

I ain't high class but I ain't white trash
This song was what played through my mind as I walked into Sunda. This place is classy... clean and elegant. Everyone swirling and sipping a glass of wine. Everyone is networking and adding contacts to their BlackBerry. All the women are wearing black dress boots with heels and discussing reality TV. Waiters are walking around handing out mini take out boxes of chicken salad, sushi, steak on a lemon something stick, tuna, shrimp eggrolls, miniature cookies and more wine! Here I am on the concierge's arm in the midst of all this; Sparkly shoes from payless, tan courdoroy jacket, all the items that would be in my purse in my pockets instead. The one thing I had going for me was that I had the presence of mind to shave my armpits in the shower. :) It would come up inevitably, but I was still off kilter when someone asked me what I do. Uhhhh. I work for Moody Bible Institute. haha. In the Residence Life office. hahaha. I answer nervous parent phone calls. hahahaha. "That's nice" they said and then turned to network with someone else. hahaha. I cannot blame them- I'm a nobody to them. They were nice- very nice, they could not help it I do not belong in that world!

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..... I'm hungry (for you)
The food was delicous but came in very small portions. This left me feeling pretty hungry...I did get a gift bag upon leaving.... which included a sample size bottle of very expensive alcohol made from rice. That will be a nice regift. :)

Love me, love me say that you love me
I don't know that the lyrics as much as its association in the movie "HOT FUZZ" is why it came to mind, but this is how I felt at the play. It was Broadway in Chicago, but there was no way to enjoy it if you were over the age of 5. The actors tried- some of them had amazing voices and a few had great dance moves, but there's not a whole lot you can do with a bad storyline/script. I know it may sound harsh- like I am talking about something I know nothing of... and maybe I am. But the dialogue was so painful at times. The concierge and I spotted a few older women leaving the theatre in their FURS!!One of them which was bright red!!! Seriously, did they not know what 101 dalmations is about?!?! It felt good to laugh so hard... and try out some of the new dance moves we learned last night on the sidewalks of Chicago. :) We were inspired to "be a little bit braver... " hahahaha.

I'm Going Home (Michael Buble' or Daughtry... which ever version you prefer)
Before going home, I stopped by the friendly 7-11 and scored a hot dog and fro-co. This truly is where I belong and I wouldn't have it any other way.

It was like a Chicago Social Magazine picture come to life and it is fun sometimes to pretend you live the high life. I'm thankful to the concierge for indulging me in the pleasure of it.

HAPPY PACZKI DAY!

2010-02-16T10:24:00.004-06:00

Some traditions, I wonder why they started and how they survived.
This one though I do not wonder about at all, ever- it is a wonderful celebration of sugar and lard and everything that is fatness. So glad to enjoy this day with friends. and make friends by bringing these to work to share. Check out this website about Paczki Day. It is so funny to me.

If you meet a Polish person, thank them for this day!

ENJOY!

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

2010-02-05T11:08:00.046-06:00

David Jeremiah.

Really truly this man is my HERO! In my hear of hearts I am most grateful to this man for his faithful ministry. I had been waiting 6 years to see his name on the Founder's Week program...... and this year it was!

My wonderful Mother took the Amtrak to Chicago for the occasion. We were able to sit near the front and enjoy him preaching the Word in person. Afterward, we stood in line to meet him. I am not starstruck by many, but this is a man I would wait in line for! We met his wife Donna. She was wearing lots of sparkly things and I liked her. He offered a handshake that I miscalculated so instead, I gave him a hug. :) My Mom encouraged me to tell him how thankful we have been and are for his ministry. What a gift!

For awhile in high school I had panic attacks and anxiety. I would never want to relive that year of intense emotions (tears, sleeplessness, confusion, counseling, brokenness and guilt), but I would not give back that year of intense growth either. The LORD really showed me Who He is during that time, drew me close and healed some messed up places. My Mom and I would often listen to David Jeremiah on the radio on the way home from counseling- a couple times we had to pull over because we were both in tears at the truth he was sharing. He was going through a series called "A Bend in the Road" where he shared about some hard roads he walked in his battle with cancer and lessons we could learn from the desperate heart cries of David's Psalms. We ordered that series and there was awhile when I listened to one cassette each night just to get to sleep. It really was through those cassettes that I learned how to cope with pain and how to have faith when circumstances looked impossible; how much peace the Word of God brings and how freeing it is to know God's forgiveness.

I know that the healing was not David Jeremiah's doing. It was totally the Lord's and I'm so grateful for God using David Jeremiah's life and words to grow me up in my faith. If I had a list of life goals (which I often think of writing but can never come up with them on the spot), meeting David Jeremiah would definitely be on it....and now crossed off!

