The other morning on my way to work I waited for the brown line for 15-20 minutes…When it finally arrived I boarded the train just as grumpy and annoyed as the hundreds of people waiting on the platform (I may be exaggerating about the brevity of the crowd).
The four ladies from my neighborhood behind me didn't seem to mind the delay because they had things to talk about. They talked about their business loud enough so that the whole train car could hear and not have any doubt about what these women thought about it all.
Landlord- useless
Knee pain- unbearable
Children- lazy as ever
They sat in a cluster on the outside seats, turned into a huddle in the aisle. There were some choice words peppering their commentary as well.
Sitting on the inside of one of the seats was a little thing, all of 30 and perfectly manicured. Cutting through the ladies chatter, she whipped her head around and brought her extended index finger to her pursed lips. “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” For a moment, the whole car was stunned and waited to see what would happen next.
Loud Ladies: “Excuuuuuuse me! I am not your child!”
Brazen Blondie: “You’re so loud! and you’re swearing.”
Loud Ladies: “You aint never heard swearing before? I’m not at your church!” (lots of mocking and laughing between group)
Brazen Blondie:(Looks around desperately for someone to support her assertion, but everyone is wearing their ‘city face’ pretending nothing is happening) “Well, you’re not going to get very far in life swearing and being so loud!”
Loud Ladies: “Excuuuuse me! If you don’t want to hear what I’ve gotta say you can just close your ears!”
Brazen Blondie: (shakes head defiantly, points both index fingers and inserted them to her ears)
Woah! It was like a front row seat at a theatre. I did pretty well at keeping a straight face on the train, but as soon as I exited I laughed my head off the entire 2 blocks to work. It’s a comic tragedy of sorts though really. These were real women who treated each other this way in real life on their average commute (this part I did not exaggerate at all).
Sure, I get annoyed when people are talking loudly on the train. Sure, I hate it when people play their music at an inconsiderately high volume. Sure, it’d be great if everybody kept their language PG. Sure, I’d rather not hear about people’s portfolios or sex life or health problems. But Blondie, it’s public mass transit! You can’t isolate yourself from everybody else or their business on it!
It makes me sick to think that this woman decided whether these ladies would be successful in life based on nothing more than conduct on the el one morning. These women were more than 20 years her senior and probably could have given her a much more severe life lesson in that moment. That assumption about their ability to be successful in life influenced the way she treated these ladies- as children who could learn from her sterling example, rather than as women who have weathered a hell of a lot more life than her.
I know this scene has caused me to pause since and think about my own assumptions. Daily, I so desperately need the Lord to transform my mind about what it means to be valuable, successful, beautiful even. In this country, in this city and in my own heart our heart attitudes that can produce such ugliness need to be examined. Our words have the power to bring life or death…let’s choose them wisely.