Vital Signs

2010-01-29T08:36:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was a yearly health screening at work. It is voluntary with a perk of $10/month discounted off your health insurance cost. So pretty much everyone does it. And really, why wouldn't you? $10/month off and a road runner band-aid... life is good!

Last years screening I remember all too keenly. Very attractive man nurse + heaviest weight of my life = embarrassing! Not too long after I went to see Dr. Evil and she whipped my perspective and my behind into shape.

Lately, I've been stalled in my weight loss and overwhelmed at how much farther I have to go. It was such an encouragement though to see how far I have come. Dustin looked through my results and said, "Wow! I can tell you are a very active person. What kinds of workouts do you do?" I think I was grinning at him like he was chocolate cake. That's right! I am a very active person... huh huh huh! (said in sexy french accent, of course) So thankful for the changes I have made this year and am looking forward to Dustin being even more impressed next year!

Falling.

2010-01-28T21:52:00.005-06:00

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Remember these commercials?I can't help but love it.
I felt kinda like Mrs. Fletcher yesterday on my way to class when I wiped out in the freshly fallen snow.

I was wearing my silver sparkly ballet shoes... They are not exactly winter wear, but I was revolting against this miserable season. Winter had the last last laugh however as I tumbled to the pavement scraping my hand and bruising my foot. Some valet guys stood around just looking at me and shaking their coffee cups full of salt in my general direction.

More seriously... later last night I also felt the hardness of falling- this time bruising my pride and self-righteousness instead of my foot. I hate falling. Hate the reality of failing. Hate being humbled. Hate asking for forgiveness. Hate being offered grace. Hate being needy. I am weary of myself and my sin. I'm sure many others are too. Andrew Peterson song lyrics spring to mind: "Falling down ain't graceful, but I thank the Lord that falling's full of grace." I echo his sentiments tonight.

98...99...100!

2010-01-27T17:03:00.005-06:00

Happy 100th post!
I'm not sure if this is as big a deal as I am making it, but we can pretend it is. I just feel like there should be some epic announcement or at least cake to celebrate this milestone. The biggest announcement that I have right now though is that I am eating (to be more accurate: attempting to eat) frozen guacamole. Now I know that the top shelf of the fridg at work keeps things extremely cold. Check.

Actually here's something that I don't think I have mentioned on here before. I am praying and planning on moving. Not out of Chicago, but out of the downtown. I love my roommate and my cozy apartment and my "commute" to work, but over the past year or so I have felt the Lord nudging me closer and closer to this decision. I wasn't ready to even entertain the idea seriously until Christmas break because I knew that making a move would require some changes (even some sacrifices) and we all know how much I looooooove those. hahahaha.

Well, since Christmas break it seems something has shifted in me. The changes and sacrifices that will be a part of making this idea a reality are now worth it to me. The excitement about what the Lord has for me during the next few years far outweighs the despair the CTA causes me (and as you may know; it causes me much despair!)

The basic plan is move closer to my church- to East Garfield Park or a surrounding neighborhood sometime in later summer. That's it. That's all I got. I am definitely not doing this on a whim, however I am doing it on faith. So, if you think of it, you can pray for me and send me any leads about apartments or roommates. Thanks!

C'mon... you didn't really expect me to pass up a hairy man cake, did you?

Do-Dads

2010-01-26T07:59:00.010-06:00

Elizabeth (Lil'Liz) was here with boyfriend Sean yesterday. That was fun to see them… for like 20 minutes, but still good.
My Mom will be here in 9 days! I am ssssssssssssssssso excited!!
David Jeremiah will be here in 10 days! Mom and I are ssssssssssssssssssssssssooooooo excited!!
Pearl is done for as of 1/24- they have nothing left and the doors are locked forever. So sad. RIP Pearl.
On Saturday I learned about a new massage technique called "cupping" (I know the name is bizarre and needs to be changed for the immature such as myself but it actually sounded like the process is pretty cool). Your skin is somehow stretched into these tea size cups on your back and then toxins are drawn to the surface. That way your body can flush them out quicker.
I went for a run to Lincoln Park and back... that was rough, but also good. The Shamrock Shuffle is creeping up on us. March 21st....
Mark and Joe and I made Samoas on Sunday night. They did not turn out 1/2 bad...mmmm how could you go wrong with toasted coconut and caramel?!?!
Since it is so cold outside I wore my PJ pants underneath my real pants. All day I have had a delightful lounge aura about me.
Tonight is GAME NIGHT. I love this night... when all my friends come over and we have slurpees and make much laughter!
(Intentionally blank)
This one is intentionally left blank because I feel as though there are so many more things in my head but cannot pin them down right now. This one will comfort me when later tonight I am lying in bed thinking about how I should have included... (fill in the absurd story/information)...I can ease my mind that it was #10.

The Gospel according to Isaiah

2010-01-23T23:21:00.004-06:00

Monday I had the day off work... to celebrate a hero in our nations history- Martin Luther King Jr. So glad that we honor this man, but also selfishly thankful for the day off to rest and watch JAG. :)

In the afternoon, I lit some candles and curled up with my Bible to read through Isaiah. I read chapters 1-35 in one sitting. Reading about the Lord's power and His holiness, reminded me that our God is no teddy bear. Even though I believe that God is mighty and just, I often choose not to think about the fierce aspect of these qualities. Instead, I find myself content to worship a God of my own making- one whose grace extinguishes His hatred for sin. It was overwhelming to see so much death and destruction and judgment and wrath being poured out.

As I headed to SLAM, my mind and heart were swirling with the weight of this message of punishment. I was not feeling ready to intercede for the night or talk to anyone really. Somewhere in the opening time, the Holy Spirit gave me such a Spirit of praise and understanding that this same wrath could have been poured out on me, yet God has withheld it. And knowing the depth of God’s power caused me to appreciate all the more the depth of His grace to spare me from that and pour it out on His Son instead. I was overwhelmed in such a sweet way with how great our God is. And also feeling a deep sense of reverent fear rising in me. And thankful to be at SLAM. Dave brought the Word and it was all about the Gospel and what it truly means to be repentant. He also had this guy share his testimony- 2 years ago he was a heroin addict and now he’s clean and a ref at SLAM. Only God’s power can do that and it is so spectacular!!!

Seeing a glimpse of the true nature of God has caused me to reflect on the way I think about worship. So many times I have thought of worship as being very familiar with God... and there is an aspect of knowing Him that I do not want to diminish; we do worship Him because of what we know about Who He is. But it would be a tragedy if in becoming so familiar we lost our sense of awe and wonder that this God would show any regard for me at all... that He would call me by name... that He would ransom my soul through the sacrifice of His own Son... that He would know the number of hairs on my head...that He would have plans of a hope and a future for me...that He would give me breath...that He would not strike me dead when He hears my thoughts...that He would know my every move... Like the Psalmist I could not help but be overcome with the reality of this. "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it." (Psalm 139:6)

3 Dinners and a Baldie

2010-01-19T08:24:00.006-06:00

Yesterday was an epic fail for me... in regards to alot of things... the funniest of all these being after SLAM.

I went to grab a double cheeseburger and McChicken sandwich at McDonald's after SLAM. I usually get that because I don't like french fries and one or the other just doesn't seem enough. For some reason when I got to McDonald's I wanted french fries though, but then couldn't decide which sandwich I wanted. I decided to get them all: A double cheeseburger mightykids meal and a McChicken sandwich. Whew! That was a perplexing one....

Right before I order, Baldie walks in with a woman... a beautiful one... who only planned to order a bottle of water! (I may have made that up) Suddenly I feel self conscious about the amount of food I am ordering. I fake like I didn't see anyone and mumble my order under my breath to Hosea. Another woman from SLAM shows up with some of the girls she is mentoring. She invites me to eat with them. Ordinarily, that would be so fun and I would stay, but I was overwhelmed with awkwardness about the man standing behind me and the amount of food that Hosea was going to hand in me in a moment. A bright flashing red light in my brain is screaming "Get out of here! Abort!" The next thing I know I hear myself make up some lame story about taking food home to my roommate. MY ROOMMATE... the one who is out to dinner with a friend from out of town...????? oh my word! Seriously, Rachel?

I don't know why I was in such a tizzy. Independently of Baldie and I not having spoken words to each other since the hanger incident, I had decided that "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." I guess maybe it was just the irony of it all... I hope that's all it was cuz it was ridiculous.

Hosea hands me my food and I jet for the door, making eye contact with only the floor tiles- as I come out I bump into this man who is asking for food. I hand him one of my bags and cross the street. I reach into my bag of food and pull out chicken nuggets! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I hate my life! There's no way I am going back in there. Long story shorter.... After this I picked up a bag of gummy bears and a cheeseburger at Portillo's and ate it all until I was sick last night.... Grease dripping from my fingers, I related the story to Mark at home, who was amused.

Awesome. Good response. Way to make healthy choices! :)
grrrrrrr. Next time Baldie... I'll be ready for you!

You know you work at Moody when...

2010-01-15T23:31:00.000-06:00

...this is news!

For Free: 36 #2 pencils (never used) free to anyone who wants to pick them up. The erasers do not work very well, but an eraser cap could be added. Please pick them up at the Distance Learning front desk (Walton 2) if you are interested.

TIDBITS

2010-01-13T15:20:00.003-06:00

5. I went to my first grad school class tonight. Isaiah with Dr. McCord. I loved it.... The workload definitely seems more relaxed than I remember even my undergrad classes being, however the assignments do seem to be more applicable to life. I am looking forward to digging into this complex book and being amazed even more at how faithful our God is. So thankful for His holiness and His fiercely gentle restoration; how He wounds us so that He can heal us.
sidenote about the class: 4 women in the class, 1 who is married. 6 men in the class, 5 of whom are married. Bum odds. :)

4. Something I have not done since Thanksgiving: Shave my legs. That's always fun to find out in the pool locker room. oops!

3. Season 2 of JAG arrived in the mail today. I was so excited to find out how Harm proves that he did not commit this murder.... but OH NO! Part 2 is nowhere to be found in the second season. Why? you might wonder, as did I... Well it's because NBC dropped the show after the first season and CBS picked it up for the rest of the time. CBS did not feel obligated to explain what happened especially since the victim from "part 1" is Harm's PARTNER in season 2! It is unbelievably nerdy that I know all this and just put it on my blog so that now you know too... Those special features can be so dang informative. :)

2. My dear friend Alli threw me a surprise party to celebrate my birthday this past weekend. It is my first surprise party ever! I liked it. We ate delicious food and cake (homemade by Sarah) and played our fave game of all time... telephone pictionary! Many hysterical memories were made including the infamous 4 legged chickens. Phil and Lem from "Better Off Ted" will be developing them in the lab soon. hahahaha.

1. Favorite Christmas Card- from Meeeeegan Yoho

JAG

2010-01-06T21:58:00.005-06:00

For my birthday I got the first season on JAG on DVD. The real old ones- where Catherine Bell isn't in it yet. At first I thought maybe my love for the show had waned, but it was nostalgic and David James Elliot was just as dreamy as I remembered from high school.
Since I got back to Chicago I have been watching it pretty constantly... I am on disc 3.

The language in it almost makes me want to join the Navy or Marines. Somehow I don't think my co-workers would o along with me saying things like "scuttlebutt" or "screw the pooch." (Though I do know at least one who would appreciate being called "Sir/Ma'am".)

Note: Yes, he is married. Good for him. Better for his wife. In finding this picture, I also noticed that he runs triathlons and he renewed his vows in a kilt! I'll be researching if he has a twin next.

more stories than I can contain

Vocab Words

Grieving Outsider/Insider

LOYOLA- Fall 2012

The Deli

Underground Apology

Shhhhhhhhh!

Glimpse

Is YOU My Boo Thang?

My Purse

Baby, baby, baby, oooooooo!

Ridiculous Information

High School hair and other things I am learning about growing up

Introducing….

A Man in a Mexican Wrestling Mask Walks Into a Game Stop…

Overheard

A-U-B-R-E-Y .C. M-A-R-T-I-N

Top 5 fave things done with Aubrey C. Martin:

Mid-afternoon Train to Memphis

A list

Squeeze

4th Annual Lawndale 5K Walk / Run

The God of Peace

Inspiration Kitchens

Lois' Lawn

HOMIE

Hairy Scarys

Nervous Nelly

I belong!

ACSD in the Ozarks

I feel happy of myself!

You Sexy Thing!

Red Badge of Courage

Oooooohhhhhh….

GLUM

The drought of 2011

April Fools!

Hyacinth On-The-Go

Hey Batter, Batter!

Good Luck!

New Snack of Choice

Zipitty Zipcar!

TAP, CHANGE!

Been a Minute

The Return of Joe Bob

Points Plus

Adventure on Madison

Facts of (my) Life:

Snow Globe

Feet

All Things New

Hope Floats

SAFETY FIRST

This.Is.Amazing!

You dropped your pants!

Aragorn Strumming on the Old Banjo

For the love of the weekend...and men

Petition

Running & Hemorrhaging

Peculiar Loves

Hyacinth

The Commute: flirty

The Commute

9 days

An Ode to CEF

Don't Panic...Eat Fresh!

Joy Comes In the Morning

INTERNATIONAL SENSATION

More than a block party

Lost and Found

Convocation of Baklava

Blogless August

Carmine Ragusa

Once Upon a December....

Residence Life

That's what I'm sayin...

The cost of a story

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig!

It's a blessing, baby!

MEGA